This has made me so angry.........................

by vitty 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  vitty

  I was talking to my sister who has never been in the org, about a non witness aunt who has terminal cancer. She was telling me how my aunt was putting her affairs in order and wanted to start to organize her funeral.

  Apparently she wanted to have a service in the little church on the corner of her street, but said that if she did all the witnesses in the family wouldnt attend and because she desperately wants them there she has given up the idea and will go for something that wont offend their fragile sensibilities.

  This just made me feel so mad. I always felt guilty, when people had to accommodate me because "my religion doesnt allow me to do that " or whatever I said. And I did attend weddings and funerals ( I stood at the back when I could )

  But this really takes the biscuit. I think I was more angry than my non witness sister. They go on, and on about their religious rights and consciences but never take into consideration what they take away from the people who have to stand down and give way to their "demands" so to speak

  Now im on the other side of the fence, I realize how much crap non witness family members put up with
• 

  The wanderer

  Sorry, you have had to under go such circumstances.
  Sadly, the Witnesses have been brainwashed beyond
  recognition; so they do not take into account how
  their actions may affect others.
  
  Not even in such extreme cirumstances as what you
  just presented regarding your aunt.
  
  Sincerely,
  
  The Wanderer
• 

  Gill

  (((( Vitty ))))

  I totally agree with you and am eternally ashamed of my attitude and arrogance as a JW!

  I hope your aunt can decide to do what she really wants. I am forever still impressed at how non JWs take such pride in their funerals and get so much respect from their familys......unlike the dreadful Watchtower funerals!
• 

  buffalosrfree

  Why would she want those losers there anyway? She should make arrangements for what she wants not what they will put up with. Screw them who in the hell do witnesses think they are anyway.

  At a burial ceremony for a fried that recently died, my wife (a dubby) refused to sing the song "When the roll is called up yonder I'll be there" I thought that was pretty shitty and said so later, she said her sensabilities would be offended if she sang it. So I smiled and said well the few times I accompany you to the dub hall and don't sing will be because my sensabilities will be offended too. She didn't like that. tough shit.
• 

  vitty

  Buffalow free

  That is the point, non witnesses are the better person in many circumstances because they put the JWs feelings above their own. Something a witness would never do.

  They take pride in making a stand, it makes them feel spiritually superior and it gives them browny points with the big "J"

  Many non witness family members dont want a fuss or cause a rift, JW members dont give a s...t what bad feelings they cause. They would just say they are being opposed
• 

  fullofdoubtnow

  (((Vitty)))

  You have every right to be angry. The jws shouldn't be able to dictate where a non witless funeral is held, and if they don't "feel" they can attend a church, let them stay away. They are very good at demanding respect for their beliefs, but rarely show respect for others.
• 

  zagor

  Apparently she wanted to have a service in the little church on the corner of her street, but said that if she did all the witnesses in the family wouldnt attend and because she desperately wants them there she has given up the idea and will go for something that wont offend their fragile sensibilities.

  I'm no longer believer but this would tell me that your aunt is greater christian than dubs. She feels emotions of other people. It takes a truly great pearson to be able to do that.
• 

  geevee

  Yes!! I am with you on this.
  My wife has some non-witness relatives. Fantastic people who have had to live as outcast/black sheep until we defected. The always allow any JW relatives the opportunity to pray for their meals even in their home. They never question or challenge them, just respect them, but they never get it in return...respect that is.
  Now we get all these conversation about this call and that call and this person at the meeting and on and on. If I wanted to know, then I'd still be going!!!
  Arrrrrgggghhhhhhhh
• 

  LittleToe

  Family issues are the few remaining things that press my buttons, so I can understand where you're coming from.

  My sister bent over backwards to make it easy for immediate family to attend her wedding (she's an exJW, too), then this happened:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/15/65125/1.ashx

  Since then there's not much that I let touch me. It's a segment of my life that I've generally divorced.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  I take it that there are a lot of Witness relatives? If there are just a few - perhaps she could still use the little church on the corner, by asking them individually if they would come, and then decide. Some witnesses will go to a church for a funeral - though not most I know.

  Perhaps they could have a 'brief' service at the church - then the longer part of the service at the grave-site, depending on the time of year she passes.

  How sad, the arrogance of a few ruins even the final wishes of some.

  Jeff