My Ex is suicidal, apparently (page 2)

dmouse

Thank you for all your comments.

I know I have strong, well balanced children. It is amazing, even in the worst of scenarios, how resilient children are!

My concern is for my Ex. I was married to her for 20 years... she was the most intelligent, beautiful woman, she was the mother of my children. Even though we have been divorced now for over two years I still miss her. And feel her pain. But there is nothing I can do. She hates me. I am a child murderer.

And people wonder why we hate this religion...

ballistic

I know this might sound pathetic dmouse, but sometimes things are clearer in the morning. Sometimes it's the only way I keep going.

PopeOfEruke

It's funny the Witnesses are not helping your wife now. It's always the way, any problems and these "true Christians" head for the hills.

I think the local congregation is now responsible for your wife's well being, After all she is the one who have all her support to them.

People have to lie in the beds they make for themselves. JW's too!

All the best for you.

Pope

ballistic

Here we have a bunch of the most wonderfull people who have been through the most amazing fucking crap. I'm glad we are all here for eachother. PM me anytime you need.

JWdaughter

I am sorry for the pain that you and your loved ones are going through right now. I am concerned about your kids more than their mom at this point-any that still live with her. Is she a safe person for them to be living with? Have you talked to her about whether she wants apostate children living in her home? Between her depression and the way that JWs treat DF or opposers in the family, your child(ren) may be in danger of physical or emotional abuse-hardcore. In your compassion for the woman, please remember that those children have this mom that THEY think is suicidal. Not a safe or stable place for a 14 yo to be, for sure.

I wish you all well, you might want to insist on counseling for her if she wishes to retain custody.

Shelly

Abandoned

I feel for what you're going through. Having been suicidal most of my adult life, mostly due to how ugly I feel like in god's eyes, I can only tell you that I hope the best for you and your children. I sure can't say I understand why situations like this come about, but there's still some part of me that hopes that one day all this crap will make sense. Here's a *HUGE HUG*.

jwfacts

People often join cults at a vunerable time in their lives due to some trauma, but conversely, that is also the type of experience that can trigger them leaving,

Maybe your wife can be reasoned with to look a bit further into her beliefs. Many mothers would die for their children (though the WTS does train mothers to have conditional love in order to shun d/f children). Your ex feels she has nothing to live for. I know it is cruel, but the question could be asked by one of her children, "do you want to live for eternity without your family?" ... "Then what is the harm to at least spend a few hours making sure the WTS really has the truth?" Once a person has the motivation to look into it, convincing them it is a lie is often not that hard.

jgnat

Your children were all launched in to independence far too young. Are all three in a good place now?

As for your wife, it sounds like the employer is taking the necessary steps. She may need to be committed for a time to protect herself. Who does she trust outside the society, that can talk some sense in to her? She HAS a whole family, if only she could see it.

dmouse

Had an update from my son today. It seems that some JWs did come round this morning to 'comfort' her but she was too upset to see them - she told Ben to tell them she was too ill and went upstairs in tears. I believe she is ill, depressed and has been for some time. She still cannot accept that Ben is Gay or that all her children are leaving 'the truth'.

Ben told me that Chloe has back-peddeled somewhat and has made concessions for her mum's sake - I don't know what that means, possibly more studying etc. I did warn her to expect heavy-duty guilt pressure from 'mature ones' in the congregation. It seems so wrong that Chloe is forced to put up with such crap at the age of 15. Of course, being a JW, my Ex has NO friends outside, and I suspect that the counselling provided by her employer will be little help because they just won't concur with the Society's way of dealing with all problems (more service, study, meeting attendance).

I've suspected for many years that my Ex wasn't firing on all cylinders but I really don't think she would harm them physically, and my children are used to her "You know what Mum's like" is a common expression from them. They are very mature for their age and I am confident they can handle things. Ben is 19 now and parents aren't important anymore except as a source of funds!

Anyway, we'll see how it develops.

juni

Good day dmouse,

What a story! My heart goes out to you and your kids. Sounds like they are hanging together and are survivors of this mess that this d*** religion causes. My kids went through A LOT of pain while in this organization. I was gung ho w/the religion and they were made to go. I have so many regrets and my kids now all adults w/kids of their own and I have had heart to heart discussions about the past.

They feel that I did what I felt was the best for them. Kids can be so forgiving. They asked ME to forgive myself and go on w/my life. I've been out for 14 years now. I DAed myself not that I did something to be DFed for, but it was on my terms. I was fed up w/the whole mess and the lack of support from so called "friends".

Now we enjoy holidays and occassions together as a family w/all of the grandkids. I couldn't be happier. Life does go on.

As someone else said here, your wife perhaps has to reach the "bottom" - a mental breakdown. I experienced this after I left because of all of the guilt I felt. I was at the point of suicide and I got professional help which really helped me to value myself again and put things in perspective. For years it took me to find my place as a worthy human being again and not a "robot" living some man made organization's life style and dictating what is acceptable and what isn't to God.

For your wife, she has to come to her own conclusion to get help. If she does, it is a real possibility that she could "wake up" and be her old self again.

I feel for you as you and your wife have 20 years of history together - and not all bad I'm sure.

I wish you the very best and all of your kids too. Hopefully your ex wife will value her family and her relationship with them and get help. If she so chooses I would support her in that because with her head on straight you might be able to be a whole family once again!

Again, the best to you and your family.

Juni

My Ex is suicidal, apparently

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