Elder's wife nosing in... need help with a letter

by merfi 23 Replies latest social family

• 

  merfi

  Hey all. I read through my 10yo open msn window where she was chatting with the elder's wife... A few of the highlights are:

  Do you think you might like to come to a meeting sometime? One of the Book Studies is at our house on Sat.
  Everyone would be so excited to see you. You could go with us, if that would make it easier for you.
  Just let us know if you would like to go with us, we would pick you up.
  Do you and Madison ever talk about the meetings?
  All of us think about you guys alot.
  We miss you.
  Didn't you think you would be missed?

  My knee-jerk reaction was to write a scathing email peppered with the word "cult" and some legal stuff. But I haven't sent it as I know it's probably best to sleep on it. I'm going to post it here -- please have a go at it and help me if you could. I knew this day would be coming (when one of the well-meaning "friends" would attempt to get my kids to the meetings) and I feel nipping it in the bud is the best thing, just from what I know about this congregation...

  So, with that, please get your red pens and highlighters out and have at my email to the elder's wife. :) Thanks so much.

  Here it is in it's first-draft, 85wpm pissed-off-ness.

  I just read through your msn conversation with Sydney and I have to say that I'm quite furious, although not surprised in the least about what I read.

  What you are implying to do in your offer of "we would pick you up" I consider an attempt at alienation of affection as Sydney is a minor. Do not undermine my parenting and legal position as her parent by your meddling as we are all quite content and happy here, having left a religion of conditional friendships, never-ending scrutiny and fake love. Planting seeds such as "did you think you wouldn't be missed?" is extremely underhanded. It's quite a horrible thing to mess with the head of a child, MY child; you will never do it again or there will be legal actions taken against you and/or any other Witness who attempts to go behind my back. I have herefore forbidden any of you to bring my children to any meetings or other association with this religion. What they do in Omaha is michael's business and I have no control over it, but when they are here with me, their custodial parent, they will follow my rules. And my rules include NOT setting foot in that Kingdom Hall without me.

  We have enjoyed being normal, please stay out of the happiness and freedom we have found.

  It is clear to us that "Jehovah" is the boogeyman invented by a 'governing body' of self-righteous and delusional men; the literature is merely the 'magic blanket' under which you all hide. I am done hiding -- I've escaped the blanket and the boogeyman and with it all the lies and "never being good enough". As well, despite what Dwight said, I do feel that I deserve to be alive and for the first time in many many years, I AM living. And showing my children that this is a wonderful life…

  I expect my wishes to be honored; you know the consequences of disobeying them.

  Rachel
• 

  Wasanelder Once

  Well written and powerful. Those morons better get the point. Have you blocked her from your childs MSN account? Not hard to do.

  W.Once
• 

  jayhawk1

  Wouldn't picking up Sydney without your permission be considered kidnapping? I suggest starting your letter over and use the word "kidnapping" instead.
• 

  BabaYaga

  well.......
  
  Yeah, it's pretty danged hot under the collar. My suggestion is to create a lovely little ritual for yourself and BURN this letter... and write another one.
  
  It's not that you aren't justified in writing it or feeling that way, you are. I'm just thinking that by knee-jerking this way, you just add fuel to their fire. I just keep hoping that everyone still in could have the opportunity to see the TRUTH about the "(T)ruth", and reading this letter is just going to make her dig her roots in deeper. Just try to see it from her side. She really IS concerned about your daughter... yeah, it's creepy... but she really does believe that she is saving her life. *shudder*
  
  Just my 2.5 cents.
  
  Baba.
• 

  sass_my_frass

  Mmm, okay. Print that letter out, put it in a drawer, and write a new one. In the new one, have no anger, hate, or opinion towards JWs. Point out only that you're happy, and that you will not give permission for her to attend meetings. Then use the words 'kidnapping' and 'legal action' in the least psycho way you can. Then post it here and we'll try again.
• 

  Scully

  You could send the chat log to MSN and report her for enticing your child and influencing her to go somewhere without your knowledge or permission. I'd get legal advice before sending a letter to her.

  I'd sign on your daughter's account and see if she tries again. Then lambaste her up one side and down the other, and tell her you are reporting her to the authorities for child endangerment and religious harassment. Then block her every way possible. No email, no MSN, no Yahoo, no AIM, no skype, no ICQ, no nothing.
• 

  snarf

  Rachel,

  Just when you start living your life, they come back in and mess with you in one way or another...too bad it has to be through a 10 year old. I would just keep it simple and to the point. Contact with your 10 year old daughter is unacceptable especially without your knowledge. If you find that they have contact with your daughter again without your knowledge, especially involving picking her up and taking her to a location without your knowledge you WILL file a restraining order against them as that is kidnapping. Make a copy of the online conversation for court documentation just in case. Also, I would delete the contact info from your daughter's online account so they cant mess with her head.

  So sorry to see you have to go through this crap, hope it goes away fast for you.

  Lots of hugs!!!!

  - Kris
• 

  blondie

  I wouldn't say anything about how you feel about WTS doctrine.

  Just the fact that she is encouraging your minor child to disobey and lie to her parent is very, very serious.

  What if a noncustodial adult were to influence a JW child to take a blood transfusion or to leave home without permission and go to a church?

  If this elder's wife were to encourage her to do this without your knowledge or permission, it could be considered kidnapping.

  Blondie
• 

  Virgochik

  I agree with Blondie...keep it simple. How would Mrs. Elderette like it if she discovered someone was e-mailing HER child to come away with them? What if Merfi started coaxing her daughter to hop in the car for a ride to Mass or something? Bet the s*it would hit the fan!
• 

  sass_my_frass

  Alright but if you don't want to do that, at least tone it down a bit:

  I just read through your msn conversation with Sydney. What you are implying in your offer to take Sydney to meetings without my company I consider an attempt at alienation of affection, as Sydney is a minor. Do not undermine my parenting and legal position as her parent by your unwelcome meddling in our family happiness. Planting seeds such as "did you think you wouldn't be missed?" is extremely underhanded. It's deeply manipulative of you to interfere with my child's emotions in this way; and if you or any other JW attempts it again you will face legal action.

  I hereby forbid you to take my children to meetings. What they do in Omaha is michael's business, but when they are here with me, their custodial parent, they follow my rules, which include not setting foot in the hall or in your home without me there to deflect the damage done by the games you don't even know you're playing.

  We are now very settled and happy here, having left a religion of conditional friendships, never-ending scrutiny and fake love. It is clear to us that "Jehovah" is the boogeyman invented by a 'governing body' of self-righteous and delusional men; the literature is merely the 'magic blanket' under which you all hide. I am done hiding - I've escaped the lies and "never being good enough". As well, despite what Dwight said, I do feel that I deserve to be alive and for the first time in many many years, I AM living, and showing my children that this is a wonderful life… They have never been happier, and I will not let anybody damage them again.

  I expect my wishes to be honored; you know the consequences of disobeying them. We enjoy being normal now. Please stay out of the happiness and freedom we have found.