Talking to a DF'd sister...

by SoBizzy 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • SoBizzy
    SoBizzy

    I am not DF'd and have not DA'd, just faded the last six years - Anyway I was remembering a time when I was about 18 or 19 and a very good friend that I had grown up with was DF'd for fornication - well she was finally coming back to the hall to get reinstated and I hadn't seen or spoken to her for more than a year - so when she showed up at the hall one night I told my mom I was going to say hi! Remember, she was still DF'd - my mom said I shouldn't and I told her I don't care - I had missed my friend and wanted to just say hi! So I did!!

    I said to my friend - "I just wanted to say that I missed you and happy to see you back!" She was of course shocked that I came up to her in the middle of the KH in front of everyone! The elders of course counciled her about speaking to me - of course she didn't even say anything because she was in shock that I came up to her - I was just thinking how funny that is now! I didn't even get counciled to about it from the elders - or if I did, I don't remember that part!

    Has anyone else done anything like that??

  • mimimimi
    mimimimi

    I have made it a point to greet disfellowshipped ones, give them a pat on the hand, and let them know I was glad to see them there. Always with someone I knew well, though. I was disfellowshipped myself in the past and I was always very offended by the way that people would treat you when they found out you were disfellowshipped. When I first starting come back to the hall, my unbelieving husband came with me and a sister came up and introduced herself and started to be friendly. When I told her I was disfellowshipped, she drew away as though she had been stung, turned quickly, and almost ran away from me. She never said one word to my husband. It was so extremely rude and a very bad witness. My husband said he would not come to the KH with me again until I was reinstated. He saw a lot of rudeness and lack of love from the JWs over the years and finally reached a point where he would not even come to a KH for a funeral for someone.

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    That poor chick; one person in the KH treats her humanely and then she gets in trouble for it!

  • Virgochik
    Virgochik

    You showed more love and kindness than the whole Hall-full of unChristians! Silly tho, you talk to her, and it's her fault?

  • SoBizzy
    SoBizzy

    You showed more love and kindness than the whole Hall-full of unChristians! Silly tho, you talk to her, and it's her fault?
    Thanks! I felt that way too! I just missed her so much - I didn't care what anyone else thought - (darn, can't get rid of this highlighting thingy!)

  • Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
    Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

    I gave a secret hello and a smile several times to a gal with 4 little kids who was DF'd from her first meeting at our KH. When she was reinstated, she came up and thanked me! for being kind to her, said it kept it from leaving when she would feel awful and alone there.

  • gay pride
    gay pride

    haha...this is a funny topic to me personally...

    i got reproved soooo many times for not caring whether or not the person was df'd. i would say whats up to 'em at the hall..give em a smile...pass em a note.

    but i never stopped talkin to 'em. always thought it was stupid. i'm not gonna judge that person!

    i got counseled (countless times)...private reproof and public. but...never will regret makin someone feel good. i could only imagine wat it felt like then...but now i personally know wat they felt like now...sux

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    I use to smile and nod at df'd ones at the hall, and speak to them away from there if the opportunity presented itself. I always hated the shunning doctrine, so cruel and unnecessary.

  • BCZAR2ME
    BCZAR2ME

    Something brief and polite is never going to hurt.

    bczar

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    After I was about 16 I quit following orders very well. My friend's brother was disfellowshipped and we visited him in his home a couple times a week. He was a good friend and I liked him better'n most of the Witness people.

    He never returned to the Witnesses and I didn't stay.


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