It all starts after you hear "these things we pray through Jesus Christ, Amen".
I gather my books and the kid's books and put them away. By that time people are walking over to us and talking to my wife and playing with my kids. They will talk to her about the weather, the meeting, her pregnancy or anything. Do they ask about me? No. Do they talk to me? No. Not only will they not talk to me, they don't even acknowledge my existance with a nod, a smile or even eye contact. See, I'm dead to them. Who are these people? Well, they are ones who claimed to be my best friends, my spiritual brothers, people who loved me, well, only until 3 men judged me as a sinner worthy of death, now I suppose I'm not worthy of even a "hello" from them. Screw 'em. I stay at my seat for a while because with a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 1/2 year old my wife needs help keeping an eye on the kids. After a short while I just can't take it anymore. Thus the walk of shame begins. I navigate my way through the forest of people all the while noticing people....not noticing me (or at least pretending not to). I walk right past a friend of mine who doesn't even look at me even though over the summer we sat on my patio after putting up a fence and shared a six pack and played with my dog. Then there are the elders, the sheppards of the flock that see a sheep having trouble and offer no help, again not even a glance. Then the real hurt and anger hits. I see little kids, most of whom play with my son and daughter. They won't even say hi to me. These are otherwise innocent little kids who know they can't talk to "that man". I get my coat on and walk out the door, I go to the car to sit and stare at the night sky windering if I am indeed the kind of person that deserves this type of treatment.
Thanks for reading, I just needed to vent. It's been about 2 months or so since my DF announcement and it's just getting hard to do the walk of shame 3 times a week.