JW Weddings (page 2)

Will Power

ah - that clinking of glasses thing. I will never forget during my first JW wedding experience - I wanted to know why clinking and toasting etc was SO BAD! this is what i was told with a STRAIGHT FACE - that in the old days, they would clink the glasses to wake the dead spirits. I nearly died with laughter inside - SO THATS WHY YOU DON'T DO IT NOW? cause you're afraid that it might work even tho you wouldn't be doing it on purpose? OMG. Little did I know at the time that this insanity would become part of MY marriage! ( I'm a UBM by late conversion ) wp

Jeffro

Throwing rice can be a hope that the couple have lots of children...definitely not a JW policy and considered "pagan." I have been to non-JW weddings who make the same request. It seems that rice does not agree with the digestive systems of little birds and it makes a mess.

I can understand why some people wouldn't want confetti or rice because of the cleaning etc. But it should be up to the couple.

It is just plain dishonest if it is stated that the couple say confetti can't be thrown if it were really a stipulation by the elders.

sass_my_frass

uuuuurrk, isnt it a yawn! It would be tricky though if they really wanted to eliminate all pagan wedding influences... they'd have to get rid of the aisle, white dresses, bridesmaids, flowers, rings, veils, music, cake... but, that would make it a confirmation...

* still angry that my siblings didn't text me on my wedding day *

blondie

I can understand why some people wouldn't want confetti or rice because of the cleaning etc. But it should be up to the couple.

To some extent, jeffro. Certainly not the elders unless they own the building the reception is in. Even churches have certain requirements in order for people to use their buildings for weddings. In the case of the weddings (non-JW) I attended it was by request of the building owner. So if the couple wanted to toss rice they had to have it in another building.

I'd be more concerned about my non-JW relative/friend not being able to stand up with me than worry about rice being tossed.

Blondie

Juniper123

The recent WT has a series of articles on this, I'll see if I can pull scans and quotes. But of course it is a yes this may be the happiest day of your life but your always happiest about Jehovah, right? Right? Better say yes dammit! And that it suggested after the exchanging of vows a talk "may" want to be given before the guests go to the recepition. Between this and the statement in another recent WT that meetings will continue into the new system of things I'm very glad I shall be resting in the cold, cold ground for eternity when I die.

Beep,Beep

"no rice or confetti be thrown"

I have been to a few weddings were the throwing of rice or confetti was something that the reception hall frowned upon. Too hard to clean up it seems.

Beep,Beep

"I was also told :

No discos

No barn dance

No alcohol

Not too many non jws"

I don't understand 'no discos'. Did you plan on having a reception there?

The 'no barn dance' must have been a local thing as I went to many.

"No alcohol"? Come on how mant times have we read that the elders were/are all DRINKERS?

In our case my future father in law was VERY opposed to drinking ( his right) and to honor his viewpoint we had no alcohol at our wedding.

"Not too many non jws" Who determines how many is too many? Sorry but these sound like a local thing.

dobbie

Hi BeepBeep we ended up with a sit down buffet but i also wanted an evening do for more family neighbours etc . I think barn dances over there may be different than here?Apparently ours are country dances but some of them started off as pagan dances, bit like the maypole i suppose. I was told no disco as it would be thought too worldly an atmosphere, same with alcohol.Perhaps it is more of local thing, it was mainly my other halfs family saying all this.I didn't even get to choose the songs, we chose two but the elder marrying us said one of them wasn't a suitable theme and wanted us to go with his, which we did.We were both immature, i'd only got baptised the year before and didn't have a clue, we had no help from any witnesses and my parents organised it all and with them being non jws and not seeing what was wrong with these things, and no one talking to them about it i guess it was bound to end up in tears - which it did!

Odd thing is that now these ones that were saying all this have been to discos recently and they drink like fishes!lol!

The not too many non jws was because they knew ALL my family and friends were'nt jws and they were worried that these 'worldly' people would smoke,swear etc and Jehovah would'nt like it. It was constantly drummed into us that everything was done with him in mind first.I did find it a bit offensive because my family etc is great but i was too scared to speak up

raylo

<--- happy i'm not married..lol

I actually stopped going to JW weddings loooooooooooong ago. You've seen one, you seen them all...lol J/K. I fell asleep at the three I did go to, so I figured I'd do just as well sleeping at home or turning on my own music to listen to...same effect, but without the spying.

Actually it wouldn't matter either way....... the elders would be pissed at me because I'd refuse to have a KH wedding anyways. I simply get deftly annoyed when other ppl pen their opinions or try to overtake something that it is not theirs to take. If they want to plaster a host of rules down, so be it ....but at their own wedding, not mine. I just refuse to pay for or invite persons who have no personal interest in the bride and groom, only an interest in how the wedding is perceived in the eyes on onlookers. Hell a judges chamber works wonders for me.....or if I bother marry, all I need are the groom, some family, and some friends......who the hell said I'd have to invite a whole hall of ppl? I'd just as well get married without inviting ANYONE from the hall, then stroll my ass in the very next meeting as a married woman.(ok that won't happen since I really don't go to meetings) The marriage will be the same whether or not the rest of the cong was invited. I'm an extremely simple woman, so it wouldn't be the wedding I'd want to be impressive.....it'd be the marriage that I would want to impress my groom and myself for quite some time.

My mother, the devout JW, actually understands this and has no problem with it. The only qualm she has is that I'm in no hurry to get married. I'll be 30 soon and she just by damn wants me to get all hitched up.........but even she admitted when we spoke yesterday that even within her cong, the ppl were of no suit. So I'm glad she didn't try to pressure me into dating & marrying anyone there as the other sisters tried to. She actually no longer even mentions ONLY the men of the JW society as she realizes that that is just not a reality for me or for her. She is aware that although techically I'm still baptized, I don't even look at the men of the organization. If I wanted to marry a robot, I'll build my own. Likewise if anyone gave me some list of rules for a wedding, it'd be best of it were for their own, not mine. The confetto/rice thing though is usually because of the difficulty of clean up. Hell some ppl find the larger things hard to clean up, so the rice and confetti can be a nuisance.....and could still pop up in corners,etc. months after a ceremony. But the no disco, no hay rides(ok I wouldn't do that lol), no alcohol, certain amt of non JWs.. etc..ok that is someone's personal no no wish list to which I (since I know my mouth) would tell the elder a simple and flat "Don't come then". Hey it beats the alternative of "Well %@ you %$#@&, you're not paying for this and I damn well didn't ask your *&^%# opinion"

Raylo

Sam87

ive been to one wedding (a JW one) and they said there isa to be no toasting, that was a bit strange i thought.

JW Weddings

Share this