thank god (another letter to jehovah)

by theinfamousone 21 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586
    I have worked very hard in my training and the demonstrations that are required to prove that I am the leader that was built to resolve all the wars, suffering and destructive activities this earth has experienced. I have in my head the simple system that quickly and permanently manages this planet as God would want it to be. If you think God was just standing by watching this horror you are wrong he built, trained and assisted me in the same ways he was with Jesus and I am ready to serve you when you are ready to listen and follow my lead.

    Wow guys, I think we should be very proud--we have a personal problem-solving android in our midst!

    Listen pal, I know you want to take on the world, but could you help me out first? See, I've got this problem. I asked two girls out on dates, but I accidentally scheduled the dates on the same night, and in the same restaurant! Boy is that embarrassing! Anyhow, if you could disguise yourself as me and be the wingman...I'd totally owe you one.

    Thanks Mr. Awesome Android!

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    Sir586,

    God just contacted me by megaphone and these are his exact words:

    Go my son in peace, I will simply cause a time warp and split you into 2 and you will be able to keep both dates. And as far as saving the world well that's another subject it seems I have been falling down on the job, but cheer up because my replacement may do a better job. You see god is being banished as a myth, just like jupitor and uranus relics of the past, waiting for human imagination, the sky is the limit.

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