When the active JWs come to your door, do you listen and take whatever they're offering, or do you not open the door? When I move out (which I hope is soon), I'm planning to fade, but I am sure that my father (elder) will insist on knowing which cong. I'm attending. What should I do then?
Inactive/Faded JWs
by Chameleon 14 Replies latest jw friends
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Arthur
The fact that you have devoted parents will make this difficult for you. The best thing to do is go ahead and have your publisher cards transfered to the new congregation's secretary. Go ahead and attend several meetings in the new congregation so that you can at least share names and various details with your parents.
Then, it time, you could fade by attending only two meetings a week for a month. Then, one meeting a week for a month. And then one meeting every two weeks; and so on; and so forth.
However, if your father is the type of person who keeps close tabs on his family, and wants to be very involved in your life; your fade will become very difficult. From my own experience; I can tell you that simply trying to fade away quietly is almost impossible when your family members are devoted, and always want to talk about the "truth". This is something you will need to prepare for. It has been an extremely difficult process for me when I tried to fade. In the long term; it simply isn't going to work for me. Eventual disassociation or disfellowshipping will be my fate.
If you wish to fade quietly without your parents quizzing you about your "theocratic activities", then I hope that you have the means to move out of state. ( half-joking )
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Undecided
I married a worldly woman and began to fade and my family blamed it on my wife.
Ken P.
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insearchoftruth
My wife's family blames a lot of her inactivity on me, she was never baptised, but as a child she did a good job of keeping the parents happy and doing the jw things, now she avoids the jws best she can, though she is still not convinced it is not the truth, which I need to work on and have her conclude (I can't do it for her).
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jaguarbass
When the active JWs come to your door, do you listen and take whatever they're offering, or do you not open the door? When I move out (which I hope is soon), I'm planning to fade, but I am sure that my father (elder) will insist on knowing which cong. I'm attending. What should I do then? When the JW's come to my door and anyone else, 90% of the time I dont answer because I'm bussy typing on here or playing my guitar or doing things that I want to do. After having been a jw for 31 years my time is very precious to me, I think of all the daylight I burned at those boring meetings. What should you do when you move out? I think your screwd. You come from a dysfunctional family, Jw's and your family gives conditional love. Thats a mind bender. Harden your heart and say screw them, if you can. But short of that theres alcohol, pot, pain pills and therapy. To leave you on a pleasant note. Nobody has a perfect life. They say the grass is always greener on the other side. So I say grin and bear it, and try to enjoy your life.
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fokyc
When the active JWs come to your door
They just want to use the loo (bathroom)! If they work my village there isn't a facility for miles!
They never offer me anything or talk about anything to do with the WTS!
I assume they expect my wife to keep me up to speed?
They will accept a cup of coffee or tea
fokyc
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Dismembered
If "active dubs" come to your door knowing who you are, then, under the guise of "oh we miss you so much...blah blah blah" it's really just to snoop and sniff around. Remember, they have to go to those boring ass meetings---so (in their mixed up butternut squash minds) you can't get off that easy either. The difference will be that you've come up with the nerve to say screw it/them, the meetings suck, "Ive had enough". And they don't/won't.
If you move and all of a sudden there's a knock on the door, rest assured they're more than likely spys for your old man. Don't answer the door.
Dismembered
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magoo
.........happy birthday fokyc magoo -
RR
My wife and I just walked out and never returned, we moved some 50 miles away and never looked back.
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jgnat
Guys, correct me if I am wrong, but what's stopping Chameleon from giving a fake congregation name and have his publisher's cards mailed to a friend (fake elder?). I believe there is at least one member of the board that will help with this.
.........happy birthday fokyc magoo