CAN RELIGION ACT AS A PROTECTION?

by Dansk 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  Dansk

  I've just finished watching The Oprah Winfrey Show on TV (we're behind the Americans, the show was about a year old) and it showed a group of teenage girls, from 13-18, who were into binge drinking, drugs, self-mutilation, etc. Peer pressure was a major source of the youngsters' doing what they did as they were desperate to fit in. Those who didn't want to get involved in such dangerous activities usually had no friends and ate alone at lunch time.

  Now, most of you will know that I don't have much time for God anymore. When someone says:"Thank the Lord" and "We all stand before God", etc., I find it a real turn-off -- but at the same time I wonder if having a real love of God or Jesus actually helps a youngster stay out of trouble.

  I'm an atheist now, but my children have a Bible background due to the JWs. So, I haven't brought them up with an atheistic attitude, but that seems to be the way my younger three feel now (my older daughter is still a JW). Obviously, not having a religion doesn't mean one cannot instil good morals into our children - far from it! - but I'm wondering if having a religious belief actually serves as a protection.

  I'm not naive enough to think having a religion means one is unlikely to get into trouble - that's why I stated a real love for God or Jesus.

  And, NO, I'm not suddenly contemplating going out and becoming all religious. I'd just appreciate your thoughts on this matter.

  Thanks,

  Ian
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  Gill

  Hi Ian!

  I suspect that believeing that religion can protect is not the case. It would perhaps the thoughts of religious fanatics that only they behave 'properly'. In the end, children are taught good behaviour by their parents. This only works if their parents actually behave 'well' themselves. There a millions of non religious parents who bring up 'good, moral, well behaved' children.

  Then there are the 'little buggers' who behave badly no matter how they've been brought up!!! No matter what religion or beliefs their parents try to teach them, they want to do the opposite.

  It's a game of personal choices and consequences in the end. It's probably a case of a youngster own sense of self worth, maturity and intelligence.

  You can be whatever religion you want, or no religion at all - there will be those who rebel against everything - why? Just the same reason as some people climb mountains - Because it's there to do!!
• 

  greendawn

  In my observation couples that are deeply religious have happier more gratifying marriages with a very low failure rate. The spiritual dimension does add something vital to it, though that doesn't mean that all the rest do not have happy marriages. Many don't but some do.
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  fullofdoubtnow

  I suppose if someone has a genuine love of god and jesus, they would try to live a moral life, and in that way it would be a protection against getting into drunkenness, drugs etc. I don't think we need religious beliefs to stay away from those things though, just common sense and parents who are moral themselves and instil the same qualities into their kids. A parent wouldn't need to love god to do that, just their kids.

  I don't believe in god anymore either, and I don't think I'm any less moral than I was when I believed, though of course I live with my bf now, which I obviously wouldn't have done as a jw. I certainly haven't got into drugs, drunkenness, sleeping around etc now I'm no longer in any way religious.
• 

  Dansk

  Hi Gill:

  It's probably a case of a youngster own sense of self worth, maturity and intelligence.

  The above stuck out like a beacon for me. I just think with so much peer pressure and wanting to fit in children in their teens are at incredible risk. We've all seen those who think they know it all at that age (didn't we?!). I don't think it's at all easy for such youngsters today - and remembering the 15-16 year olds who attacked my older son recently at 1.30 in the morning it's obvious some (many?) parents don't give a hoot what their kids get up to anymore.

  Ian
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  Gill

  Ian! There's some totally useless, crap, parents out there!

  Those 15 and 16 year olds who attacked your son, well, I remember replying to that post! I strongly believe that their parents should be punished.

  There are very few kids who are real sociopaths and would behave violently or aggressively towards a loving parent who set rules and boundaries.

  My youngest goes to a ROUGH school. All of my kids have been to this ROUGH school from age 3 to 10. I could take them to a better school BUT I want them to see how the other half really live and suffer because they have such useless parents. I'm not talking about 100 % of the parents there but about 20 %. Kids turn up for school in midwinter in a thin shirt and thin mac. They have had no breakfast and are pale and wilting. They ask their parents for food on the way home and the answer is NO because your dads spent it all on booze and fags. Believe me, in the last 18 years of taking my kids to this school I've seen and heard it all. It makes you weep to see these kids some days. It's an education for my children too.

  These same kids, followed through as my older children went to school with them till 16, ended up in prison, unemployed, on drugs. Few have made it in life.

  Only Parents can act as a protection for children. Once a parent abdicates his or her responsibility there are very few that can save a child from their own self destructive course.

  It's time to start ass kicking these BAD parents. Hit them in the pocket. Don't give them family allowance, give them food vouchers!

  Religion is a protection for nothing.

  Good parents and love are the only protection!
• 

  Dansk

  Hi Gill,

  I take on board everything you said. I can't agree more - especially re parents setting the example.

  Tell me, were you bringing your kids up JW when they were at school?

  Ian
• 

  Narkissos

  Somewhat paradoxically, I think it's not the "love of God" but the negative aspects of religion that are more apt to "protect". Whoever is able to "love God" in a fully "positive" way could love his/her neighbour and walk "straight" in life just as well, without the help of religion.

  The real social function of religion (which needs not be all about religion) I see more in its substitution of symbolical or imaginary violence to real one -- preach the cross/hellfire/Armageddon instead of destroying yourself or others.

  There's no crimeless (= borderless) society, no social law (however sensible or flexible) without transgression. As Gill put it "it's there to do," and in a sense someone has to do it. We just can improve the economy of violence -- lower the rates -- and symbols may be very important in this regard.
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  Gill

  Hi Ian!

  My older children were about mid teens when we began not going to meetings very often so, they had been brought up JW through this school. It was a very difficult time for them. My daughter regularly had to duck flying furniture in her class and there were similar problems in my sons class. To be JW as well caused them ridicule. Especially as it is a C of E school.

  The twins were only known as JW at this particular school and NOT at their next school.

  The youngest got to know nothing about JW land! She was in the Nativity play in her Reception Year and we even went to watch her. She's the most 'normal' of the lot.

  The older ones have some JW hangups!

  They still are confused with 'wrong and right'.

  For example, one brought home a pirated DVD! I said they couldn't watch it!

  They sat laughing at me (bear in mind here that these older two have A levels and are reasonably intelligent!) but they laughed and said:

  'So it's OK to celebrate Christmas but NOT to watch a pirated DVD!!'

  I had to basically explain the difference!!!!

  Having been JW definitely has affected their thinking abilities and understanding. I don't have the same problem with the younger ones!!
• 

  Satanus

  Doing all those things in order to fit in w their nonreligious peers, and belonging to a religion in order fit in are the same things, although they involve doing vastly different things. That said, religion can still keep a person from drugs, booze and sex. As pointed out, 'self worth, maturity and intelligence' can help a person to be true to himself and avoid the worst of both paths.

  S