What do YOU say to people in hopeless situations?

by AlmostAtheist 34 Replies latest jw friends

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  littlerockguy

  If you die,can I have all your stuff?..Cheers them up evey time!..

  OMG, I have to remember that one!! Laughter really does help even in the most dire situations and it does brighten ones perspective on lots of things.

  LRG
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  Woofer

  I offer a sympathetic ear. I find that most times people are not looking for advice, just someone to talk to, or someone to validate their feelings.
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  Mysterious

  Life sucks and then you croak. No wait maybe that's a bad idea. I've never been one for sugar coating the truth though. Hear me out. If you tell someone "it'll get better" a lot of them won't believe you. If they do believe you and keep thinking things will get better and they don't they may despair even more so that platitudes will no longre cheer them up. If however you tell them that yes things are really hard or even suck but you are there for them then they not only are prepared for the fact that they might have to endure a little longer but they also know that you are there to give them the additional coping resources they might need.

  I also definitely think that if you are going to try to comfort someone you should be prepared to be there for them not just give a few verbal pats on the head and fly back to your relatively comfortable existence again.
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  stillajwexelder

  I dont understand but I want you to know we are (I am ) thinking about you and you are in our prayers
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  jgnat

  I remember two more.

  DON'T say "call me if you need help". The bereaved are usually too shy to ask. Instead..

  DO things as they come to you. Mow the lawn. Offer to pick up mail. Any sort of errand that might be too overwhelming for them that day. It's not the SIZE of the thing you do, but just that you were there.
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  stillajwexelder

  great advice jgnat
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  snarf

  Depends on the situation. Sometimes I try and steer them in the direction of public assistance programs such as food stamps, medical assistance or housing assistance. These preograms were designed to help people temporarily in need. If that is not an option then I just let them know they can call day or night, do laundry at my house, invite them over for a meal, watch their kids for a couple days for them so they have time to really think about their next step.
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  troubled mind

  I have a Friend that lost her daughter to suicide this year, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change that for her . All I CAN do is cry with her, hold her hand , and tell her how much I hate it too . It can be emotionally draining at times , but I always think to myself if this was me I sure hope someone would "just be there" for me . I agree with the person that said there is much power in the human touch , a hug can really go along way when it is a hopeless situation .
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  seven006

  David………………………….This is something a incredible lady friend of mine e-mailed to me recently that helped me at a very low part of my life. I couldn’t have said it better myself……………………. It’s a quote from a very wise man……………… "The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?" - Henry David Thoreau……………………………………………. Dave
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  delilah

  My neighbour was recently diagnosed with terminal breast cancer, she has weeks to live. I've been making a meals for her, she has 3 daughters, who have been helping, but none of them can cook. She has an aid come in every day to help her personally, she can no longer walk etc. She is only 52. What do I say? A hug, some meals, "I'm sorry", all seems so futile. But she appreciates it. Sometimes, just being there, not knowing what to say, is all that is needed.

  Sometimes actions, speak louder than words.