JW attending funerals in Catholic church

by wordlywife 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • TopHat
    TopHat

    Yes, when I was a JW I went to a Catholic funeral for a friend who had died of cancer. She wasn't a close friend and was very opposed to JWs. I learned later from a friend of hers that she had my daughter dress up has a whore and parade around the casinos just to see the reaction of the men. Mind you my daughter was only 15. Made me angry to know she did that to my daughter. AND to think I cried at her funeral! Now I want to spit on her grave!

  • wordlywife
    wordlywife

    Thanks Aunti Jane. I doubt he will ever NOT be a JW. I'm sorry to hear how your nieces and nephews behavior made you feel. Very sorry.

    WW

  • becca1
    becca1

    Yes, this is a conscience matter. However, I think there are many who don't know that so they don't go for fear of repercussions. And then there are the die hards that don't realize that by not attending the funeral of a close family member they are actually giving a terrible witness and further alianating their relatives.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    die hards that don't realize that by not attending the funeral of a close family member they are actually giving a terrible witness

    becca1, that is so true. This is a time to be there for each other, not be
    scared of the Governing Body Jehovah's displeasure that you heard some
    words in a church from a minister/priest. True worship should be able to
    withstand that. Even as a JW, I always went to family funerals, even if the
    service was in a church or even if a priest spoke at a funeral home.

  • blondie
    blondie

    It is a conscience matter but..........as in every WTS 'conscience' matter, the consciences of others can be more important.

    Notice how these WTS statements steer the JW not to go.

    *** w02 5/15 p. 28 Questions From Readers ***

    Being in a group where everyone else is engaging in a false religious act, a Christian may find it difficult to resist the pressure to join in. How unwise to expose oneself to such pressure!

    Not to be overlooked is the effect our attending a service in a religious building might have on fellow believers. Could it injure the conscience of some?

    Under certain circumstances (what are the WTS approved circumstances?)he or she may conclude that no difficulties would arise from attending a church funeral or wedding as an observer. However, the circumstances may be such that by attending, the likely injury to one’s own conscience ( if only an observer what damage would be done? JWs watch murders, adultery, smoking portrayed on TV but still watch) or to that of others (if a JW who believed in no alcohol drinking can they see you go into a pub?) would outweigh the possible benefits of being present. Whatever the situation, the Christian should make sure that the decision will not interfere with his preserving a good conscience before God and men.

    Blondie

  • mimimimi
    mimimimi

    I went to many Catholic funerals and weddings over the years for my husband's family members. I attended weddings and funerals of other faiths for people I was friends with. I learned early on to keep my business to myself and not discuss it with anyone in the congregation. I received all kinds of moronic advice from people who were not in my situation, as well as being judged for what I had done, until I learned that lesson. Worrying about other people's consciences is only a way to keep control over the R&F. They can worry about their own damn consciences.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    This came up several times in our family and I think there are more serious repercussions if you are a servant . My FIL and BIL would not go into the Catholic Church for a close family members funeral service because (one )they didn't want to stumble anyone in the hall , and (two )they could lose priveldge of service over it ????!!!!!! .... No matter my MIL was so tore up over it since this was her sisters funeral ....we all sat outside in our cars like idiots !!!! I wish I had not been so gullible back then ..even then I knew it was wrong ,but I went along with everyone else . When my Grandparents died my husband and sons were advised not to be pallbearers since the service ( mind you in a funeral home) was conducted by a worldly minister . It was veiwed that if you participated as a pallbearer then you were in agreement with the ministers religious veiws ....OH GOD WHY WAS I SO FREAKIN BLIND THEN ! I finally grew a back bone a few years ago and when a very close cousin of my husbands died we attended her church service .It was very comforting and a beautiful memorial to her life . I'm so glad we went .

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    When my Grandparents died my husband and sons were advised not to be pallbearers since the service ( mind you in a funeral home) was conducted by a worldly minister .

    Troubled mind, I really feel for you on this.
    As a fully believing JW, and as an elder, I was a pallbearer at my Aunt's funeral held in a Catholic Church. I was there for the family, I carried a heavy load so older relatives could do their weeping.

    It was not a big deal. The only thing is that I knew that I should not mention it to fellow JW's. If asked specifics, I would admit it, but tell them how important it is to comfort family. Shunning a funeral because of this is like 10% of the mint for the pharisees. Weddings- I will go from now on, but as a believing JW, I skipped the Church Wedding and brought my gift to the reception.

  • mimimimi
    mimimimi

    There is an elder in a congregation close by whose wife, a pioneer, told me that they attended a wedding in a church of one of her family members. She had told her husband that since they never went to the holiday things her family had, she was afraid her family would think that she and her husband did not care about them at all if they did not attend the wedding. There were no repercussions over it, but I am not sure who all knew.

    My experience has not been the elders saying anything about it, but people within the congregation, usually less educated and more ignorant ones. I learned to not tell anyone anything about my life, and I really did not socialize with the people in the congregation. My husband and children were not witnesses and we had our own life.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    I think there are more serious repercussions if you are a servant

    I was told at Pioneer school that this was true. A pioneer's (or any appointed servant's) qualifications would be considered if they attended family reunions, church funerals, church weddings, a few other things such as military boot camp graduation. Even though the CO said that we were held to a higher standard, I still took it to mean, DON'T TELL OTHER JW WHAT YOU DID.

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