I think AuldSoul has the situation summed up there! You trumped her!!! Jealousy is a very painful emotion. She appears not to be able to let the childish jealousy go and just grow up. You should certainly feel sorry for her, but that's all.
"You are the connection to evil." (or, my JW sisters and me)
Some people are just incapable of taking the blame for anything. It is always someone elses fault. They run off the road, it was the car's fault not the fact that they steered the car in the direction of dirt instead of road. We have all met these people and it seems your sister is one of them. She is miserable and needs someone to blame it on. Who better than someone she never sees? That way she will never have to face the person she is blaming. You are the perfect fall guy. She really needs help, but it sounds as if she doesn't want it. Don't allow yourself to be her patsy. You know these things are incorrect and if you ever see the people she is saying this to, then let them know it is incorrect. Other than that, cherish the fact that your other sister and parents still speak to you. That is a true blessing.
PS. If I had any aunts in the truth, I would swear you were one of them, because your sisters sounds identical to my mother.
You're free and she is not - thats the part she cannot stand.
Before I was d/f I used to be "jealous" of other d/f people. I thought "they have the balls to stand up for something that they believe in, and right now I don't".
Also, second sister said to me "This feels like it's a sibling rivalry thing; more than anything else.'
Yep. That says it all. Plus it sounds like she's got some mental problems and is in need of some meds.
Well, she is unhappy and messed up in every way. She has no power over your life. You are blessed that she has cut you off and seems like others can see through her nonsense. Flick her like the booger she is. She wants to be miserable and even if you did everything she wanted, you couldn't fix her. Be happy, have joy, love and let her define her reality in whatever way makes her the most miserable-since that seems to satisfy her.
God bless YOU.
you are a great writer. I felt every bit of that with you and I bleed with you. Being in the shadow of another person and then pushed back into that shadow when you try to assert your individuality has to hurt so much. Be proud of the woman you are now. Your husband obviously is and if I had to ask you in a moment of clarity I'd say you were also proud of that woman. I'm unsure of what else to say. Know that you will be in my thoughts and that you have the support of a family here. I don't know what color your eyes are, but I'm proud of you. :D
What shame on her to treat you like that.
Hence the saying: FRIENDS are God's way of apologizing to you for your family.
((((( Essie )))))
The way you described your eldest sister
the great Diva
tells us everything we need to know about your sister.
She's always been used to being center stage and having her entire world revolve around HER. Including you. Now that you have stopped playing her game, the great Diva orchestrates ways and means to draw people back into orbit around her.
I hope you understand, Essie, that this is not about YOU. It is about HER and her seeking attention of ANY kind to engage you in her world. When you voluntarily disconnected from her she lost an important source of self-affirmation for her. Of course, it was a dysfunctional source of self-affirmation because it always came (and still comes) at your expense, yet to her, you are/were a source of validation nonetheless.
You wondered: I don't get how I can be the cause of the misery in her life when she hasn't seen or spoken to me in years, by her own choice. She's miserable because you are no longer willing to play the game by her rules. It's the only way she knows how to exist - validating herself by putting other people down. People who have healthy self-esteem do not need to do this to anyone else. She is probably extremely insecure and afraid that you will surpass her on so many levels - so beating you down with verbal and emotional cruelty is a way of intimidating you into not even trying.
My guess is that she is fabricating gossip about you in the hope that it will get back to you, and that you will confront her on it and again become engaged in her world so she can start belittling and berating you. She probably desperately needs the attention, and not giving her any attention is frustrating her in ways you can't even imagine.
You're doing the right thing, Essie. Don't engage her in her sick mind game - she's the one who is making herself miserable - and using you as her bête noir. You represent a life that she probably aches to have but is terrified to do what it takes to achieve it, so she does what she has always done - belittled you and your success - more to convince herself that she doesn't want the kind of life and freedom that you have, than anything else.
We all know the wonderful person you are, Essie, and we're here to remind you of that whenever you need it.
(((((Essie))))) Scully has summed it all up very nicely. Your sister IS to be pitied. The fact that she has been this way since she was a young child shows this to be true...of course, the way of the dubs only fosters her own evilness. You write so beautifully - I would be first in line to buy a book authored by you. I wish you would consider putting your story/life in an autobiography or even a novel. Love, Zazu
Sounds like you are just a scapegoat for your sister's mental/emotional issues. Try not to take it to heart, she sounds very unbalanced.