Divorce Rate of Those When Young??

by buffalosrfree 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  buffalosrfree

  My daughters were at a club the other evening ( Saturday) and ran into 5 witnesses they knew as younger children, They had all been married and were in the process of getting divorced. Four were men, 1 woman, Two of the men we had known literally for years and I had liked them all. I had told my children when they got married that it wouldn't be long before they were married. My girls still believing the wt hype thought me wrong and told me so.

  Well seeing is believing, they were really surprised, then when I told them about their getting divorced before they were married they kind of looked at me and said well how did you know. I said they mostly got married because they were horny and being in the cult there isn't much they can do about it without suffering disfellowshipping etc. So they get married and end up ruining thier lives for a few years and the lives of their mates.

  So I reckon this is an ongoing thing, we know of several more who are in this same exact situation. but it was good my girls got to be at the club and run into it headon so to speak.
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  roybatty

  I said they mostly got married because they were horny and being in the cult there isn't much they can do about it without suffering disfellowshipping etc. So they get married and end up ruining thier lives for a few years and the lives of their mates.

  Been there, done that. Throw on top of it the pressue to be "good JWs" (instead of working on your marriage at such a critical time) it's a recipe for disaster.
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  Navigator

  Five of my J.W. kids married other Jehovah's Witnesses. Four are divorced.
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  under_believer

  Just as arranged marriages can work out, so too can young marriages. But it takes hard work, persistence, and above all pure dumb luck.
  
  I married as a young Witness. I was 21 (barely). We've been married over ten years, and we're still together even with all the turmoil of my "falling away." Our marriage is as strong now, despite the religious question, as it ever has been. I have my fingers crossed that this will last (and I plan on working my ass off to ensure it). Will I succeed? I don't know. I hope so.
  
  On the other hand, literally 80% of the marriages of our Witness childhood friends have broken up. We are convinced that it is because they got married so young.
  
  We were lucky and bucked the odds. If you get married young like we did, chances are it won't work out.
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  Woofer

  I married at 19 after only 11 months of dating. We lived over an hour apart and saw each other about every other weekend (chaparoned of course).

  "Worldy" people told me I was too young to get married, but being a dub (and smarter then everyone else of course) I did it anyways. I'll admit that I got married because I wanted to have sex. Three weeks after my wedding I came home from work and cried and cried my eyes out. I realized what a mistake I made.

  I left after 4 years . . I didn't care if I was d/f and lost my entire family (which is what ended up happening) I just needed out!
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  bubble

  I married at age 20 after 11 months of dating. Obviously I was desperate for sex, and as soon as the novelty of that had worn off, about 2 years, I knew the marriage was over.
  
  Being a good jw, I couldn't just leave, so I had 2 children and tried to take my mind off my problems. It didn't work. I got divorced after 16 years of marriage, 14 of which were unhappy!
  
  Marrying too young really doesn't work, except in special cases, which tend to be the exception not the rule.
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  sister rebelious

  I, too married young....at 20. Of course we felt it was the thing to do... or else get Df'd for having sex..... which we had anyway - we just didn't tell anyone. The marriage suffered for 13 years until we knew it was over. Then the question is: Who will "fall" first.... by comitting adultery? It was me........ so, like woofy's comment above, I lost everyone and everything I every knew. It has been a struggle..... but I'm not living a lie anymore.....
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  Wordly Andre

  I have 2 brother and 2 sisters, one of my brothers is in his late 30's never married, but the rest of us have been divorced at least once, my oldest sister twice, my other sister married the most perfect JW you could ever meet, my parents tried to get me to study with him, all the elders loved him, and all talked so highly about him, a few years after they were married he started beating my sister, in fact he almost killed her, he has since left the JW's and my sister stayed in the ORG. What is really weird, after I moved out of my house and got my own apartment I started living with a girlfriend, my dad was on my case about it so bad that one day we just went to city hall and got married. I don't blame my divorce on my dad since I was on my own at the time but I think if the pressure to get married and not just live in sin was not there we would have dated for a while and moved on.
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  Zico

  I'm only 20, I'm not married, but I was in a... serious relationship at the beginning of the year when I was just 19, and was even considering proposing, until she shocked me by breaking it off to 'put spiritual things first'. I was guttered at the time, but after finding this board soon after, I realised what a lucky escape that was. She was a nice girl, but far too dedicated to an Org that I now want to leave, and I know I'm far too young to make that decision. In the last year, and in the next year to come, a few of my JW friends around my age have been married or are to be married. I do not think ANY are compatible, and I am sure they will all struggle. I know of one married couple, both are 24, and have been married almost 4 years. They are both clearly miserable. The girl even opened up to me once that she didn't want to be married her husband, but she can't leave. It's so sad.
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  Wordly Andre

  Zico, Enjoy your life, Travel, have fun, go to college, I wish I would have done that, and if I ever have kids someday I will tell them the same thing. When your married at such a young age you feel kind of like some of your freedom is over, all of a sudden you have to take care of someone else, when you really have not learned how to take care of yourself.