Can't live with...Can't live without....

by JWFreak 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dansk


    A BIG thank you to THIRDWITNESS. Your ramblings trying to defend the indefensible...was what really opened my eyes.

    Which is exactly why JW apologists should always be welcome here. Their ridiculous defence of the Society does more to hightlight their idiocy than anything we can ever say!


  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Everyone I know....I mean everyone is a witness....What a mess I am in..

    This may sound trite, but it isn't meant that way:

    There are SIX BILLION people on this planet, and only one out of a thousand of them is a JW.

    So your solution is clear. You have a little self-help project: begin meeting other people!

    The method you choose for this is up to you. You've been trained to have an isolationist mentality. Fight it; make an effort to be pleasantly friendly to strangers. Not everyone will accept your gift, but some will.

    Where to do this? In your neighborhood, at the store, etc. Some people attend churches, some join clubs devoted to subjects they are interested in, like hiking or public speaking or conservation or wild sex.

    You have wings, but they are undeveloped. Begin using them gently.

  • juni


    Gary said:

    until the Witnesses started lying to me and belly pushing me and my little 3 year old son

    and I remember a post by you Gary that literally you had a belly push by some egomaniac at the candy machine at an assembly, right? You're little son or grandson wanted some lifesavers (?) and this moron came and literally pushed you away.

    This organization is a farce w/a bunch of bullies pushing their non authority around.


  • TweetieBird

    Welcome JWFreak...hang in there, it will get better. You are in an excellent position to start working on your family since you are still an elder. Read some of the profiles on how others got their families out while still in.

    For me, I had to move far away from my JW family to finally live my life the way I want. They still think I go to meetings and when I need to be updated on what's going on with the organization, I come here to get my "spiritual food."

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    But when your eyes are opened to lies that you believed you whole life...40 years and more.... It makes you Angry, Sick to the stomach and empty.

    Everyone I know....I mean everyone is a witness....What a mess I am in..

    We've all been there. It's not easy, but it can be done.

    What to do? For the most part, it's up to you. I just quit going; 13 years later my wife joined me. Neither one of us has been DF'd but then again we don't care. Many people have had success just fading away. Moving might be an option as well, but that's a bit drastic and expensive. I was in for 18 years, my wife for 47 years.

    We lost most of our friends. I haven't spoken to my father or sisters since 1992 (which is actually a good thing!). But we were able to keep some JW friends. Ultimately they must make a choice as well. But we made new friends, I think better since the people we have around us now are not conditional friends.

    If you lose everything, you can rebuild. Take it slow, one day at a time. Be honest with yourself and true to what type of person you want to be and you'll be okay.

    Be well,


  • Seeker4


    Thanks for coming onto this board on my earlier thread. I really appreciate your input, and also what you are going through.

    I was baptized at age 11, served as a reg pioneer for many years, was appointed as a MS the year the arrangement came into being. I was 20. At 26 I was made an elder, and remained one into my 40s. When I realized this wasn't the truth, it was quite a shock to me.

    I've been where you are, and I know the feeling, the fear of losing everything. My life did change in huge ways that were totally unexpected, and I'm still in that process. I had so many Witness friends, and I'm very social, so that was a very difficult part of the process. Just take it a day at a time, and come on here and vent. PM any of us, and if you want, I'll be glad to talk with you on the phone.

    Take your time. Get some support. Enjoy the journey ahead. It will be something else, I assure you.


  • lawrence


    "Spirit is something that no one destroys." - Traffic

    The sun will shine in your garden. Take it slow, and groove on the thoughts and things you were told were anethema. You're going to be fine.

    peace, blessings, and joy

  • Gill

    Welcome JWFreak!!!!!

    After nearly five years of fading, I can honestly say that what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

    I think you may have been given some suggestions for stepping down as an Elder. Faking any illness will help. Never say anything to controversial in front of anyone who you don't know is 100% on your wavelength.

    After all these years, (and recently being contacted by some relatives again, which I'm not too pleased about) I can honestly say, I don't miss one JW, including one JW relative, even a little bit!

    Life is good, healthier and wealthier, and more importantly happier than ever before.

    Good luck with leaving. Do it slow if you can.

  • becca1

    Dear jwfreak: Please hang in there, many of us feel just as you. My husband and I are constantly talking about how to manage this situation. I am not naturally a patient person so this is really testing me. Let us know how things go so we can all learn together.

  • solo

    Everyone I know....I mean everyone is a witness....What a mess I am in..

    but isn't just this part of their way of keeping you in, they control who you associate with so that you think twice about leaving because you just do not know anyone else, you have no allies, friends or anyone you can talk to outside the JWs org. Most people need people and shy away from heading out on their own.

    that is exactly the dilema I was faced with, I walked away from my whole family and everyone I knew - but you would be surprised how quickly you make new friends and acquaintences. I have more friends than I have time for now, there are so many genuinly nice "normal" people in the wordly world which is a whole lot better than the fake friends who are forced together in the land of dubs

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