Pakistan Wedding for my Quicki Mart Friend

by Sparkplug 18 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Sparkplug

  A man that works at the corner has been especially nice to the kids and I over the last years. He had to go back to Pakistan recently for 6 months. He did get married during this time. This is the first I have seen him in so very long. And he had photos of his wedding. He was so proud. His wife was sight unseen to him.

  So in the wedding photos you see her covered and all of her sisters etc. His father and mother chose his bride and it is a good thing he was a good kid. For they chose well. The photo I liked the most is the one of him peeking into her veil. Then you see a smile a mile wide. She is gorgeous. He just had me look at his album over and over. He made me a promise that when she gets to come next year that I may take a photo shoot of them.

  I joked and said what if she had been really ugly inside and out. He said There is no way. That he truly is in love. He told me some get married and never really fall in love. He said with her that she cries each night when he calls for she misses him so much. He also said that if someone offered him a bunch of money to sleep with someone else now...he never would. For he really wants to be with her... all of their lives together. He said he is so happy and I just wanted to dance around as he was for he looked so absolutely happy.

  Anyhow, I am excited to get to see them this summer and take photos. For she is so beautiful and his father has an all white beard. A very fine looking family. He told me that just as a hand has 5 fingers and none are the same, so it is with people. That not all are crazy and terrorist. And then he looked at me and said that you know in America that people think all black people shoot up everything. But you are a different finger. He said I was a fine woman raising fine children and that is the best he can describe it.

  So tonight I am a finger of a different size and shape. and I am very happy for my friend. I loved his description for at times it is hard for me to wrap my mind around it. This made it clear and seeing his family made it more clear.

  Just people.
• 

  Sparkplug

  Well I thought it was a neat glimps inside another culture.
• 

  skyking

  It is a great glimpse and very interesting. I am glad to see it works for some. I could never have trusted my family too pick a bride for me.
• 

  Sparkplug

  If you knew my mom. Oh heaven help me with who she may have picked. OMG. Probably some nosepicker. eeeeewwwwwwww
• 

  LDH

  then he looked at me and said that you know in America that people think all black people shoot up everything

  Why, yes, but you should explain to him that not all "Americans" live in mobile homes at or near poverty level, either. These are the Americans he speaks of that believe that black people shoot up 'everything.'

  I think I would have pursued this line of questioning to find out where he gets his personal viewpoints of black Americans.

  Plus, he can't love someone he doesn't know. I don't care how great mommy and daddy did at picking, he has not been intimate (not sexual) with her for an extended period of time to know if he loves her.

  Lisa

  No Spin Zone Class
• 

  PopeOfEruke

  what's wrong with nose-pickers???

  Pope
• 

  Sparkplug

  LDH- He has been over there the last 6 months at least and then it was extended. So he has had a good part of a year to fall in as much love as he can. I am not saying this is the most ideal way to go into marriage. I am just happy that he is happy. This is how he chooses to do things.

  As far as the black people thing. I am afraid I live in Tx and am half black. (somewhere in there) and a good portion of upper class, good job holding health care earning Americans are just that.,..racist. Be they White, Black, Hispanic, Pakistanian..anything. Fact of life. I am sure he gets his viewpoint as do many people around us. Stereotypes, news, magazines, CNN, NBC, radio and papers. And those are sometimes based on fact. We can go into a huge statistic battle over who commits the most crime and what is the prison population followed by what percentage of his influences are Aryan Card holding members. But I choose to look at is as I do most anything...

  That is that he has a different life than you and as I have a different life from him, I can be happy for the amount of happiness he can get from this. Would I want to be married off with no choice...no, would I be content if that is all I knew and I was to end up without an ugly moose of a husband. In those circumstances..of course. We work with what we have and he does not seem to be the kind of man that judges me for being a single mom of multi races, multi fathered children. I cannot judge him based on how he has been raised. I do know he is pretty liberal and seems to be a kind man. He married a woman and it turned out for him. Of course I don't know her, but maybe if all holds true, I will this year. And that might be insightful also.

  Added to that, I don't really judge the JW's that were raised as they were. For I was once one of them. He is where he is at. And he is as proud and as in love as I have seen anyone.

  Pope- Here is a tissue.
• 

  Little Drummer Boy

  LDH wrote:

  Why, yes, but you should explain to him that not all "Americans" live in mobile homes at or near poverty level, either. These are the Americans he speaks of that believe that black people shoot up 'everything.'

  Ummmm?...whaaaat?

  I really, really, REALLY hope I am misunderstanding you here. If I read correctly you are saying that if a person has a mobile home and is poor that they are rascist.

  If so then i reitterate....whaaaat?

  What color is the sky in the world you live in? Is it purple with pink polka-dots?

  btw some people choose to live in mobile homes to save money. (like me for instance)

  Does that make me....and I shudder to stoop so low as to type this because I hate the term, but does that make me trailer trash? Just because of what I live in? Just because I am not well off financially?

  sheesh

  If I misunderstood, then I respectfully ask that you enlighten me.

  If you were just joking....it wasn't funny.
• 

  misspeaches

  Sparky a colleague at my work is from Bangladesh. Over the christmas break he is off home to get married. Then he will return to Australia and arrange to have his new wife brought across as well.

  His mother is finding a wife for him. You know this guy is so excited and nervous all at the same time. I really enjoy discussing the topic with him. And he is the sort of guy that will just worship the ground his wife walks on. He's such a kind sweet gentleman. He is also looking forward to giving her the opportunity to live in our beautiful country. As I understand it Bangladesh is not as well off as we are.

  I am very excited and happy for him!
• 

  JWdaughter

  I am happy for your friend. Most of that culture practices marriage where the spouse is chosen by the family-and it seems to work for them in that place, so who are we to say with 'falling in love' and a divorce rate that is so high? I am happy when anyone can find love-not going to question it. Good for them! I hope she is so happy as he is. I hope that her experience in the States is just as positive.