What affect did the Watchtower have on your emotional health?

by The wanderer 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief

    Being raised in the truth I feel that the biggest thing was the abnormal set of coping tools they give youth to deal with their problems.

    Of course, developing friendships is strictly curtailed, monitored even in the truth, and natural friendships with worldlings are difficult if not nonexistent. When stressed or troubled, youth are sent to the elders, who at best are well-meaning but unskilled. Sometimes, they are strict, unforgiving, and then create more problems because they are dedicated to the organization and its reputation rather than the young people's welfare and spiritual development. Even worse, some are just so stupid and unprofessional, immature and warped themselves, that they give in to their emotions and do terrible things. At worst, as we have seen, they are predatory, abusive, and evil.

    So dealing with emotions is difficult for me, even now.

    CZAR

  • itsallgoodnow
    itsallgoodnow

    Depression, guilt, anger, was all out of control. I haven't really left it yet, and I have to really struggle to monitor what's going on inside. when I initially found out about it being a cult, I was so elated but that didn't last long. I didnt think I could get any lower than before, but my anger was really out of control. I think if I had just been able to talk to my family, I could have got it all out and been finished with it by now. Fading turned out to be much more difficult than I imagined. I can talk freely here, but there's something about talking to someone face to face that is so much better. someone on the outside. the only person I can talk to on the outside face to face just tries to get me to join their church and I think that's the only reason they even allow me to talk about any of it. I don't talk to them about it anymore. so now I just have this board. I probably need to see a therapist about it, but they will only tell me what I don't want to hear, that is, that I need to come clean to my family. Well, I'm not ready right now, so I just have to deal with it. I'm really surprised I've been able to deal with it at all and for this long. It's probably one of the most character building things I have ever gone through, and I'm glad I have had to reach inside and find out what I was made of.

    The depression is very much under control, rarely flares up. The anger is slowly subsiding. The guilt feelings rarely haunt me. Though, I still have prolonged periods of anxiety. Probably just a side effect of the double life I've got going here, which is disappointing and more trouble than it's worth most of the time.

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    Fear is the number one emotion that kept me in; fear of loosing all my friends and family, and fear of having no purpose to my life. This is strange as I am fearless in most other aspects of my life.

    http://www.meadowhaven.org/the_problem.htm has an interesting list of problems faced on leaving cults. I went through almost all the following symptoms for six months after being disfellowshipped and still am plagued by some of them

    Why does it matter? ...Impact of Cults

    More important than the exact definition, however, is the damage that can be done to those in an abusive group. According to a study performed by Michael Langone, Ph.D., of the American Family Foundation (AFF), some of the symptoms suffered by former members are;

    Anxiety, fear, and worry

    Feelings of anger toward the group leaders

    Mental confusion

    Vivid flashbacks to the group experience

    Low self-confidence

    Indecisiveness

    Difficulty concentrating

    Loneliness

    Compulsive need to talk about the group

    Despair, hopelessness, and helplessness

    Difficulty thinking critically

    Guilt about things done while in the group

    Troubled by thoughts that can't be gotten rid of

    "Floating" among very different states of mind

    Conflicts with loved ones & family

    A longing to restore certain aspects of group

    Sleeplessness

    Nightmares

    Difficulty finding suitable employment

    Fear of physical harm by the group

    Medical ills

  • Freud
    Freud

    I rejected the wbts 27 years ago. I am 43 last month. It has destroyed or negatively affected my life for 25 years at least. It has destroyed or adversely affected relationships with my blood relations. It has left me empty, negative, depressed, hateful, resentful and vindictive. I have rejected the entire concept of god so that I can empower myself. Thanks WBTS :)

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee

    Well, this question

    What affect did the Watchtower have on your emotional health?

    has elicited some very sad, heart-breaking, disturbing responses. It would make a really thought-provoking news story, fleshed out with real-people's life stories. Being reminded of how much pain YET AGAIN the WTBTS has caused is so sad and depressing. It is HUGE.........there is that feeling AGAIN, that something needs to be done to stop this insanity!

  • juni
    juni

    Good morning Purps.

    you said:

    The other thing is .....just formulating all those thoughts on how I think/thought/used to think is one thing......but verbalizing is another. I can hardly make the word sounds come out of my mouth.

    This is exactly what I experienced - literally. Clinical depression used to be called "nervous breakdown". It is more a "mental breakdown". When you have so much stress you're brain works overtime trying to make sense of stuff. It finally starts shutting down. The reason for wanting to sleep. When you're asleep you don't have to think about stuff, right? Please get help. You'll start feeling better and in time will be able to "cope" w/all that's going on in your life.

    PM me if you want to.

    Love,

    Juni

  • juni
    juni

    BizzyBee said:

    has elicited some very sad, heart-breaking, disturbing responses. It would make a really thought-provoking news story, fleshed out with real-people's life stories. Being reminded of how much pain YET AGAIN the WTBTS has caused is so sad and depressing. It is HUGE.........there is that feeling AGAIN, that something needs to be done to stop this insanity

    If I knew I could do something to stop the insanity I would want to be first in line. You're up against a behemoth of an organization. And one who has many hot shot attorneys. In most countries there is separation of church and state, right? So you've got that issue hindering you.

    Realistically therefore I don't see it happening. I feel the best way is to talk to people here; encouraging new ones to stay around and express their concerns and questions and to feel free to talk with people who do care and will listen and who will have empathy because they shared the same experience or know of someone who did.

    Juni

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee

    I feel the best way is to talk to people here; encouraging new ones to stay around and express their concerns and questions and to feel free to talk with people who do care and will listen and who will have empathy because they shared the same experience or know of someone who did.

    Juni

    Yes, Juni, this is how the WTS will ultimately unravel I'm sure. In the meantime, the heartbreaking waste of lives is sometimes overwhelming.

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