I left the org back in 92 mostly because of my parents and what went on behing closed doors. People thought we were the perfect little JW family yet some close to us knew my parents were off their rocker. I started to have chronic stomach pains and they went away when I left the org. I found that I did some self destructive things to myself when I 1st left, I'll be honest, eating disorder. I did everything to the extreme because I did not know any better. I wanted to experience all. I was angry at my parents for a long time, everything I did was about them. Yet, I realized during this time period that I was self destructive but I still wanted to punish myself because of my parents.
I eventually grew up. I eventually realized I had control (mostly) of what my future would hold and I needed to stop punishing myself. I was a good person, I had the capability of making things better, and I did. The past was the past. It wasn't my fault I was brought up in that org and much time was wasted. I am thankful I got out when I was 18, and not later. My mom, for example, had a very difficult dealing with NOT BEING A JW, severely depressed, to say the least. But, she got through it, it took time.
I could go on and on. It saddens me to think about all those people (including myself) who are so affected by this organization. I know that the org and those who are held by it, is NOT the ocrrect way to live your life. Its too bad, most of us have realized so much later than we should have.
Nikki
