Questions about Dating a Former Jehovah's Witness

by The wanderer 23 Replies latest jw friends

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  reneeisorym

  There is more to a person than their ex-jw past. Finding a person you love and can live with is more important than their ex-jw past.
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  Junction-Guy

  Just about everybody who leaves this cult has damage to some extent. Im sure there are many varieties of XJW women on here, you just need to find someone that matches your personality.
  
  Maybe someday down the road I will meet someone here and start dating again, but as for me, it's gonna take a long time for me to get over Amanda, so I will stay single, and try to enjoy life the best that I can.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Wanderer. Your almost 40 years old. Most likely any relationship you enter at this
  point will involve a chance of receiving damaged goods.

  People are people. There are very few women in your age group (another thread
  shows that you are not interested in those 20 years younger than you) that are
  not carrying baggage. If they didn't ever get married, there's a reason. So what?

  You have issues, you have baggage. I have met plenty of "sisters" who were
  strong-willed and independent. Maybe some are faking submissive qualities to
  attract "brothers." Ex-JW's vary just like other people. I would think someone
  with ex-JW issues would be more understanding of another, but potential mates
  could come from any background or history.

  Go to apostafests and ex-JW meetups. Don't expect to just find an ex-JW, but
  do as you are doing- develop friends among everyone, male and female. When
  people show an interest in you, follow through. I suggest meeting people outside
  of ex-JW interests, also. Get involved in local issues or activities at your favorite
  museum or park, stay busy and people will enter your life.

  I am not looking for a mate, but I hope to start taking my own advice to expand
  my friendships outside the witnesses. It's actually easier for you, not having a
  JW wife to question everything you do.
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  done4good

  It really depends, Rich. Personally, I felt I was better off finding someone who has never had the jw experience. Probably, at first, because I wanted to distance myself as much from the jw mess as possible. In hindsight, I would say it was a good decision, because I have gained insight as to how "normal" people deal with life, by having that close relationship with my, (now wife). In your case, it may be different, inasmuch as you may not have as much of a need for a non-jw "sounding board", the way I did. If I remember correctly, you spent at least some of your life outside the org. before you were in, so that may not be as much as a priority with you.

  OTOH, just as using this site is theraputic and beneficial to getting over the jw hangover, a good fellow ex-jw may very well work out to be worth at least dating. Keep in mind, commitments are NOT required.

  j