A Question about the Shunning Policy

by The wanderer 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • The wanderer
    The wanderer
    During the 1990's

    In either the early or middle 1990's, there was a Watchtower article
    that spoke about not having association with any family members
    who were either disfellowshiped or disassociated living outside of
    the home. Can someone recall anything like this?

    The Sister with Decades in the Truth

    There was a very nice older sister in my congregation that had many
    years in the organization. Recalling her reaction to this article, she
    thoroughly disagreed with the organizations position. She was soft
    spoken, pleasant, and sincere. In short, a down to earth individual.

    The Winds of Change

    To no one's surprise she disagreed with the position because she
    had a number of relatives that fell into one of the categories stated
    above. Eventually, this led to her leaving the organization by dis-
    associating herself.

    The Enemy within our Midst

    Almost overnight, individuals in the congregation turned on her. You
    would think that after 29 years they would at least be sensitive or
    consoling regarding their "sister". It was one of the things about the
    organization that was personally burned into my memory.

    The question is why? Why do individuals in the organization turn
    against such ones because of seeing things from a different perspect-
    tive ?

    Looking back on it now, I find now how psychotic the organization
    really was.


    The Wanderer
  • fullofdoubtnow

    I personally never liked the shunning policy, and my refusal to join in is one of the reasons I am no longer a jw.

    Of all the wts rules, this is probably the most divisive. It destroys families, and even on occasion lives, yet it's supposed to be an act of love. I see it as a hateful act.

  • jaguarbass

    Probably they say she went apostate, like a bad apple.

  • MinisterAmos

    I think you have the MInistry School article from 2002 in mind.

    My wife's twin sister began the shunning after reading that and I encouraged her to re-establish since they are obviously close.

    Bad idea to cave like that, but ultimately I blame the WT for their tactics.

  • moshe

    The question is why? Why do individuals in the organization turn

    against such ones because of seeing things from a different perspect-

    tive ?

    It's human nature at it's worst. It will take some very public trajedy that makes the national news to open the eyes of JW's to the evil nature of their conduct. I just hope, unlike the outcome in Jonestown, that most JW's survive their attempt to leave the organization when they finally come to their senses and decide to stop being abused/controlled by some eldery WT tyrants in Brooklyn,NY.

  • mouthy

    Amen to Moshe

  • sspo

    I'm very surprised that shows like Dateline or 20/20 do not pick up this story of shunning among the JW since it has affected tens of thousands of people thrughout the earth. They've gone after the Mormons a few times but not JW accept on child abuse.

    It would shock viewer of the cruelty of it.

    Anyone has any connections with these guys?

  • esw1966

    I think part of it too is that they are taught that the society is constantly moving forward and that they need to keep up with it.

    When there is a new teaching you have to accept it or be affected negatively by it.

    No one wants to be marked so they jump on the band wagon and point fingers at others before the finger gets pointed at them.

    What a nasty way to live! NOT an environment that creates true friendships, loyalty, and trust.

  • Mary
    The question is why? Why do individuals in the organization turn against such ones because of seeing things from a different perspecttive?

    Because the morons at the top are control freaks and they don't want you looking at anything from a "different perspective". There's a reason why we refer to the WTS as "the Borg" and it's not too far from the truth......I am extremely angry about this stupid rule of theirs right now and it's having a really negative effect on me......I for one refused to shun a family or friend because I do not believe it's Christ like at all.........unfortunately, the term "Christ like" and "the WTS" have absolutely nothing in common.

  • Atlantis

    Kingdom Ministry-2002-8-p.-4 9 Relatives Not in the Household: “The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home,” states The Watchtower of April 15, 1988, page 28. “It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum,” in harmony with the divine injunction to “quit mixing in company with anyone” who is guilty of sinning unrepentantly. (1 Cor. 5:11) Loyal Christians should strive to avoid needless association with such a relative, even keeping business dealings to an absolute minimum.—See also The Watchtower of September 15, 1981, pages 29-30. 10 The Watchtower addresses another situation that can arise: “What if a close relative, such as a son or a parent who does not live in the home, is disfellowshiped and subsequently wants to move back there? The family could decide what to do depending on the situation. For example, a disfellowshiped parent may be sick or no longer able to care for himself financially or physically. The Christian children have a Scriptural and moral obligation to assist. (1 Tim. 5:8) . . . What is done may depend on factors such as the parent’s true needs, his attitude and the regard the head of the household has for the spiritual welfare of the household.”—The Watchtower of September 15, 1981, pages 28-9. 11 As for a child, the same article continues: “Sometimes Christian parents have accepted back into the home for a time a disfellowshiped child who has become physically or emotionally ill. But in each case the parents can weigh the individual circumstances. Has a disfellowshiped son lived on his own, and is he now unable to do so? Or does he want to move back primarily because it would be an easier life? What about his morals and attitude? Will he bring ‘leaven’ into the home?—Gal. 5:9.” 12 Benefits of Being Loyal to Jehovah: Cooperating with the Scriptural arrangement to disfellowship and shun unrepentant wrongdoers is beneficial. It preserves the cleanness of the congregation and distinguishes us as upholders of the Bible’s high moral standards. (1 Pet. 1:14-16) It protects us from corrupting influences. (Gal. 5:7-9) It also affords the wrongdoer an opportunity to benefit fully from the discipline received, which can help him to produce “peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness.”—Heb. 12:11. 13 After hearing a talk at a circuit assembly, a brother and his fleshly sister realized that they needed to make adjustments in the way they treated their mother, who lived elsewhere and who had been disfellowshipped for six years. Immediately after the assembly, the man called his mother, and after assuring her of their love, he explained that they could no longer talk to her unless there were important family matters requiring contact. Shortly thereafter, his mother began attending meetings and was eventually reinstated. Also, her unbelieving husband began studying and in time was baptized. 14 Loyally upholding the disfellowshipping arrangement outlined in the Scriptures demonstrates our love for Jehovah and provides an answer to the one that is taunting Him. (Prov. 27:11) In turn, we can be assured of Jehovah’s blessing. King David wrote regarding Jehovah: “As for his statutes, I shall not turn aside from them. With someone loyal you will act in loyalty.”—2 Sam. 22:23, 26. Nevada-[This might be the article]

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