Hey Sparky
I want you to know that I laughed a lot reading your crazy mom story. My mom is a little nuts too, so I could really relate. She was recently diagnosed as Bipolar II which is basically a "softer" set of symptoms. Her moods swing, just not as far to the left or right. Just far enough to drive me a little bonkers with her. So, not only do I understand your dark humor but I share it. I have vented much of my mother's crazies and my subseqent frustrations into my journal.
My mom is a bit of a hypochondriac too. She also falls for every "miracle cure and tonic" being multi-level marketed at the Kingdom Hall by some other wacked out, hypochondriac sister. The crazies all travel in packs you know. (Before anyone gets on my case about not being PC with the mentally ill, when I was in nursing, I considered specializing in psychiatric nursing. Then I remembered I have my own permanent patient at home!) It is so draining looking after someone who has learned to get attention by being ill. Sometimes, you just gotta get through the day by making up demented jokes and laughing about your crazy family. But underneath the humour, often times I am so tired of it, I just want it to end. Humour covers up a bit of sadness and despair sometimes. So that's why I opted for the words of comfort over the knowing laugh.
Jnat gave some great advice. I'm attempting to set some boundaries with my own mom. The challenge is differentiating the childish, selfish cries for attention from the valid human needs for care and attention. It makes my mom very, very angry when she is called on her manipulative behaviour. She turns from helpless child to verbally abusive, angry woman very quickly. There are abuse issues in her childhood which I firmly believe often trigger or exacerbate mental health issues in many people. There is some empirical evidence to support this claim but I won't list it here. I know from your previous posts that this is an issue in your family as well. You sound like a really strong, survivor, warrior woman. It might be difficult for you to find a mate who is as strong as you and can cope with your mom and your family issues. It is just too overwhelming for some. In the future, you made need to hide your mom until at least the 3rd date, or at least until the man is hopelessly in love. Hell, don't break her out until after the wedding!
Anyway, be assured that your posts are riveting as always. They are just so intense that sometimes there isn't a lot to say after them except, "Wow! Hang in there!"
Cog
