My Experience (become JW and DF)

by windchime 33 Replies latest jw experiences

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  mama1119

  Welcome Windchime. I hope this site is helpful to you!
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  poppers

  Konichiwa, windchime. Welcome to JWD.
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  moshe

  Welcome and Shalom, Windchime.

  I want to hear more about your Japanese Jehovah's Witness experiences.
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  BabaYaga

  Hello, and welcome!
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  windchime

  Thank you everyone. I am very happy to be here. Still I feel my English needs to improve a lot...
  
  Let me continue my story.
  
  I knew I do have to go on the service, even though I didn't like it. I changed my job to a part-time to spend more time in the field or other spiritual activities and ready to go in to pioneer (yet I wasn't baptized nor publisher at that time). My conductor who was special pioneer often used to encourage me to go where demand was great. In Japan young JW who less responsibilies tend to be a pioneer and move to other places. So I felt I had no excuse to avoid, as my mother was JW and my father was unbeliever at that time, but he didn't persecute us, sometimes drove to take us assemblies and conventions.
  After discussion regarding baptize, I couldn't pass it at that time, because my feelings and reply wasn't so confident. I was so disappointed and didn't want to talk about it. At the convention I should have baptized, one sister in my cong. spoke to me inconsiderately that she knew that I failed. I was really shocked.
  After baptizing, I still felt difficulties to go on the service, even though I had a lot of time to spend. I worked for food factory for a few hours in the morning, there were some pioneerings JW co-workers. I didn't like my job, I couldn't do anything quickly and co-workers were so hard on me. I felt I was so alone in my cong. As I mentioned once, sisters near my age they do pioneering and find their own and marry. No boy looked at me, as I was mere a publisher and I had no close friend in the org. I couldn't had any priviledge like clerical work in the cong or Quick Build PJ, because I wasn't pioneering.
  From the viewpoint of household, I felt it was natural to be cautious about JW. I wasn't happy as I belong to org. There were many things and limitation to obey. I didn't want to encourage others to join, even I took it was the very truth. And I felt pioneering is the key to blessing, God would not bless me because I wasn't pioneering with no persecution from my family.
  
  Can I stop here for a while?
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  sspo

  This is what find all over the earth,in every congregation, people judging and critizing you, nothing but another form of pride by looking down on others.

  Galatians 5:25

  If we are living by spirit, let us go on walking orderly also by spirit. 26 Let us not become egotistical, stirring up competition with one another, envying one another.

  6

  2 Go on carrying the burdens of one another, and thus fulfill the law of the Christ. 3 For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he is deceiving his own mind. 4 But let each one prove what his own work is, and then he will have cause for exultation in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person. 5 For each one will carry his own load.

  We know at one time there were 40% of publishers in Japan that were pioneering, do they do it out of love for God or is it nothing but pressure from others?
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  bronzefist
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  juni

  Hello Windchime.

  I sent you a Private Message.

  Juni
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  MidwichCuckoo

  Welcome Windchime - you're very 'readable' - i hope your stay here
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  windchime

  Appreciate for the comments. Ashamed of not being pioneer is one of my background. I sometimes doubt myself that I don't do all I can.
  
  I found a man who was my superior at the office, he came my hometown far from his home, worked until midnight every day. At first, to tell the truth, I didn't want to be under his supervision. It seems that he was considered not very capable man by others. But as working close to him, he worked as much as he could and tried to protect his staff. I decided to do what all I could to support him.
  
  As I was taking care of him too much, I love him. He did knew that I was a JW and the factory we worked for many JWs engaged in. He took my kindness because I was religious person.
  
  Later he confessed me that he loved me and we met private some time. I was so happy that was my first exprience dating and so on, even I was in early 30's at that time. But on the other hand, I was so afraid that Jehovah should have know all the things and someday it would be opened. My conscience pricks me much.
  
  One day I confessed my deed to pioneering sister and PO. Then my parents came to know about it. My father suddenly required me call him in the midnight. I couldn't refuse for fear he would call office to ask his flat. He came my home for me. My father preached him for a few hours and it did hurt him very much.
  
  Actually I had Judicial Commitee twice. As first one, I could avoid DF under condition, separate him including resignation my job. I supported him very much in the office, he begged me don't quit, even he and I won't associate privately any longer. I was so scared to be cut off from my family, congregation and organization I had no choice at that time. (He still blame me about that.)
  
  Yet I couldn't get away from him. I made second confession myself which led to another JC. My mother blamed me since my father couldn't sleep or eat for a few days. Second JC made me DF.
  
  After DF I continued to attend every meeting because I didn't lose faith as a JW. Of course I was in love with him. My parents followed my association since they wanted me to forget him and come back to cong. I felt I lie on a bed of nails when I was at home. Finally we decided to marry and I stopped to attend the meetings because he wanted me not to.