Major Organization Announcement In October

by Arthur 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cicatrix

    Hmm, a major organisation announcement.

    "Happy New (service) Year" to all the JWs;)

  • anewme

    The announcement will be that starting in 2007 all the literature will be printed on toilet paper to be used at the Conventions!

  • DaCheech
    There now will be six meetings a week - a one hour discussion on how to OBEY COMPLETELY

    MY congregation already has this 3 times a year when "a special bethellite or foreigner" makes a "special" talk

  • Arthur

    Want a few more?

    1) A new directive has just come down from the Slave that single Brothers are not to wear any tight fitting underwear, as this could potentially arouse unclean feelings and thoughts.

    2) All Witnesses must now purchase only 4-door vehicles (proper service cars), and that anyone who is purchasing a 2-door vehicle is showing an independent spirit, and will be "marked" by the elder body.

    3) Witnesses are not to eat ice cream cones, as this is a simulation of oral sex; which is unacceptable for Christians.

    4) Cartoons are now unacceptable entertainment for Christian children. Talking animals are a simulation of animals containing supernatural powers; which originated in Babylon.

    5) The Watchtower Society has put a bounty on AlanF's head. Anyone who captures or kills AlanF will be paid $144,000 or will be given a voucher for the free viewing of ten R-rated movies.

  • cognizant dissident
    cognizant dissident


    Is it OK to eat ice cream if we don't lick the cone with "greediness"?


  • Gordy


    I thought your picture above was

    "Elders take tougher line on disfellowshipping"

  • diamondblue1974

    That the WTS has admitted liability in a major child abuse tort action and that as a result wishes to seek a resolution from the congregations to pay an extra £50 per head to cover its costs.


  • Arthur

    A couple more:

    1) Several revisions are going to be made to the current song book. Several of the words will be changed, and can be found on Prince's latest album.

    2) The Society is buliding a floating house in New Orleans for Noah and his family to live in when they are resurrected.

  • Arthur


Share this