What is dating as a JW like

by UFCFan 40 Replies latest jw friends

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  Juan Viejo2

  UFCF - I've heard many young JWs admit to having a "learning disability" that holds them back from making a move away from the Jehovah's Witnesses. Most of those were "home schooled." Is there a pattern there? Or is it just coincidence. This same learning difficulty can also be found in home schooled children of Mormons, Mennonites, and extreme right wing Republicans (USA). Seriously.

  The best thing for you might be to finish your homeschooling as quickly as you can and then enroll in a local community college. Let the counselors there know that you have been so diagnosed and that you have been home schooled. In California (and I assume you are living there) most city colleges have classes specially designed for students like yourself and they are either free or have very low tuition fees.

  As far as dating: make friends with JW girls, but don't date them or consider marrying them. Every single JW marriage I've known that started that way ended up with one or both being very unhappy. There are exceptions, yes, and I've met a few. But jeezus in a pickle jar - you might just as well accept that for a few months of missionary style sex you will live a life of regret that you didn't get out and meet some educated and interesting women who will challenge you as well as engage in enthusiastic love making.

  In any case, don't rush into anything except to maneuver yourself into getting a proper education. My guess is that your "learning disability" will resolve itself in due time as you mature and expose yourself to a real education.

  JV
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  FayeDunaway

  I think you ARE more street smart than can be reasonably expected. A born in home schooled witness that knows ttatt!! You must have done your research AND have been incredibly observant and introspective naturally. Just wanted to say I'm impressed with that. I like juan's suggestion about community college and counselors. First tho try to get into the college you want directly. If that doesn't work because of the disability or whatever circumstances, go the community college route. Just PLEASE don't start a relationship that is dishonest and doomed. At least make sure she knows you have 'serious doubts' about the religion if you ever get the chance and see what her reaction is. If she at all indicates she is a true believer, move on. But DONT put off college.
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  Village Idiot

  UFCFan, If you have a learning disability you will need to put in twice the effort into school. All the more reason to avoid any relationship JW or anyone else. Choose wisely and with a clear head.
• 

  WTWizard

  You will likely be hounded by the hounders to put off the engagement. Instead, they will want you to become at least an assistant hounder, and that by age 23. You are currently well under that, so chances are good they will try and hound you to wait. All a stall tactic to get you hooked into being an assistant hounder. Fail by age 23, no wedding.

  And yes, they want you to do that Israel mission if you are in America. You will be expected to waste the 2 weeks (plus prep time) to get this dangerous connection between America and Israel (presumably so they can fulfill the curses against the people that make up the LIE-ble). Refuse, and they could dissolve your chances of a wedding. They could also pressure your would-be mate into rejecting you if you refuse to do that mission, even if you pious-sneer (which you almost certainly will be expected to do).

  If you are 14 or 15, chances are good that you will be able to get into college with Saturn out of the way. Saturn in Sagittarius is a bad sign for college, and it leaves for Capricorn in late 2017. If you are between 16 and 18, you will have to deal with that aspect. Beware of running up student debt--if you can go without running up debt, especially if you have scholarships to make it relatively inexpensive, you should go anyways. If your window is narrow enough so you cannot wait until the spring 2018 semester (Saturn will be in Capricorn, out of the way, by then), you might be better off going now anyways.

  As for the dates, yes you will be harassed. They have zero tolerance for "fornication", and that includes anything they feel could lead that way. Any unsupervised time together is suspicion of "loose conduct". They will pry into every aspect to make sure you didn't do anything "unclean" by their standards. And your "dates" will likely be endless field circus, boasting sessions, that Israel mission, and who knows what other crap designed for your damnation and that of the whole world. Beyond that, if you marry, you will be expected to raise whatever children you have as jokehovian witlesses. That means no holidays, no vacation fun, endless boasting sessions, endless dragging them in field circus, and pressure to have them baptized as soon as they reach age 6.
  
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  WTWizard

  Additionally, I recommend getting a proper high school education regardless of Saturn's position. Home schooling rarely works, since it is so labor intensive and requires a commitment from parents that jokehovian witlesses almost never have. Even with the Rockefeller rubbish in public schools, your parents cannot provide a properly rounded education. And, even if they could, most of it would be from the washtowel rags and littera-trash. If this means taking high school classes at your local college, take high school classes at your local college. And yes, that does count toward waiting for Saturn to reach Capricorn before starting real college. Which will probably be easier for your extra attention to the matter.
  
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  Garrett

  Man, I second what billy says here "I don't want to come across as belittling your feelings, and I have known plenty of couples that have been together since preteenage. But in my experience, although I had plenty of heartbreak with "sisters", I'm now very glad that I dodged every one of those bullets!*

  I've had a few girls that I liked like me back, and now in my current position I'm happy not to be stuck in that mess...

  Bro, I suggest that you follow your dreams, make something of yourself and worry about the women later. As the saying goes, "there are plenty of fish in the sea".

  I know hormones are strong and all, but you didn't mention whether or not this sister felt the same way for you as you do for her. This plays a huge role in everything as well. Have you told her how you feel about her? When will you? What if she doesn't like you back?

  Peace and best of luck with whatever decision you make,

  Garrett
• 

  DesirousOfChange

  First there is a HUGE difference between 14 and 18. From the plans you express, I'm guessing closer to 18 which makes your planning and your decisions more urgent. Without great grades and without parental support, I see the chances of you going to a university unlikely, unless your grandparents have a nice Trust Fund set up for your tuition costs. Community college is cheaper (prob 25% of the cost) and likely closer to home and does not get all the "red flags" from the Cong watchdogs. (Two-year degree programs are "approved" and so is living at home and commuting to college as long as you continue to maintain [fake] reasonable Field Service time.)

  Also, paying for the first 2 years of Community College is the same as paying income taxes to the IRS for your parents. They can either pay taxes or pay for college because the tuition is nearly a dollar-for-dollar tax credit. (Of course, that assumes that your parents are working and paying taxes. There is no credit for a welfare-mom or extremely low income family that owes no income tax.) Your credits at a junior college will all transfer to any state university.
  

  By 16 or 17 you should have taken your college entrance exams. ACT or SAT. I can't imagine you getting into university without them, unless perhaps it's a state university and you can plunk down the cash for full tuition. (See grandparents Trust Fund above.) Unless you've taken this, you really don't have much of a "plan" in place yet.

  If you truly have a learning disability there are special programs to help for that, but it must be a diagnosed learning disability and NOT some bullshit conjured up excuse for being a home-schooled JW who hasn't really done any real learning nor gotten the equivalent of a High School education. That means you'll need a DOCTOR (psychologist) who says you have a real learning disability (ie, ADHD or dyslexia). You'll be required to take a GED before admittance to college so try taking it ASAP to see your score or at least take trial sample tests online.

  Frankly, the kind of home-schooling that I have seen any young JW get is probably the most severe handicap you will have to overcome to get into a good college. I'd wager you'll need to take several classes at a community college to pass the GED.

  Finally, your plan sounds pretty good until you get to the JW girl part of it. All of us guys can relate to the fact that guys your age tend to think with the wrong "head". There is an immense amount of evidence that many men (of all ages) have insufficient blood flow capacity to supply the needed oxygen for their brain to function when all of their blood has rushed to their penis to support maintaining an erection. (Consider Bill Clinton.) Throwing away or compromising on your long term plans for obtaining a good education for one piece of xxx [edited to: for a young gal who you now think is your soul mate for life] is one of the most stupid moves a young guy can make in his life. This kind of story only makes money at a theater box office, it won't make you a freaking DIME in your future life.

  Nothing ....... yes, NOTHING is more important for getting ahead in life than a good education. Now go do it.

  Doc
  
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  UFCFan

  Yes, the learning disability I have is diagnosed, which is part of the reason I'm homeschooled in the first place.

  I decided what to do, I'll follow my plan if I'm able too, which isn't guaranteed. I have VERY specific career plans and the ONLY schools I want to go to are USC and Wisconsin, if I can't get into either of those I won't go at all. My career plans will most likely still work without college if I move to California but I imagine I'd have to stay home a few years after finishing high school before moving, and if that happens I'll try dating. I know I'd have to pretend to be a Witness and stuff but it doesn't really bother me anymore, I've become good at pretending to be happy at meetings and field service when I'm actually not.

  So either she turns out to be a normal girl like I'm thinking she might, or things won't go well and I'll be moving away soon anyway.
  
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  FayeDunaway

  Are you saying after all our advice and you don't get into the colleges you want, you won't consider junior college? Reread our posts, fanboy. And then read them again.
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  UFCFan

  That's because I'm not wasting four years of my life unless I'm sure it's going to help me become a football coach. The plan is to become a student assistant at USC or Wisconsin and then use that experience to either get a grad assistant job with one of those programs, get a staff job in JUCO or D3, or preferably, get a staff role with one of the big high school football teams in California.