guidlines for dress and grooming as laid out by CO

by bluebeads 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mary
    So the CO visited my cong and at the MS and elders meeting the brothers were told that those wiht parts on the platforms must not have sideburns, mustaches, beards or shaved heads because it is worldly. As well bright colorful dress shirts are not permitted either because it distracts from the "important message" of the talk.

    See?! I was right! The Big Annoucement is going to be about banning coloured shirts for the bros-------again.

    On a totally different topic, I was talking to my mom the other day and she was going on about how free she would be in paradise. I reminded her she would still be with my dad (both are JW's). Some how she has this belief that in paradise Jehovah will abolish their marriage and she won't be a married woman anymore. For the record, they do not get along at all and my mom has endured a great amount of emotional trauma from being married to my dad..i won't get into details. SO she believes that jehovah will answer her prayers and let her be single again in paradise. We got into a huge argument on this and at the end i just bursted out laughing..she's trapped isn't she?

    If she wants out that badly, she should commit adultery, get DF'd, get divorced, then get reinstated. Or, if she has no desire to get married again, she can always get a legal divorce. She won't be DF'd for that, as long as she doesn't sleep with someone else. Problem solved!

  • undercover

    Anyone who would take five minutes and think about it would realize that the CO was overstepping his authority. But out of, say 6 elders and 7 MSs, how many would dare present the references such as the ones Blondie found and say, "I'll follow this counsel instead, Brother CO"?

    Having lived through similar situations, I can attest to the fact that most would not even question the CO but take him at his word as if what he said came straight from the GB.

    One of the moments that I can point to as a beginning of the end for me in the religion happened in an elders/MS meeting with the CO. The CO was reading from the "Organized" book. He picked one or two sentances from a particular chapter/paragraph and was applying it to a new policy or belief. We all had trouble understanding what he was getting at. He acted flustered and impatient with us. He finally told us what to think and believe on the subject. I kept reading and re-reading the entire paragraph to get the context. The context was opposite of what he was telling us. When the MSs were dismissed we gathered in the parking lot to discuss it and I was the only one who dared say that what the CO said was opposite of what the book said. None of the others would dare look it up to see if I was right. They were willing to take the CO at his word because he was...well, the CO.

    And that's how stupid rules like no colored shirts and the like come about...because one man with a little power pushes his own personal opinion and tastes on the congregation(s) and no one dares take him to task about it.

  • blondie

    I have known of elders who did "challenge" the CO's opinion on dress and grooming. Almost all of them had strong contacts on the service desk. They were also not the lone person swinging in the wind either. Other elders would support their position. In each occasion, the service desk rep said that each elder body had the responsibility to make decisions in those areas.

    I have seen elders then elder bodies come out on top of a difference of opinion about footwear for the winter, pierced earrings for sisters, mustaches on brothers, colored shirts, that brothers could only wear black formal footwear on the platform (no slip-ons or brown shoes), only dark suits, only one ring per hand for sisters, no pants under skirts for sisters working d2d in the bitter cold, etc.

    Lately, I have seen that elders that are not company men have been removed or asked to step down more and more. I doubt that elders today have the confidence they did back then to stand up for what they believe. The ones who remain reason that this fool will only be there another 3 years max and then they can go back to what they were doing in the first place or have to adapt to the foolishness of the next CO.


  • tijkmo

    bethelites arent allowed beards

    and they cannot grow a moustache

    but they can keep it if they already had one before arriving...

    unless you are a sister

  • undercover

    I've seen elders stand up to COs as well...but it usually ended up in trouble in one way or another.

    I remember one elder who recorded every talke the CO gave at the hall and then went to someone he knew at Bethel with the recordings to complain at how the CO was beating down the friends. At first you would think...good job, someone to stand up to a bully. But actually it was one bully who was trying to undermine another bully. The elder was a bully elder who liked to push his own agenda and he was being harshly treated by the CO as well and he was just trying to get rid of him so he again would be big man on the block.

    The ones who remain reason that this fool will only be there another 3 years max and then they can go back to what they were doing in the first place or have to adapt to the foolishness of the next CO.
    That was the thinking of 98% of the elders that I knew. Even if the CO was a tyrant or whatever, if was in their best interest (they thought) to just humor him and he'll be gone in two or three years.
  • Elsewhere
    ..she's trapped isn't she?

    No. She can just go down to the court house today and file for divorce.

    If she chooses to stay in an abusive relationship, that is her decision... not the decision of elders or anyone else who has been talking to her.

  • Dismembered

    Did he make mention of abstaining from the high crotched, one-size-fits-all polyester trousers we all wore in the 70's.

    We used to have an idiot who got dressed in a tuxedo, ruffled shirt and all, and bow tie (I'm not kidding) God finally made him an "elder".


  • fullofdoubtnow

    My cong was very anti - beard as well, and they weren't happy if anyone had sideburns, the brothers that did tended to be overlooked for appointments, no matter if they were exemplary jws in other respects.

    When my bf was just about ready to leave, he grew a small beard, although he doesn't personally like them, just to annoy the elders. He was privately counselled that he wouldn't be giving any talks, and instructed not to go in the fs, until he removed it.

  • linabean

    hi, are any of you active jws?

  • blondie

    Hi linabean.

    Some of us are, some are inactive, some are DA'd and some are DF'd. Some never were baptized but were raised JWs. Some are married to JWs.


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