Let's see. No sports in school or the community, even if you were very good at it, even if you enjoyed it, and even if you were a "fat kid" and it might have done you some good.
No afterschool or extracurricular activities at all. This means no trying out for parts in a play, and in fact no even going to plays put on by the school outside of school time because there will be too much worldly association. No afterschool clubs or hanging around wordly kids after school. No school dances either even when they were in school time because I'm sure elementary school dances leads to loose conduct and all that..
No choir or band unless they are in class and part of the curriculum. No trips even if they are part of the curriculum because of bad association. And of course if they are doing holiday music or patriotic songs you couldn't take part in that.
No holiday activities. Leaving the room when a classmate had "happy birthday" sung to them, or sitting out while they played birthday games. No coloring Santa or making an Easter Egg basket. Having to go to the library for Veteran's/Memorial/Remembrance day and being the only one not wearing a poppy.
Having to make excuses for why you can't go to your school friend's houses until they think that you don't like them and stop asking you to do anything or choosing you first for a partner etc. In fact if you didn't have school friends at all that showed you were an even better example. When I finally left and was at a worldly party for the first time it was the weirdest feeling ever. I knew these people, I recognized them and yet the entire thing felt very surreal. And there was none of the debauchery I had led to believe was the thing of the world, it was just good fun and not having too worry that something I said might reveal I wasn't a true believer anymore.
Then there was the national anthem. It has taken me forever to conquer the instinctive heart racing, wanting to throw up, dizzying panic I felt as soon as I heard please rise or any other such introductory phrase. And the entire set of symptoms that continued through the entire song and only started to ebb 5-10 minutes after it was done. In third grade the national anthem was played every morning so that we could all learn it properly and of course whether you participate or not learn it you did. My mother used to tell me to try and hum kingdom melodies so it wouldn't get in my head but that never worked. In sixth grade we got a new principal and he decreed it would be played every morning AND every night and we were now to learn the French version as well. So now I know two sets of lyrics which are both "forbidden" by JW standards and go through the ordeal twice per night. And of course it was played at assemblies as well. One of the proudest moments of my life was singing the national anthem at my grade 12 awards ceremony while some of the JWs were out of the room and the rest were sitting. Even though I choked several times because of nerves I managed to get through the whole thing, bilingual parts included. I still get a reaction every time it's played but it's starting to calmn down now. Once I had a teacher bodily drag three of us JW kids up because we were sitting during the national anthem. And another time I had a teacher whispering in my ear during the ceremony for not singing.
If you got through all that there was the fact that we were always always out of "style". JW clothes were neat, clean and ultimately made you stand out like a sore thumb. And you didn't stand out in a "unique and original style" sort of way, you stood out in a clueless hick moves to the big city sort of way. Even having second holes in your earlobes was considered bad here. As well as using too much makeup and fadish haircuts.
Then there were classmates talking about the latest movies they'd seen, their favorite bands, tv shows, video games. And of course whatever was in was somehow bad so again you were an outsider with nothing to talk about to them.
Seeing kids come back with $500 dollar christmas presents and trying to pretend you weren't deprived was tough too. The "we get presents at other times of year" was nice to say but lots of JW kids I knew didn't and the ones that did quite often got a $20 gift certifcate and a pat on the head not a new Playstation with six games. I have to say I was compensated rather well with candy for not having halloween, but I loved dressing up as a kid and I would have enjoyed trick or treating immensely. By the time I left I was too old.
Then there is the cluelessness. There seems to be so many unwritten rules of gift giving. The whos, the how muches, the when to opens, the what to buys. I still find holidays and birthdays very awkward for this reason. Unwritten social rules as well that just seem to mark you as different, even years later.
Then there comes the idea of employment. When you are in school you have Saturday, Sunday and from say 4pm-10pm for work availability maybe as a student. Throw in a meeting sunday morning, service saturday morning, and sacrifice 2 nights a week. Now compare that to a kid who is available the entire time slot and who are they going to hire? Small job pool, lots of students. Guess what it's hard to find work. I put up with a lot of people saying I was lazy, stupid and worthless because when I would try to find a job I couldn't. It has taken me 2 and half years to finally have some confidence that things will work out and I can find employment when I need it.
I remember having to carry my blood card everywhere with me. And being embarrassed when it said JW on my medical records. I wore a fanny pack when we went skiing with the class and people kept asking about it and it was very awkward. Then there were school barbecues where I couldn't eat hotdogs with everyone else because they might have blood in them. Mom would send "good" hotdogs for me to have cooked but that would have made me look even more weird..so I just told people I was allergic to hotdogs and lived off the potato chips and pop. Sometimes I'd eat a bun with ketchup on it because I was hungry and if I stood far enough away people thought I was eating a hotdog and not as weird.
Mostly I remember just feeling clueless and out of place all the time. As if no matter how hard I tried I would always be different, would never fit in. I never knew what they were talking about, or else I never knew the way they talked about it.
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On finding out it wasn't real? Disbelief at first of course. I mean I was raised from birth knowing I had the one true faith and belief and that we were all somehow superior. That if we had to deceive people into becoming witnesses that was okay because ultimately we were doing the right thing. Then of course there was a deepseated insecurity that shook me right to the bones because all of a sudden where there were answers there were none and everything had to be rethought. Of course that led to confusion because of how much there was out there to think about and ponder and ultimately incorporate into myself. Then there was the anger at what a load of crap it all was and like a house of cards it came tumbling down.
If you have specific questions or want me to clarify anything feel free to PM me and I'll be happy to help any way I can. This goes for anyone not just the OP.
