Family moving; Need input

LtCmd.Lore

I'm in a family of five and we are planning on moving, However... I'm going to DA myself shortly after finishing school. I want to wait because I won't be 18 'till April and could therefore be forced to attend the meetings. (I'm going to them now anyway but I don't want to have to go as an outsider.)

So here is the issue, they are looking for a house that can comfortably fit five people, we have found several great houses that would work wonderfully for four people, but we are going the long and expensive way so that we can fit all of us comfortably. I feel kind of guilty because I could save them a heck of a lot of trouble if I just tell them that I'm going to move out ASAP anyway, but I don't want to do that untill I can tell them why, since my dad has every intention of having us kids live there for years and years. Heck he's even thinking about making my sisters room bigger so that if she gets married they can both live there... whatever...

It's not that I want to make it easy for them to kick me out, in fact if they do kick me out I don't care how hard it is on them. But I do intend to tell them sometime around June next year, and then move out around September when I get the money to rent an apartment... if they don't kick me out first.

I'm not asking you to make the decision for me, but I do want some ideas and opinions.

Warlock

Why can't you just tell them you will share a room with someone if they can only find a good house for 4 people? That way, you don't put them in a bad position now ,or later.

Warlock

BlackSwan of Memphis

You could just be a little honest and tell them that you would really like to move out on your own once you graduate.
If they are shocked or concerned, just tell them that while you really love your family, you want to be on your own.

juni

That's a good suggestion Warlock. You might want to PM (Private Mail) or "Send Message" to RicheyRich or KW13. They are 18 and 17 respectively. Perhaps they can give you some insight. Just click on their name and then hit "Send Message". Need any other help, just ask, o.k?

Best to you.

Juni

Double Edge

You might use a similar phrase such as:

"I'd go for the 4-bedroom house....with 18-year olds everything is up-in-the-air with regards to life changes. School, employment, marriage (hehe), etc. I could be there a couple of years, or a couple of weeks....who knows where life's going to lead me"....

that throws the ball back in their court as far as making a decision that makes sense..... it will get them thinking, that way you're off the hook. If they come back wanting specifics from you, just be non-commital with:

"No decisions have been made, I'm just saying that 18 is a pivotal point in most people's lives...everything's up in the air...you've got to make your decision on what the home will be 5-10 years from now, not just when I turn 18."

jgnat

You guys all have better advice than me. I figure if dad is so dense to think his entire family is surrounding him for the next twenty years, he deserves to go the expensive way. Don't worry. He can turn your room in to a study after you leave. Or it can go to one of your sister's husbands. ... yeah right.

But it is nicer to volunteer to double up. Are you the oldest?

limbogirl

I agree with jgnat (as usual :) -- have 'em get the bigger house so your poor sister will have more room when she and hubby end up living with your parents. I've known several witness families that have strict rules about when their kids can leave home -- sometimes well beyond twenty years old (more for the daughters than the sons). I had a friend who finally left home and got an apartment at 27 and her dad had a fit because he had a rule that she had to live at home until marriage. Good luck!

uwishufish

Do you have plans to go to college? My daughter turned 18 on 3/15, she left for her dorm this weekend. School is close but to far to comute.

My thought is, a dorm provides shelter and they usually come with a meal card good for 16-19 meals a week.

This is a great way to leave home. Food Shelter and an education.

Maby the school guidence councilor could help with school plans.

uwishufish

Another question. Is your family moving a long distance?

When I was your age, my parents moved 2000 miles, TN - CA. This made it a great deal easier to leave the borg. No DA just a fade.

UWUF

LtCmd.Lore

Acctualy we are moving CLOSER to our current KH... I'm 2 years younger than my sister, I'm the middle child. I'm thinking I'll just keep my mouth shut. It wouldn't kill them to have an extra room.

But if it's going to put a serious financial strain on us I might go for the share a room idea.

Family moving; Need input

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