My husband is smoking pot

by jurs 70 Replies latest jw friends

  • jurs
    jurs

    I know this is not witness related but I just caught my husband smoking pot. I am so upset !!! He is an alcoholic and has a terrible temper. Now this. We have 2 kids and one just started middle school. What kind of an example is that?? I know some of you are into drugs but I totally hate them. I had a drug problem some years back before I was a witness and I don't think I can put up with this. I just left the org in May and it seems like I have a whole new attitude where I don't want to put up with anymore shit. I find nothing more disgusting than talking to some stoned blubbering idiot. We use to do alot of coke together before I became holier than thou and it was nice to live a clean straight life.
    All I've ever wanted was the "leave it to beaver family." I never had it as a kid and I thought I could have it when I became a JW. Wrong.... Alcoholism sucks.... Drugs suck..... I'm tired of being married to someone so weak......... I feel so trapped.

    jurs

  • Deacon
    Deacon

    jurs
    Im sorry. Right now just take a deep breath, and try and breathe easy.
    This is a problem that you have had experience of, and you know the nature of addictions.

    You will need to make a few decisions. Whether to stay or go, what to do about the children...and you will need to talk with a professional in your area. AA or SMART for the alcohol, and drug counselors for the other.

    Living with an addict is not easy..it fills every moment of your time ...just wondering...but..you know this was there and its not something new.

    Sort your decisions out first..take all the time you need...Then talk with him, talk with your family..his family...and go from there..

    So sorry Jurs..

  • TR
    TR

    jurs,

    Sorry about your problems. If your husband is doing drugs, is an alcoholic, and won't get help, you need to leave for your sake and that of your kids. Period.

    TR

    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
    —Edmund Burke

  • claudia
    claudia

    Pot smoking doesnt generally make people act like assholes. a drunk however.......... I have been with a pot smoker for many years, I have not had the problems that my friends have with husbands who are drunks.

  • Andee
    Andee

    Jurs,

    I'm so sorry to read of your troubles.

    Just ask yourself one question:

    What is in the best interest of my children?

    Then do that.

    Andee

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    jurs,

    The facts about your choices are clearly simple:

    1) Stay with him
    2) Leave him

    If you choose the latter, then mostly, your problems are over.

    If you choose the former, then there is much work to do.

    Only you know the situation and the right choice to make. We know nothing about your situation. May the force be with you, jurs.

    Farkel

    "When in doubt, duck!"

  • SlayerLayer
    SlayerLayer

    I have an aunt that left her husband because he smoked weed. Yet she drank. In my opinion drunk people are worse to be with than stoned people. My opinion on drugs is no secret here. Ask yourself why you are so upset by it? Is it the legal aspect of it or is it just because it's weed? Society says marijuana is bad, yet alchohol is ok. Makes no sense to me at all.

    Personally, I can't imagine leaving my spouse for any reason. Especially for smoking weed. Is your husband lighting up a joint and smoking it right in front of your kids? That, I could understand pissing you off. If not, then maybe you should re-think things. The leave-it-to-Beaver lifestyle is not for everyone. Did you ask him if that was the kind of life he wanted when you married him? Or did you know he enjoyed these things then? If so, then how can you be surprised now?

    Sorry for my attitude, but I just don't see the justification for letting this ruin a family. Especially with what's going on in the world, breaking up your family over weed just seems petty and stupid.

    Slayer

  • Spartacus
    Spartacus

    Hey I smoke pot and hardly drink alcohol. I've been married for 19 years. My wife does not smoke pot but she does not worry that I do. We have a great relationship. We have 2 kids who do not know I smoke pot. I smoke every other day or 2 or 3 times a week. Pot is a lot milder than alcohol/spirits, you can't overdose on it or lose your motor skills on a average high. A high wears off faster than a drunk. Pot is not a killer of innocent people on highways, alcohol is. Don't buy in the hipe, calm down. If your husband smokes pot his drinking will come to a trickle. Observe him, smoking pot moderately will chill out his violent acting out. But like anything else pot can be abused. Even so he won't be a drunk ass!

    I hope this helps, Spartacus

  • Jools j
    Jools j

    no one ever broke up a fight between people stoned on dope. bar-room fights, however, happen as often as you know they do.
    pot is not as bad as alcohol. think of it as a mild sedadtive. i'm against all other drugs. this is JUST _my_ opinion.

  • JW72
    JW72

    The big difference between POT and ALCOHOL is that society can do a pretty good job of protecting kids from alcohol, you can generally only get it from shops with I.D for example. Also the affect of alcohol on kids can leave them feeling pretty rough, and they may not go back to it, for a while at least.

    With Dope, you don't know where they can get it from, you can't control it. Dealers actually target kids, it's sick. I also believe that dope in kids' hands is VERY DANGEROUS, it can totally alter their outlook on life, can reduce their ambition, and can depress them. At their vital stage of schooling, this can be a disaster!!

    However, it almost reverses as you get older, alcohol becomes more the problem, and it's not so bad for an adult to relax in their own privacy and smoke a joint in a controlled manner.

    I have gone through a period of smoking pot at university but realised that it wasn't a good time to do it, I needed to be focused at that time in my life, maybe when I'm older I'll have some now and again.

    Does anyone else agree that I am 100% right, yet again!

    I could write alot more but I want some breakfast!

    Good luck Jurs, sorry I can't offer advice on YOUR situation.

    Love

    Chris

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