Is the first year really the hardest?????

by mama1119 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • mama1119

    I have been married a year and a half, and everyone says the first year is the hardest. Well, the crappyness seems to be creeping right on into the second year. I thought it was suppossed to get easier each year. Is this a falsehood?? Does anyone have any encouraging thoughts about the next years or should I throw in the towel now???


  • sspo

    My first 10 years were good and then the last 15 not so good.

    I don't know if there is a formula


  • purplesofa

    dont have any more kids if you feel like you do now!

  • mama1119

    Purplesofa---ITS TOO LATE!! We already have a 3 year old and another on the way, and believe me, I already feel like I have two kids...

  • Gregor

    I'd like to be encouraging but I respect the fact that I know nothing of the details of your situation enough to start giving advice. Rule of thumb, if he is verbally or physically abusive, get out.

    "There are a million stories in the Naked City" you are one of them.

    And, of course, it goes without saying (but I like to say it anyway) "There are a million titties in the naked story"

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    My wife and I are going on our 3rd year this November, I think I'm the problem in our relationship, we don't really fight or anything I'm just too grumpy

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Wifey and I just marked 32 years of success.

    I never felt the frustrations you seem to be expressing at such an early point in the marriage. But some have and survived.

    It's an individual story with everyone. Sounds like you are saying that immaturity on his part is one issue. Address that soon, kids lives are in the balance,


  • mama1119

    No physical or verbal abuse. He is just very irresponsible, somewhat lazy, immature and generally annoying. We did get married in unusual circumstances, long story, thought it was for the best, maybe it will be someday, but right now, feels like a mistake.

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    how old is he? is he a mamas boy?

  • mama1119

    He is 29, and YES he is a Mama's boy. Runs to her for everything and then pretty soon I get a phone call from her....She has done everything for him sice the day he was born. He has never had to take responsibility for himself becasue she will. If he, God Forbid, has to work more than 40 hours a week, I sure enough, get a phone call about it, as if its my fault. Or, if I ask him to do stuff around the house, she will call and remark about how hard he has been working and he is so tired and his poor back etc....

    But I also think he is INCREDIBLY selfish (uh-oh, now Ive started venting). He always has his comfort in the fore front of his mind, and everybody else is a distant second. I find that very difficult to live with, because we have a duaghter and another on the way, and this family is my absolute life. My daughter is always my first concern, and I don't understand putting yourself ahead of your kids. Is that a Mom thing???

    I really just want him to step up to the plate, be a man, all that stuff. Don't know what it is going to take.....

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