just feeling the pain

by lesterd 14 Replies latest social relationships

  • lesterd

    Long story, will get to the end. Did it all as a JW, married a pioneer, both multi generation witnessese, DA ourselves 15 years ago, shunned by all our families and life long friends. Lost her six years ago to cancer, she made a last minute return for the "love" of her family, so I lost her too. Her father, who was the only dad I had known my adult life passed away last night he was 95. The pain is I cant go to the funeral and it brings home the whole asbense of true Christain love that organization is lacking. I always knew there was no natural affection, when with one breath they say have a enought love to die for your brother, but then cast him out if he makes a human mistake with the next breath. I had never felt that blockaid in returning to Jehovah before, first blocked by the ones on earth that are supposed to love you then blocked by the organization. From my experiense on this web site I see so cleaarly WHY th WTBTS does not want anyone who has been OUT back in. We pose too big a threat to thier little kingdom. But it still hurts, it was a life time for me. The mistrust of everyone but JWs that brainwashed into you has kept me pretty much to myself. Those still in that organization that dont shun DAs are the ones I still associate with, carefully giving them the knowledge and courage to get out.

    Thanks had to get that off my chest.

  • parakeet

    ***Her father, who was the only dad I had known my adult life passed away last night he was 95.***
    I'm very sorry for the loss of your father-in-law. It's obvious you still have love for those still in the org; it's a tragedy for them and for you that they don't feel the same love in return.

  • lovelylil


    I am so sorry for your loss and the frustration you are going through. I can understand your pain. My parents were not Witnesses but I missed out on a lot of holiday celebrations and birthdays with them and they could never understand why. The WT put a wedge between us and it stayed there up to their deaths of cancer a year apart from each other. It was after they died that I realized what a sham the tower was. Now, I can never go back and make up for lost time with them. I feel pain from that a lot.

    The WT is an evil organization - by sharing our stories, like you just did, will help keep others out in the beginning. If all who left can keep one person out, together we can bring down the tower - one brick at a time.

    Peace be with you, you will be in my thoughts and prayers today. Again, I am really sorry for your loss. Lilly

  • Genesis

    Im very sorry for you ! You are strong to deal with all these things. Fortunatly in the real world there will always be real loving people to get along with you.


  • fullofdoubtnow


    I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.

    You will be in my thoughts


  • Fleur

    I'm so sorry (((((((hugs)))))) I know that kind of pain, I felt something similiar when my grandmother (who was the mother of my heart) passed away a couple years ago.

    If it's any small solace to you my friend...going to the funeral wouldn't likely bring you any comfort. All JW funerals are the same, and very mucn infomercials...so little is said about the person.

    My advice? Do something significant to remember him in your own way. Visit his grave if you can, if it would bring closure. Get a few friends together to support you, go to a park or other pretty place, and say goodbye in your own way. Talk about him. Post here.

    You are not alone in this kind of suffering, and I hope that knowing that will help at least a little. JW's can be so heartless.



  • damselfly

    You can hold your own remembrance ceremomy for him, you don't need a kingdom for that.

    Sorry for your loss.......

  • lowden

    Hey Lesterd

    It's a crazy mixed up and perverted world inside the JW faith and you have experienced and are experiencing just that!!

    Peace and Strength to you in this difficult time.


  • tijkmo

    sorry for your loss

    but why are you unable to go to the funeral..

    do you think you are not allowed...or has someone told you you wont be welcome...cos either way i would ignore it...unless it is specifically a private affair then no-one can stop you..

    i would go

  • LovesDubs

    If you have a picture of him sweetie, put a little memorial ad in the paper for him from you. They CANT stop you from doing that! :)

    He knows you loved him. And thats all that matters.


Share this