How do you say good-bye?

by hambeak 31 Replies latest social relationships

  • hambeak

    My doctor called me today and told me I have a very aggressive case of colon cancer. I go back on Monday for more tests and maybe surgery and chemo I don't know. My partner is a total mess over this and he is all I have. I am all he has. He is angry I am posting this but I told him maybe someone will understand the loneliness and the fear of all the crap we have been indoctrinated with over the years.

    Thanks all


  • outoftheorg

    Sorry to hear this Hambeak. Cancer of the colon is one cancer that usually is taken care of with a good amount of success.

    It usually involves surgery and has a high recovery rate. Don't give up now, because you will need to go through a few tough times either way if it is terminal or not.

    This sort of thing is very frightening no matter who you are or what you have had to go through before.

    Being a total mess in a situation like this is not unusual. It is a normal response to an incident that we would all be upset and confused and angry.

    Life is difficult no matter who we are or what we face. No one gets a free ride in life. I guess just hang in there and support each other, do some plans for the future to handle this illness and the results what ever they may be.

    If there are some trips or any other thing that you planned, try to do them now and enjoy what you can do today and consider the use of chemo and or you'r quality of life with or without chemo and the expected life span if this a terminal illness.

    You may decide to omit the chemo and enjoy the time you have left. Or take the chemo and hope for the best.

    Take care of each other and show your love by actions. This will be a difficult thing to go through.

    I know. I just went through it with my wife.


  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Gary, I am so sorry to hear this. I don't know you, but I do know what it's like to lose someone you love. Your partner seems to have already begun a grieving process. Anger is part of it, even if it's only directed at what you're doing right now. Be kind to him.

    I hope that the radiation and chemo can take care of this for you. Don't say good-bye, unless you can no longer manage the keyboard. We'll be here for you. Keep us posted and hang in there. We'll be here for you to support you through this.



  • willy_think

    (((( garry ))))

    I wish there was somthing i could say. i will be thinking of you and praying for you. too much bs is right! life is about love we have only time to love. I love you. i know it sounds odd but I do, I feal love for you. I hope so very much every thing works out.


  • agapa37


    My heart goes out to you and those who love you.

  • Arthur

    Hey Gary,

    First of all, thanks for opening up to us and sharing this part of your life with us. I'm sorry to hear about the emotional difficulty that this is puting you and your partner through. I just wanted to give you some encouragement and let you know that I have personally known people who have beated colon cancer. But hey, anybody in your shoes is going to be worried. Who wouldn't be? It's understandable.

    We are all rooting for you. We are here for you. Keep in touch with us and let us know how things are going. Take care, and best of luck to you, friend.

    With warmest regards,


  • okie46

    Hambeak... Oh my gosh, I am so sorry for you and your partner. Don't give up. Please explore all of your treatment options and keep us posted as to how you are doing. We are all rooting for you to win this battle.

  • jgnat

    Why good-bye? You're not considering ending it, are you? I've been surprised by some discouraged members of the board who were closer to thoughts of suicide than I could have ever imagined. Such a possibility terrifies me. You are doing okay? Well, as well as can be expected.....?

    I hope they catch it all and that you have a swift recovery.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once


    Living or dying, it is the being alone that is the most tragic thing. You have someone who loves you. I wish you great strength and your lover the wisdom to fight for you and not with you.


  • lisavegas420

    How scary....

    My thoughts are with you Gary and the ones that love you. I'm glad you two have each other for strength.

    Keep us posted on your condition.


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