Mark and I are discussing moving and a change in our lives.
Mark and I are at our wits end, it almost feels like being ran over by a truck on life's highway. It just seems to hit all at once, ya know?
If your home is a good thing for you, wait to make the decision on whether to keep it until after you get things straight and can breathe again. If you're not that happy where you are, a change could do you a lot of good. "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." John Lennon
Life takes us on so many journeys we never expect to take. I heard someone speaking about change in life, the other day. She said that loss/change gives us opportunity to go places we didn't expect and to expand and to grow. She said most of us cling to the present and cause ourselves a lot of pain. We can ease that pain by seeing the upcoming changes as an adventure and of growth.
I understand as I have been through similar things in my past with the house my exhusband, a brother, and I owned. He still owns it. We nearly lost the house twice. It was advertised in the paper under auctions and we didn't know it until a sister called to inquire about it. We knew were going to be forclosed on, but not that it was in the local paper. Money from my relatives, twice, saved the house. Our Mortgage Co. wouldn't let you pay the payment a month late. You had to catch up all that was due or get further and further behind.
I gave him the house in the divorce. I got $7000 from it. He turned around and refinanced it and got $70,000 and there was not a thing I could do about it. The huge family room I had begun with my inheritance from my mother, well it was unfinished when our divorce happened. Now it's finished. I did get to sit in there for a few minutes once, since the divorce. He changed my bay window seat, a childhood dream of mine, to a flat wall and double window. How nice. I had wanted the room finished for my kids to entertain in during their teens. That never happened.
My point is: I'm happier these days. Now I rent. I have a nice, sunny two bedroom apartment in a completely different region of the country, with a different partner. I have a bay window in the livingroom, no seat, but it's big enough to display my birdhouses, Frog King and colored glass plant spritzers that are shaped like animals. I don't have any pictures up yet, due to the stress of the past year we've lived here. The amazing thing though is that everyone who walks in here remarks how cozy my home is. It is the light, the air and the spirit here, rather than the decor.
We've spent the entire year struggling with unemployment issues, both Andy and me and he is FINALLY back to work this week. After a year. My store closed in Feb of this year and since then I had one grandson come to live here and just got his five year old brother. The grandson story has been horrendously sad and stressful, but for now, they are safe with us. I haven't worked since Feb., but I may be able to go back to school when they do.
Andy likes his job better than the one he quit a year ago. I noticed this morning that we weren't deeply worried for a change. Through all this, we have never run to zero in either of our accounts and we've always had food to eat. Somehow, money always came through. It wasn't savings. I had used the last of my divorce settlement to get this apartment, so I could help my grandsons.
It's hard for you to see the dawn breaking there on the horizon, but it already is. You're probably going to like your life better in the next years. And you will look back and wonder how you ever doubted it for a moment, that the contentment would come. Contentment is more attainable than happiness anyway. Move towards contenment. There really is a morning after.