I don't think that I went 'boing' (using Blondie's analogy) when I left... I till don't smoke, don't drink that often - never did - I may cuss a bit more, now...
Although, I _did_ grow a beard for 6 months...
I like the 'calculator' analogy... let's change that a bit. Wherever they use the word 'calculator', let's replace it with 'pencil' and see how it reads.
"For one thing, having a pencil is going to involve some money, time and attention. How much would you use it? In your case the few occasions when you would really be helped by having a pencil might not justify the cost, even with the recent low prices."
"Also, it will take you some time to learn how to use a pencil. You will have to think about repairs if it breaks. And what about getting erasers for it periodically if it is of the type that requires such?"
Really sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Hmmm... *thinking to self* one could also replace the word 'calculator' with 'dildo'... oops! Sorry. Did I type that outloud?