Who would tell 9/11 survivors to just get over it?

Swan

Maybe the same people who post on this board and tell us to just get over it. I get so tired of them dismissing our experiences and trauma by saying "Why do you have to tear Jehovah's organization down? Just get over it and move on!"

Can you imagine telling a 9/11 survivor this? "Hey, why are you depressed? It's been 5 years now. You should just get over it and move on. It was traumatic, but it couldn't have been that bad! You've had long enough. Quit holding a grudge against the terrorists, talking about them all the time, and always tearing down their organization. Time to get out of your funk and get on with your life. Just snap out of it!"

Why is someone's trauma socially acceptable and some other person's trauma not. If both are suffering the affects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, then how can anyone judge one person's trauma as legitimate and the other person's as holding a grudge or just being lazy?

Tammy

Arthur

I get so tired of them dismissing our experiences and trauma by saying "Why do you have to tear Jehovah's organization down? Just get over it and move on!"

I agree with you Tammy. There is a word for people like that. It is apologist. I think that many ex-JWs still can't bring themselves to see the org for what it really was, or they can't bring themselves to criticize it because of fear of the organization. Somehow, they think that they will not invoke Jah's wrath if they don't say bad things about His "spiritual temple".

You know, I have come to realize that the verbal attacks toward the WTS on this site are quite normal and to be expected. I have been reading Steve Hassan's story of how he was indoctrinated into the Unification Church (Moonies), and then later got out and deprogrammed. He describes his behavior and fellow ex-members as temporarily being "obsessed" with the Moonies, and wanting to get involved in exposing them. Hassan engaged in protests, letter-writing campaigns, and thousands of hours of volunteer work to educate the public about the Moonies. He and others were very angry for a time. I'm sure that some people would have accused him of just wanting to attack the Unification Church, but they did not realize that this was an important step in recovery.

I don't pay much attention to those trolls who say that we are just "crybabies" or that we are just indulging ourselves in self-centered bitterness. They are obviously naive, and too uneducated to fully realize what this site is all about and why we do what we do.

I told one such troll to get off of his soap box and quit trying to evangelize to us as if we were Sunday school children. I never heard back from him. He made about a whopping 10 total posts while here, and I don't think he's comming back.

Twitch

A controversial statement and subject to say the least,....

Speaking on the subject line, I attended a speech by a fireman of the 911 crisis a couple years ago. He had a rather moving picture slideshow of the event and spoke on his experience as a survivor. Of course there were political and social points that he had made but the point that stuck with me was how as much as he gained from sharing his experinence, he felt that every time he related it, he was reliving it all over. He said that what he had done was enough and that he had appreciated it but that it was time to move on with his life. It struck a chord in a sense.

Perhaps it's apples and oranges but then again, i didn't post the topic,....

PaulMarshall

Hi Tammy.

I was discussing this very topic with a friend I have made via this site only this morning. It is frustrating that people who have not experienced what we have experienced, have no or little understanding of the legacy it tends to leave us. In getting over any trauma, the way forward is by educating oneself, learning about the subject matter, making sense where possible and moving forward in our own time, and in our own ways. Trauma is trauma. Isolation is isolation. The very fact that we have all gravitated to the soothing shade of this site proves that. It is not in our imagination.

I for one have to say I have defiantly moved on since interacting with people (ex dubs) who do understand what goes on inside my head! Not an easy process…. It has done me the world of good. I am still the same person, but I do live with myself a little easier these days. I am stronger generally and I am doing my best to make the correct life choices you don’t learn how to do when growing up in the organisation.

Keep strong Tammy.

Your friend Paul

Big Tex

Why is someone's trauma socially acceptable and some other person's trauma not. If both are suffering the affects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, then how can anyone judge one person's trauma as legitimate and the other person's as holding a grudge or just being lazy?

The worst scars, the most long lasting and painful, are those that are never seen but felt. There is no way to describe to someone what it's like to wake up in a panic in the middle of the night, or feel the icy cold memory of a hand on your chest or even what it's like to have night after night of screaming nightmares.

I've learned that there are some, many in fact, where it is pointless to even discuss the topic. I haven't decided if those people are in such a stunning level of denial or are in fact guilty of harming others intentionally. Either way, it's best to disconnect quickly and move on.

BlackSwan of Memphis

swan, the people that do that are people who have either a)never been through it themself or b) people who have been through it but haven't been as deeply affected as others and believe that everyone should deal with trauma and/or grief the same way they should, which may or may not be healthy anway.

Lady Lee

Just like many traumatic experiences there are stages that people go through. But few understand the process.

When the abuse issue started to be discussed seriously in the late 70's and early 80's few people understood the PTSD that resulted from abuse. But as the researchers soon discovered people go through the same stages of recovery that those who are dying experience. Denail is top of the list for almost everyone.

I noticed in my work with abuse survivors that the late teens and early 20s just wanted it to go away. They needed to take their attention off what happened and get on with life. I suspect the non-abused feel the same way - let's not talk about it andf maybe it will go away. Believe me, survivors have tried it and realized it doesn't work that way.

By their late 20's to early 30s many were beginning to see that maybe there was something wrong inside of them and began to explore how the abuse affected them. I think the most of the non-abused haven't gotten to this point.

People naturally want to avoid pain. It is a lot easier for people to pretend abuse isn't as bad as they think. People want to believe that parents don't betray their child's trust. They need to believe that those who are responsible for our physical, emotional, sexual and yes spiritual lives would never betray that trust. To protect themselves from the ugly reality of abuse they deny, minimize, and even forget.

Eventually reality crashes in and the choice is to deal with it or run. The survivors learn that running just doesn't work.

The rest of them - well that's their problem

Swan

I was talking with my counselor yesterday about how intangible mental disorders are to most people. We don't walk around with a cast on our heads. He says he can see it in his practice every day because it is his profession. He sees the effects and the improvements. But it is a slow process. And most people do not see it, cannot see it. Even people who have experienced trauma may not realize the effect it has upon them.

That's when I came up with the analogy of the 9/11 survivors. Nobody would think of berating them for their similar traumatic symptoms, their work to recover emotionally, and their efforts to take back their lives (except maybe Ann Coulter). Yet isn't that what we are doing? Aren't we just going through the same process Lady lee described?

Tammy

codeblue

It's called: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

People don't just get OVER PTSD...........

Spiritual abuse counts as PTSD!!!!

Swan

It's called: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
People don't just get OVER PTSD...........
Spiritual abuse counts as PTSD!!!!

CodeBlue, have you found that many in society think you should just be tough and shrug it off? Especially here in America. I think 9/11 may have been a turning point in how society thinks about PTSD. People are starting to understand its severity, but there is still a segment of society that thinks that people who go through trauma should be like John Wayne. You should snap out of it, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and keep going. Tammy

Who would tell 9/11 survivors to just get over it?

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