Wow, I finally got through to Big J !!

by Gregor 9 Replies latest social humour

  • Gregor

    I've been trying for years, had the number programmed into all my phones and hit redial every chance I could. So yesterday I'm driving along, bored with the radio, when I decided to try another redial. This is a transcript of the actual call:

    ring...ring...ring...ring (this went on for a long time and I was about to hang up, then).."Hello, You have reached Jehovah God. If your calling in Aramaic, press 1. If your calling in Buthanese, press 2...(this went on until it got to English, I entered 38)... I am sorry, I missed your call. I am taking some much needed quality time with Jesus. I will be out of the office from now until I get back. Please leave a message at the tone and will return your call as soon as possible....BEEEEP....Uh, yes, Jehovah this is me, but I guess you already know that. Wow, It would have been nice to talk to you but I feel priviledged to leave a message! I'll make it short. ..Well, uh, with all due respect, you need to make a personal appearance here on Earth. The misunderstanding, confusion, exploitation and downright chaos surrounding you has gotten way out of hand. If you could arrange a personal appearance tour, like the Rolling Stones or Bruce Springsteen, and make some pithy remarks, maybe pull off some mind blowing miracle stunt at each venue, whatever, I think it would help to kind of get us humans on the same page for awhile. You know it's been over 2000 years since the JC Tour. That was a huge success but I really think it needs to be done again...."

    I kicked myself after I hung up... I didn't even ask for any lotto numbers.

  • KW13

    WHOA - cool!

  • fullofdoubtnow

    Good one Gregor


  • lost_light06

    What's the number. I keep trying (777) 607-1914 but I get a "number is disconnected" message.

  • Gregor

    Try the 666 area code

  • lowden

    Awwwww Gregor, you could have asked him if he knew he'd been rumbled and that we all now thought he was an arse. But that's maybe why he had the ansafone on, so he didn't have to reply to wised up humans.

    He was probably playing poker again with Jesus whilst balancing two tennis balls on a tennis racquet in a vain attempt to impress and distract his son from the game...or something like that.......


  • BrendaCloutier
    What's the number. I keep trying (777) 607-1914 but I get a "number is disconnected" message.

  • Bird

    Gregor that's a good one. I found this joke on a website:


    2 jws were going door 2 door & knoked on the door of a woman who was not happy 2 c them. The woman told them that she did not want 2 discuss religion & then slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open. Seeing the 2 jws still standing @ the door infuriated her further. She stormed back 2 the door & flung it shut, but the door still didn't close. She then grabbed the door with two hands & shoved it as hard as she could, but, again the door wouldn't shut. Convinced one of these rude church members was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would reeeally teach them a lesson. Just then one of the jws said, "ma'am b4 you do that again, you might want 2 move your cat."

    (Unlikely that the cat would stay around, but still a good joke)

  • Fleur

    Brilliant, Gregor.

    Kinda reminds me of the XTC song "Dear God." If you haven't heard it, look it up. It's a good one.



  • lowden


    Brilliant song!

    An XTC fan



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