A coming out story to my mother.

by JennyBoo 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • JennyBoo
    JennyBoo
    So I actually came out to my mother a few days ago. Told her how I really felt about being a JW (Jehovah's Witness) and how I wasn't straight. I wasn't surprised by the disapproving response I got because really, I wasn't expecting any more. Long story short I told her that I didn't expect her to be happy about the fact that I like women over guys, but that all I wanted from her was to be happy that I was happy. Her response? She told me that she didn't have to be happy over a wrong choice I made and that she shouldn't be expected to be because it's still a matter of opinion and of course, mine was wrong because God said so. Then her next response was to liken me to a thief by telling me that she wouldn't be happy for me if I had chosen a life of stealing things so I shouldn't expect her to accept me being gay. I told her that that analogy was ridiculous because stealing and falling in love aren't even on the same plane of being similar. She then proceeds to tell me that they are the same thing because both are wrong in God's eyes and that she would be taking his stance on things no matter what, and that I shouldn't be looking for her approval because in the end I was an adult and the choices I made were mine alone to make. She only hopes that I do not turn my back on Jehovah in the end.
    Funny she says that when she just basically told me she would not be supportive of me if I bring home someone other than a male. It's also funny that she thinks I was looking for some sort of approval to begin with. I told her that for my benefit, because I got tired of lying to myself about being straight, and I felt better about myself after coming clean about my sexuality to her. She couldn't be just a mom to me about my choice, she had to be the studious bible student about it, and you know what? That's perfectly fine with me.
    I expected it to hurt when she told me that I would not have her blessing, but really, I don't care. Even though I no longer agree with being a witness because I think they have so many things wrong, but I respect her right to be in whatever religion she wants to be in. The fact that she refuses to respect my happiness because in her eyes it's illegitimate is...very backwards if you ask me. But she's right about one thing. I am an 22, going to be 23 this year. I am a young adult now and I don't need her approval or respect on anything because it is very much my choice in the end. And you know what? I fell in love with a wonderful woman, was nearly reduced to tears when I realized just how much I am in love with her. She's loving, and caring, and silly, and she takes the time to understand everything about me. I spent a lot of my young life thinking that I wouldn't find anyone for me, and then by chance I did. And I'm happy with at least that half of my life. And you know what? Anyone who thinks that I'm wrong with that, doesn't deserve to be in the know about my life, and that's fine. I don't need anyone helping to drag me down because I can do bad all by myself, and if I have to, I will cut family out of my life if it means retaining my own happiness.
    Funny, that after this conversation my mother and I had, even though there was no anger, that I was still more adult about it than a 54 year old woman thinks she was being.
  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Welcome JennyBoo!

    She only hopes that I do not turn my back on Jehovah in the end.

    That's the tricky part. Since Jehovah is invisible, it's so hard to be sure that I've really turned my back on him! Dang it! Jehovah, show yourself so that I can clearly turn my back on you!

    And then there's the tricky part about "the end". Is the end soon as in "next month", or soon as in "overlapping generations from now." That why JWs call them "the Last Days", because they last...

    ...and last...

    ...and last...

    ...and last...

  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot
    Welcome to the forum JennyBoo.
  • LisaRose
    LisaRose
    Good for you for standing up for yourself. Obviously a believing JW is never going to be happy that their child is gay, so I guess the best you can do is to agree to disagree about it. It's sad, because it probably means that you will not be as close, so she will miss out on sharing important moments with you, but that's on her.
  • smiddy
    smiddy

    Welcome JennyBoo

    I remember when being gay was to be happy , cheerful ,so I`m "gay" for you too .

    smiddy

  • zeb
    zeb

    some lesbians i have known have been the loveliest of people and some 'straight' women have not.

    well a big hug to you from me. (old male) and once again in your story you reveal how uber jw are incapable of comment unless they choose words from the book of borg speak.

    hug again.

  • freemindfade
    freemindfade
    Welcome JennyBoo. You have lots if support here tap into it
  • cantleave
    cantleave
    Welcome - it's great being true to yourself isn't it...
  • joe134cd
    joe134cd
    And that's the reason I choose to say nothing. Just ain't worth the drama.
  • SoJo16
    SoJo16
    You just sleep so much better when you aren't lying to yourself. Welcome!

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