I have trust issues , but what do you think about this ....

by troubled mind 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket
    I just don't know how to accept really generous people my experience is there usually is a motive .

    Well, if you trust your son, untie that apron string and let him go out. He's got to meet up to your standards and pay the bills. You have got to let him find his way, but you can stick your nose in every now and then. That's what mom's are for!

    (((hugs))) It's hard letting them go.

  • aoxo
    aoxo

    the idea of offering your son $100 is a little fishy to me. the healthy and real solution is to get your son to get a job or more gigs. by the way i have used several temp. agency's in my life. they do have lots of blue collar warehouse jobs and all sorts of jobs. but i would definately be weary of this preist guy. you dont have to give free money to be a good hearted person. it sounds like he wants something in return...

  • thecarpenter
    thecarpenter

    oooh was that your boy I was offering the job to???

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere
    the guy offered to give him $100. to cover his bills !

    I didn't read that you were too poor to pay for your son's cell phone and car insurance. My assumption was that you are trying to teach your son financial responsibility.

    Someone offering to give him - or advance him - the money, is disrespecting your role as a parent.

    Simply working odd jobs for the priest - I would think that would be your son's call. Good experience for him. And *if* the priest pulls any shenanigans, your son will handle it as best he can. And learn something in the process. (Of course, you can always pop in on him unannounced, too.)

    Working for the band? What a blast!! I think it's important to give kids an opportunity to spread their wings and if they fall, have a nice warm place for them to come home and heal a little before heading out again. He's only just 18. Gotta live a little. I like the comment from the poster who said he could work with band, be poor AND get an education. No real reason not to try to get some college under his belt.

    The comment about 'temp agencies being just for secretarial work'. HMMMM... Well, they are not just for that. And, besides, why couldn't he spend a few days answering phones for a busy company? Surely that's not just women's work. Is it?

    Back to your first comment about taking his cell phone and access to the car because he doesn't have the money. BIG Kudos to you. It's really hard to teach kids how to save and budget. I had a very tearful discussion about this with a 22 year old who hadn't learned yet. If he wants to be poor, that's his decision. But to expect other people to subsidize his 'luxuries' is wrong. It doesn't take too awfully much to earn $400 per month (about $300 after taxes). [I'm figuring that a cell phone and insurance and gas would come to about $300 a month for an 18-year-old.] But it does take self-control to budget that money to cover all necessary expenses and even save some so he can still pay his bills when he's not working. Better to learn this lesson now when real necessary expenses are relatively small.

    Good luck to both of you. I really hope he has a blast with the band!

    -Aude.

  • uwishufish
    uwishufish

    As soon as my daughter turned 18 I told her to go to bartending school. The day she graduated she worked a private party Car Dealers for Diabeates. Her take was $186. She plans to use this skill while she is in college.

    Maby that could work for your son.

    Uwuf

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere
    As soon as my daughter turned 18 I told her to go to bartending school.

    I've heard this from a few people and think it's a really good idea.

    Trouble is, in many states, the legal drinking age is 21.

    Still a great idea, though. A really good, versatile fall-back option.

    -Aude.

  • uwishufish
    uwishufish

    In the state of Tn drinking age is 21 but you only have to be 18 to tend bar.

    Uwuf

  • uwishufish
    uwishufish

    I know Ca is more strict. I used to live there.

  • Twitch
    Twitch

    For what it's worth,...

    Someone once told me that not everyone who s**** on you is your enemy.

    Not everyone who does something good for you is your friend.

    The hard part is figuring out which is which sometimes

    Trust is a hard one sometimes,...

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