i am new here and will try to be brief. i am not a jw and never have been. actually i only just discovered what it really means to be a witness. i grew up thinking it all rather harmless door-knocking and not having christmas, (which seemed pretty grim to a kid in itself) now, however, i have begun a relationship with a jw, well, an 'inactive' (i think you say) witness. he is possibly the love of my life and i really want to help him through this, but sometimes i feel overwhelmed. his folks are really devoted followers of the 'truth' (his dad is a district overseer or something like that) and the fact my beloved is inactive kills them (though his sister ran away before ever getting baptised and now has finally developed a relationship with them again)
(*please note he was already quite inactive several months before we met)
anyway, once everyone knows about us, which is at this moment, really only a matter of weeks as we live somewhat close to his old kingdom hall, then he will likely be disfellowshipped and he says he is prepared for this and has chosen this path, but it terrifies me the great losses he will sustain and also that i know, though he is questioning his faith, he is still carrying a lot of the watchtower teachings in his head. he says "i will never be like you, never really be free" and sometimes i see him close up like a clam when i am discussing something questionable..(i am a philosophy major at university and agnostic and love a good natter about all things inexplicable, but with him, it can be touchy) i am afraid i don't quite know how deep the rabbit-hole goes with his faith. i know he has told me that he believes it is possible it was all untrue, but then he will often feel compelled to defend it.
what i suppose i am asking is, is it possible he can be freer? and what is the best way to gently help him out of the clutches of guilt and the terror of 'dying at armageddon' and show him where jw's have made mistakes etc in the past? have any of you come through this hard hurdle and what helped you along? is it best to try to show his the errors of the jw organisation or simply gently lead him further into the real world and let him make his own judgements?
if you ask him, he will say he is NOT a witness, but i know that he is still a long way from being anything else...
being a witness made him unhappy his whole life (he has been in a lot of trouble with the elders and once even had his dad stood down for a while...his mother never forgave him, for example) he has been hurt his whole life by the fact his parents loved the 'truth' before their own son and he never fit in with the other witnesses...he has been confused and lonely and fighting upstream all his life and i want to help him into a world that will accept him..
anyone else's stories or advice would be so welcome and please, i know my understanding of what it really means to grow up a witness is limited, so feel free to help educate me.
i really love this boy and he loves me (so much so he is turning the world as he knows it on its head) any advice would be really really appreciated.
thanks, in advance, for your patience...i know it is a long and rather soppy story, but i really feel anxious!