Elders Are Closing In.... (page 2)

aoxo

hay undercover, i also have had no real problems with the elders. when i started doubting things they made one shepparding call because i was a reg. pioneer and MS but after that it was nothing. i have the feeling that they just thought it was a phase that i would break out of. even after i moved to another city and attended the meetings (leaving right after) for about a year there were no shepparding calls on me. i got the feeling that nobody cared. or maybe the elders were just so busy with all the other people doing naughty things and their own families that they just didn't have time. nobody seemed to care about me and i just couldn't buy all that propaganda about the all powerfull invisible God.

or maybe just maybe they didn't have a response for all of my "interesting" questions...

mkr32208

If possible change halls to one that is larger and busier (easier to disappear) then just go to a few meetings at the new hall but DON'T MAKE FRIENDS! Don't be mean but don't be overly friendly arrive during the opening song leave 2 minutes after the closing prayer don't attend EVERY meeting either let them know from the beginning your spiritually week and a bad associate! Then ask them to order your record cards and then never go back the new Cong. They might call once or twice but they won't really come after you at all cause they don't really know you enough to care and the old hall can dust their hands!

The people I've helped fade have done really well so far no one has been overly harassed (who didn't WANT to be!) Just imagine your a overworked unpaid elder and then think of scenarios that would result in the most work for them... They are looking for quick and easy! If you can allow them to just drop the problem on someone else they will be trilled! Don't make waves either you don't want someone coming after you with a grudge cause then they will pursue you cause it's PERSONAL! You don't want that! That's the idea of fading just out of sight out of mind type thing!

If you follow that plan you can fade quickly from that point!

mkr32208

Hey this is an idea I've not tried and don't know how it would work maybe some former (or current) elders can help!

Could you rent a PO BOX in the town the new hall is in then go to the new congregation and find out the name of the PO or whoever would order the cards but DON'T ASK THEM TO ORDER THE CARDS! Then send a letter to the old hall saying "brother XYZ has moved into our hall and we would appreciate your mailing his publisher record cards to us at PO Box #11124" Of course that would be YOUR po box and they would never arrive at the new hall so you would officially be in limbo! If the old hall calls you tell them oh I go to hall X now if the new hall calls tell them "I decided to go back to hall Y" who's gonna pursue it?

Quandry

The thing is, do they really want to "help" you or are they fishing? Don't take the bait. Many elders, I've found, are just waiting to cut their teeth on a really juicy committee meeting. They may have already determined that they know your attitude, or your thoughts for that matter, because they are happy to think the worst of a person. That is because they love to sit around and talk about "cleansing the congregation" of deadwood. Couldn't they just be happy that you are attending meetings? Perhaps you could just listen to them with a blank expression on your face, then say O.K. to everything they say.

They will undoubtedly try to push your buttons to get you to incriminate yourself. You could just play innocent. Why do you have to play their game?

daniel-p

If possible change halls to one that is larger and busier (easier to disappear) then just go to a few meetings at the new hall but DON'T MAKE FRIENDS! Don't be mean but don't be overly friendly arrive during the opening song leave 2 minutes after the closing prayer don't attend EVERY meeting either let them know from the beginning your spiritually week and a bad associate! Then ask them to order your record cards and then never go back the new Cong. They might call once or twice but they won't really come after you at all cause they don't really know you enough to care and the old hall can dust their hands!
The people I've helped fade have done really well so far no one has been overly harassed (who didn't WANT to be!) Just imagine your a overworked unpaid elder and then think of scenarios that would result in the most work for them... They are looking for quick and easy! If you can allow them to just drop the problem on someone else they will be trilled! Don't make waves either you don't want someone coming after you with a grudge cause then they will pursue you cause it's PERSONAL! You don't want that! That's the idea of fading just out of sight out of mind type thing!
If you follow that plan you can fade quickly from that point!

Good tips. We will likely move in the next 3-5 years, but until then I might want to implement a plan that would make the elders feel i would be a lot to handle. Unfortunately (and ironically) my elders are pretty earnest and caring, so they might be hard to shake. Of course, I could be wrong with my evaluation... most elders are overworked and are quick to pass on responsibility. I could come up with some plan to talk to them about my "questions" but I just don't know if I have the energy for that.

daniel-p

The thing is, do they really want to "help" you or are they fishing? Don't take the bait. Many elders, I've found, are just waiting to cut their teeth on a really juicy committee meeting. They may have already determined that they know your attitude, or your thoughts for that matter, because they are happy to think the worst of a person. That is because they love to sit around and talk about "cleansing the congregation" of deadwood. Couldn't they just be happy that you are attending meetings? Perhaps you could just listen to them with a blank expression on your face, then say O.K. to everything they say.
They will undoubtedly try to push your buttons to get you to incriminate yourself. You could just play innocent. Why do you have to play their game?

To your first question, I don't know. The PO is a little stoic, with a thin veneer of care and concern. It could be that he fits your description and is baiting me, but my inclination is that he just wants to maintain the status quo with his congregation, without any major upsets. I think he called this afternoon because it has been 6 months without any time reporting and now I am officially inactive. Perhaps the CO is coming soon and he would like me to turn in some time to make it look like he's doing a good job. However, I do not want to give him that satisfaction. Also, it would be a psychological burden for me, since I would be compromising my ideal of not lying anymore in order to hide my beliefs (which is easier said then done, of course).

Stealth

I would tell them you are depressed and then grow a beard.

Once you have a beard, they really don't want you out in service. At least they won't want to work with you because the pubs may say, oh Edler X is working with Br. Beard so it must be okay to have facial hair.

So, once you grow the beard, only ask to go out with the PO and other elders, keep talking about your depression and soon they should leave you alone.

moshe

Please!!! Just turn in a bogus report- say you are witnessing to someone at work during lunch- 2 hours for the month should do it and a couple of mags. Perhaps they talked to your wife and got the idea they could help you. The WT articles are all made up scriptual gobledygook- give them the same in a field service report- In 5 months turn in another 2 hour report.

good luck,

Moshe

freetosee

I agree with saying as little as possible. You’re not obligated to answer their questions truthfully as they don’t answer questions either. We are well trained in what to say and what not to say. Tell them you just don’t feel like going in service and you can’t explain it to them (this is absolutely true). When they ask: what can we do to help you? Tell them that you appreciate their concern (knowing they are following WT policy -6 months no report) and that you feel most encouraged by associating with your family and friends.

When I became inactive (pio/MS) I discontinued meeting attendance. But I requested to meet with the elders. Knowing about the cover-ups, scandals and fights within the BOE I had much to talk to them about. They knew me as a shy and insecure person and had a hard time dealing with me doing most of the talking. Turning tables is what worked for me. Asking them to meet very week until things get clarified is what scared them away. We had many things happen in our cong, like fraud, child abuse and elders not speaking to each other. I had more things to hold against them, as they had against me. I knew that and so did they, so therefore I got avoided. Although I was burning inside to openly question some of the teachings I didn’t make that an issue. fts

grey matters

I think mkr32208 is on to something there. That is sort of what I did. I was fading pretty fast, but still active. Then I moved to a different state. To be honest, I really thought going in that I was going to try again to take things seriously in the new cong., but I just couldn't get motivated. It was over, whether I realised it or not. So I faded away completely. But the point is, the elders in the new cong don't really know me from anyone or really know how active I was before. So it isn't a big loss to them. The old cong just assumes I moved to a new hall and am more or less the same.

Elders Are Closing In....

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