Lets go to the church but stand outside

by Wordly Andre 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    I am so sick of this!!

    I have a split family, some non-JW and some JW, and ever since I was a young kid, I’ve noticed this silly fear of entering a church, I remember I must have been about 9 years old when my uncle died and my family went to the funeral, but we stood outside, and even at that young age I remember it felt wrong, like we were disrespecting my dead uncle and his family.

    Like I’ve wrote on this board before, I told my parents when at 15 I didn’t want to go to meetings anymore and was never baptized, when I was 18 my great uncle died and at the funeral I went into the church for mass, when it was over I walked outside all the rest of my family were outside waiting, they all gave me dirty looks like I was just caught with a prostitute. Ever since then I’ve gone inside any church no matter what Funerals, weddings, baptisms, whatever!

    Fast forward this November I will be celebrating my 2 nd wedding anniversary, I converted to Catholicism a few years before we met, we had a great big wonderful Catholic wedding, my family did not attend the ceremony I couldn’t help but look down at the grooms side and feel horrible, the space left open for my mom was empty, the flower bouquet that was suppose to be for her was left on the seat. At the end of the wedding after photos and such I walked outside to the limo and there was most of my family waiting outside the church. My mother didn’t even come inside to take a photo with my wife and me, we had to go to a park to take photographs, and I wish they knew how bad it hurts.

    WHY DO THEY DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Warlock


    We all used to do stupid things like that with blind loyalty, not to God, but to the Org. I'm sorry that happened to you. I missed quite a few weddings and funerals because of being a J.W. What is past, you cannot change.



    Sounds as if they were doing that to make a statement to you. In print anyway, attending funerals and weddings in churches are a conscience matter as long as you dont participate in any way shape or form in the worship service so they could have gone in. Of course other JW's who found out would look down on them, particularly if one of them is a precious elder, ms, or pioneer. You know how judgemental they are..

    While an elder I have been to several weddings and funerals in churches and I could've cared less but I did make a point not to tell anyone we went. Your family could've done this as well but seems as though they wanted to make a point to you.

  • mama1119

    I remember my Mom and Dad would always have a big decision to make when someone "wordly" died or got married." We would'nt go to the church but the reception. It really made me want to go into another church to see what the big deal was.

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre
    We would'nt go to the church but the reception

    Yeah a bunch of them came to the reception and ate my food, and drank my booze? I don't understand it, really I don't. Ok because a wedding is a celebration of Marriage, our marriage took place inside Saint Mary's Church, the celebration dinner was inside a hotel ball room, the food was blessed by the priest. yet they ate and drank and some got a little drunk! I guess free food is not a matter of conscience!

  • Finally-Free

    That reminds me of my own wedding. I was raised Catholic and joined the JW cult as an adult, along with my mom. The rest of the family remained Catholic. We wouldn't go to any of their weddings, baptisms, etc. When I got married they, naturally, didn't come to the kingdom hall. I was offended at the time, but I really had no right to be, considering my own conduct.

    I remember standing at the front of the hall, watching my bride walk up the aisle in a hall that was nearly empty. My family wasn't there, and neither was most of the congregation. While the hall was always packed for every other wedding I had been to, only about 20 people showed up for mine. I couldn't understand why our wedding was boycotted by most of the congregation. We were active pioneers™, and to my knowledge, I hadn't said or done anything to offend anyone. I guess that's what happens when you're not rich, not popular, and not related to any other JWs. The reception was better attended, but not by much. That day I learned how much I had lost by turning my back on the "world" and joining the watchtower. I felt like I had been kicked soundly in the gut.

    Most of the JWs I knew would never enter a church. Even on a bus tour I was the only JW who went into a church that was a historical site. The rest waited outside, probably talking about my depravity behind my back.


  • truthsetsonefree

    For elders its grounds for removal. Of course if people don't know.....

  • BluesBrother

    w02 5/15 p. 28 Questions From Readers ***


    it be advisable for a true Christian to attend a funeral or a wedding in a church?

    "Our taking part in any form of false religion is displeasing to Jehovah and must be avoided. (2 Corinthians 6:14-17; Revelation 18:4) A church funeral is a religious service that likely involves a sermon advocating such unscriptural ideas as the immortality of the soul and a heavenly reward for all good people. It may also include such practices as making the sign of the cross and joining in prayer with the priest or minister. Prayers and other religious exercises contrary to Bible teaching may also be a part of a religious wedding ceremony held in a church or elsewhere. Being in a group where everyone else is engaging in a false religious act, a Christian may find it difficult to resist the pressure to join in. How unwise to expose oneself to such pressure!"

  • BluesBrother
    I was the only JW who went into a church that was a historical site. The rest waited outside, probably talking about my depravity behind my back

    On the other hand , I have known organised tours by the WTS to include guided visits to Cathedrals and religious buildings. I have watched somebody's video of a tour of a Cathedral in the Kremlin Moscow, in the 90's as a part of the tours with the Assembly

  • Hecklerboy
    my family did not attend the ceremony I couldn’t help but look down at the grooms side and feel horrible, the space left open for my mom was empty, the flower bouquet that was suppose to be for her was left on the seat.

    Man I feel for you. When I got married I made sure to have the wedding outside so my mother and sister wouldn't have to enter a church. My mom was excited and was even planning on buying a new dress. A few weeks before the wedding they informed me that they were not going to attend because I was marrying a "worldly" girl. At the time I had not went to a meeting in over 6 years. They said coming to my wedding would mean that they approved of me marrying out of the JW's. I knew that an elder had got to them. However they went to my "worldly" brothers wedding and my mom was even in the ceremony. Makes no sense to me.

    I remember looking on the grooms side as well and not seeing any family. Just a few of my friends. My wifes side was packed. I have to admit it was a little embarassing.

Share this