Why the fuck does life have to be so damned difficult??
I really wish I knew the answer to that question.........
I want to thank everyone for all their nice comments and support.
Monday at work I was raw.......so many people did not know and I cried all day telling why I was gone from work. Totally draining.
I have learned some more info about suicide..........40% of children that have a parent commit suicide do it also. That is a huge percentage. It is genetic is what the docs I work for tell me. That a loving support system ........or an interest, hobby, job can help to compensate. I think people that commit suicide are the purest most sensitive of all people.....They do not buy into,,,,,,,,become hardened to the hurts and pains of life. They can't cope. Maybe they don't change and adapt to horrible things that happen in their life. I don't know.
The two people I know that have done it .......were not losers, it was not like a cop-out. I just want to learn and study more about suicide.
Today, I am better. But, tears still come. It has been hard to get up in the am for work. But I am glad to be busy.....and not dwelling on it. It comes and goes enough.
I was thinking sometimes making high expectations of others and from ourselves makes life harder. I decided to cherish even the smallest efforts from people and appreciate and be grateful. We never know what people have had to overcome to just get out of bed everyday.
much love to all,