I feel like I'm Living a lie!

by kgav8r 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • mama1119

    Yeah, seems almost jerky to me to keep studying knowing it is misleading the girl you are "so in love with."

  • Twitch

    If you feel you are living a lie, stop

    Give up what you have to.

    Do not live a lie.

    You'll die inside

  • katiekitten

    If you are living a lie you will only be able to do it for a limited amount of time.

    Speaking as someone who tried to maintain a (different) lie in my marriage, the truth pops out eventually whether you want it to or not. And when it does, BOY it hurts.

    So either try to find a way to resolve it now, or prepare for some very painful fireworks when it all comes out in the wash.

    Best of luck resolving your dilemma. Please try to do it sooner rather than later.

  • Undecided

    I like Sadie's logic.

    'Thou shalt be indifferent to thy neighbor's religion'". Would you like it if some one tried to disabuse you of your delusions? Why not let the Witnesses enjoy their delusions, while you enjoy yours?

    Of course some delusions can cause death to others and you can't just ignore it. I still believe what Rutherford said,"Religion is a snare and a racket." But of course sometimes just life is a snare and a racket, depending on the circumstances. Some days its good and some not so good. Don't complicate it anymore than necessary, unless you like to solve problems.

    Ken P.

  • jwfacts

    You will not be able to change any of the JWs so do not entertain that as a goal. Think only about what is best for you and your girlfriend.

    Personally I would come clean with her sooner than later. It will be very difficult for you to convince her she is not in the truth, and something you will need to do slowly over time.

  • apostawriter

    Kgav8r, be careful about damaging your own sense of spirituality. What you are doing cannot be strengthening it. Would your girlfriend find depth and beauty in someone whose own spirituality has been eroded? She will eventually sense your unhappiness.


  • LovesDubs

    I feel like you are being very selfish in this whole thing. You want your cake and eat it too and this lady who loves you and is holding out hope that she will return to the congregation with you on her arm someday, when the reality is she has a liar at her side. If you really love her (and arent just using her for your own purposes like you are using the Mormons or her friend as a "learning experience") then put your cards on the table and let her go back to her family while she still can. If she chooses to stay with you then at least she can do so with full knowledge of your intensions...or lack thereof.

    It's not like you have been given the answers to life and are just waiting to share them with those poor souls who less fortunate. You do no one any good nor any justice nor represent anything holy or pure while you lie to others and yourself.

    Put the Bible down and back away slowly and keep your hands in the air where we can see them!

  • jgnat

    Religious debate is fine, but people rarely join the Jehovah's Witnesses for religious reasons. They rarely leave for religious reasons, either. Your study in religions is not nearly as helpful as say, a psychological degree. I am reading Steve Hassan's book on Combatting Cult Mind Control right now, and he very clearly lays out the reasons people join organizations like the Witnesses.

    People typically join for emotional reasons. If you seriously would prefer your girlfriend to be away from the JW's influence, you won't be able to debate her out. Address her emotional needs, and her need for the society will diminish.

    I vote with everyone else. Get this relationship on a more honest footing. She might surprise you. She may pick you over the society after all.

  • Agent Socrates
    Agent Socrates

    As George Costanza said on "Seinfield" - "So your living a lie. I live like twenty of them." And this is oh so true in my case.

  • kgav8r

    Thank you all for the input. I realize some of you are atheist/agnostic. I respect you beliefs and do not belittle them. I only ask that you respect my beliefs that i hold dear and not call them false regardless of your personal beliefs. I don't think i can stop going to my "studies." It is all too interesting. I am going to stop telling them what they want to hear, though. I feel this is dishonest to both myself and others. Perhaps i can ask such questions that will raise doubt in their minds. I do not wish to convert them to my beliefs, i just want to get them out of the high control group they are involved in. Maybe some of you can help me come up with such questions. I would prefer they not be too blatant, as i'd rather transition into my new role easily. Something that seems genuine, nothing accusing.

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