Left behind...or forgotten?

by lisavegas420 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • lisavegas420
    Even if they don't care about me, don't they care about my wife and kid? Nope

    Yes, exactly. Maybe that's why it makes feel well...a combination of sad and irritated. How in the world do they rationlize it in their minds.

    Could it be a completely new body of elders after 20 years and no one knows you?

    Have they lost the paperwork on you/?

    Could be new elders, ...but what about my family. They know where I am. Only because I make it a point to let them know. My name hasn't changed in the last 13 years, my address is hasn't changed in 9years. I come up in those people search sites. I checked.

    Every so often I'll be jolted awake by a dream that a family member has died and that I'm being told that I'm expected to stay away from a funeral/memorial service, or that I find out months after the fact, and everyone thinks I'm a heartless callous b*tch for not having attended.

    I'm expecting the same thing.

    Or a dream where I've died and none of my family members shows up.

    I told my husband not to waste a long distance phone call on them. If they ever called he could mention it then...if they asked.

    Why is it that they care more about converting perfect strangers than they are about finding the 'lost sheep that strayed'? Are they so selfish that they don't even seem to give a damn that I'm going to be destroyed at Armageddon™? Why aren't they trying to save me from that destruction?

    I lay awake at night and wonder the same thing.

    I found out that last summer my parents went to a convention in GA where my sister lives, then came back and went to the one they were assigned to......that's right they didn't get enough the first time...although my parents lived 3 hours away from me, the convention they were assigned to and attended, (for a second scoop of spiritual food)..(would that make them gluttens?)...was 10 minutes from my house.

    They didn't call, didn't stop by.

    It makes me angry for a while. Then I calm down and am so grateful that I am not like them



  • lisavegas420
    Hey Lisa! There must be a statute of limitations on "REVIVING" old EX dubs :) I mean even Lazarus...he was only dead for 4 days and Jesus said he was stinky when he was resurrected so I mean...20 years???

    alt ...thanks.


  • Perry

    Hi Reina,

    Their psychology requires that they forget about you and only speak about you it terms of your wickedness. If they did not do this, they would have to confront their own sin of self-righteousness, and might actually find Christ as a way of dealing with the weight of their own sin. Since they publically reject Christ the night of each Memorial, they cannot have the mind of Christ, hence you simply get in the way of their illusion of being right with God. Without Christ, there is only illusions of many sorts and people will guard it beyond any human ties. The JW illusion is specifically designed to hide the nature of sin, focus on others' supposed wickedness and above all remove Christ as a posible option to conqueoring your own sin.

    Christ got in the way of legalists' illusions too. His Life provides a window into what happens to a person when they try to love people who are caught up in living by legalisms and self-righteousnes. It is all terribly quite normal I'm afraid.

  • RR

    Lisa, you are probably better off left behind AND forgotten. I studied in 1982, baptized in 1983, got enlightened in 1985, stayed physically until 1992. I walked away, my wife and I, we never looked back, my mother-in-law is in the congregation we were in. We never got a call from the elders, a letter, nothing. We were never announced as DF'd or DA'd. They just refused to do anything about it! If they wanted, they could have access to us, in fact when we visit my inlaw, she is oftened entertaining the JW's. They act as if nothing happened. So count your blessings!


  • bem

    I understand how you feel Lisa I have wondered these things myself, what makes a person in prison better than talking to my son who was df'd? But they do see him as worse and he has been written off I think I am "hounded" because they can count me as time now that I am inactive! but I am in a new city now and that doesn't happen anymore.

    But as has been said it's there loss, you are a valuable person theres nothing wrong with you.


  • love2Bworldly

    Well you are bound to make more true friends outside the JWs. So sad that family members treat their blood ties like that.

    Every day I am so thankful that I didn't raise my kids in that horrible religion, because now they would have to shun me and I wouldn't be able to enjoy Christmas and other holidays with them.

  • ferret

    Hi Lisa

    I know the feeling it's been over a quarter of a century since I was df'd and not once has anybody tried to encourage me back. The elders that df'd me are still around and family are still in so it's not a case of forgetting but not wanting to do a shepherding call. I was not df'd for apostasy so why would they not want to shepherd me back. (not that I would ever return). They just do not care.

  • lisavegas420
    They just do not care.

    Of course...that makes sence, as far as the elders go. Everyone is busy living...or not living their own lives.

    But that doesn't explain or excuse the lack of love from my bio-family.


  • LisaRose

    Lisa, that is extremely sad. Even understanding what the WT teaches, I would think your family would at lease keep some minimal contact. Are they cold or what??? That must hurt.

  • bubble

    Just imagine that one of your scenarios really happened, that you died and noone informed them of your death.

    Imagine that they somehow found out a couple of years later that you had passed away.

    Do you know what they'd do, they'd blame you!!!!

    You couldn't even win from beyond the grave. If YOU hadn't been df'd then none of this would've happened.

    They treat you as if you're dead when you're alive but you're the one at fault because you left Jehovah. And this is from the organisation that claim to be true christians and are known for 'the love they have among themselves'.

    Lisa, whether you have been left behind or forgotten is immaterial. You are better off not knowing or caring because they are the furthest thing away from true christians that this earth has ever known.

    We all love ya anyway. XXX

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