Left behind...or forgotten?

by lisavegas420 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • lisavegas420

    What about me?

    I'm nearly 45 years old, an entirely different person than I was when I was df'd at 25 years of age.

    I haven't had a phone call, no letters, no JW visits. My parents don't call, nor my siblings. Not a shepharding visit, no invites to memorial or assemblies.

    I swear I have never been THAT BAD of a person. Just couldn't do the JW thing.

    Not that I want them to start on me...I just wonder why I've been left behind or forgotten about.


  • reina

    Left behind or forgotten, that is very common in the truth. I was born and grew up as a JW. My entire life was JW entire family yet the day I choice to leave I was completely left behind family and all the friends I grew up with. It is tough but you begin to see people in a different light some remain friends and some don't.

  • Warlock

    Join the club, Lisa. Rather, I'll join your club since it's been 20 years of no contact for you. It's only been about 4 for me. But, it was basically the same ever time I went inactive.

    It's not about going back. It's just about "does anyone care?". Do any of those people that say they are the ones who show true Biblical love, care? Not one? I guess not.

    Even if they don't care about me, don't they care about my wife and kid? Nope.

    So then, why should I care? People that I have not seen, care more than people I have seen!


  • sspo

    Could it be a completely new body of elders after 20 years and no one knows you?

    Have they lost the paperwork on you/?

    Or it could be that truly the body of elders have other things to worry about but the df's one.

    Was an elder for 21 years and the df's were never our prioritty and we never talked about them and after so many years no one remembers you


  • codeblue


    It breaks my heart to read your topic. I am truly sorry for their lack of love.

    It is THEIR lack of love that is the issue....there isn't anything wrong with you.

    We all have a need to feel loved, and knowing we are missed.

    Continue to surround yourself with people that truly love you...


  • vitty

    Ive been fading for 2 years, and have moved thousands of miles away, so its been easier for me. I dont want to have links with anyone, except family.

    A couple of sisters, no tell a lie, ONE sister phoned me regulary when I left the congregation, and moved. That was after I had spent 15 years in that cong, no letters phone calls or E-mails...................just how i like it

    But what if id still be in................I know it would have been ME who had called them and kept in touch, ................but out of sight out of mind. except if they want a free visit...........

  • kid-A

    I think this is becoming increasingly common. Several of my former dub friends have had the same experience, and some of these cases involved unresolved issues of "gross immorality" LOL. Seems the BOE is far more willing to let things slide these days. An overall symptom of the malaise, boredom and general apathy of the R+F.

  • Scully

    I can't even begin to tell you how much your post resonates with me, lisa.

    Every so often I'll be jolted awake by a dream that a family member has died and that I'm being told that I'm expected to stay away from a funeral/memorial service, or that I find out months after the fact, and everyone thinks I'm a heartless callous b*tch for not having attended. Or a dream where I've died and none of my family members shows up. You'd think that after reading all the posts from people who have had those very things happen to them, it wouldn't rattle me. But it does.

    Then I'll start thinking about stuff like "Well, if they really really believe that they have The Truth™, why is it that over the past decade or so that I have been Inactive™, have NONE of my JW relatives or friends made any effort at all to get me to go back? Why is it that I was never important enough to them to feel like I belonged there in the first place? Why is it that they care more about converting perfect strangers than they are about finding the 'lost sheep that strayed'? Are they so selfish that they don't even seem to give a damn that I'm going to be destroyed at Armageddon™? Why aren't they trying to save me from that destruction? Was I just a disposable person?? Someone who gets tossed on the trash heap as soon as I was no longer conforming to the collective?"

    It makes me angry for a while. Then I calm down and am so grateful that I am not like them.

  • Crumpet

    and we love and remember you lisavegas!

  • LovesDubs

    Hey Lisa! There must be a statute of limitations on "REVIVING" old EX dubs :) I mean even Lazarus...he was only dead for 4 days and Jesus said he was stinky when he was resurrected so I mean...20 years???

    Im just kiddin ya honey. Imagine how many people the elders would be having to track down every year when tens of thousands of JWs leave, die or are DFd or DAd every year. We're talking like 200,000 out there! Theyd have like ZERO time to spend with the ones who are sinking fast and are STILL IN the congregations! Just cant keep all those kittens in the basket no mo!

    They have no time for you because theyre too busy trying to keep themselves afloat in a sinking boat.

    And...you dont need ANY OF THEM to validate who you are as a human being.

    hugs, Loves

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