Help me come up with some Elder comeback lines...

by jgnat 27 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • jgnat

    For the moment at least, my muse has been revived, and I'm wrapping up my book for "Unbelieving Mates". I had started to compose a list of common JW excuses and manipulative questions, and their retorts. It is not finished. Can you help me finish the list? What is the worst thing an elder/relative has told you that you WISHED you had a good comeback for?


    You have a problem, brother.

    Is my problem that you're unloving?


    Did you get this information off the internet?

    I am confused by your question. If it is correct, does it matter where it came from? Would you turn away truth from a donkey?


    Why do you always point to negative things? You used to be such a positive person.

    You aren't asking me what I like about the organization. I didn't (leave;stop going to meetings/field service) because of positive things.


    Selective bible quotes like: They were not of our sort and went out from us. Are you not of our sort?

    If I take out the trash, am I not of your sort? No? Just because someone leaves does not mean they are no longer part of us, right? We have to ask ourselves, WHY are they leaving?



    We don't know what your situation is, and we don't want to get too personal.

    I appreciate that. It is best if you don't risk inquiring about things that really aren't anyone else's business.

    1 Thessalonians 4:11

    Deal breakers This is used when the elders have given up trying to turn you and want to establish a good reason not to talk to you any more.

    Do you still believe that the Faithful and Discreet Slave is Jehovah's representative here on earth in our day?

    I am not sure anymore. One thing that weakens my confidence is that they seem scared of anyone who doubts the truth of that.

    Matthew 10:24-31


    Wait on Jehovah.

    Should I use this advice on contributions, too? If Jehovah will provide, we don't have to bother. I am waiting. I am just avoiding meetings while I wait.


    Put it all in the bin.



    Why not be like Moses and accept the situation for now, who knows what Jehovah has in store for you?

    Moses left his homeland of birth and waited at a great distance. And no human or group of humans set him on his eventual purpose.


    Increase Cognitive Dissonance

    You've invested so much already, it would be a shame to throw it all away.

    I know, doesn't it all seem wasted? Why go on this way, expecting more of the same? What if I had eaten only McDonald's my whole life and the doctor said it would kill me if I kept going that way? Would it matter how much I had invested?


    Can you take your stumbling blocks and turn them into stepping stones?

    Yes. But since I was stumbled by path XXX, wouldn't it make more sense to try a different—less dangerous—path next time?


    Our kids grew up together.

    I know. I will miss many of the people I love so much. But I can't afford to make decisions about religion based on emotion, can I?


    Instill Guilt

    Even if you just KNOW about a sin, and you don't notify the Elders of that person's sin, it's as if you committed the sin yourself.

    [search furiously through NT] I must have missed that one. Where does it say that in any instructions to Christians?


    We miss you.We love you.

    Great! Why don't you give me a call next week and we'll go for coffee.


    We missed your partner at the meeting.

    Great! Why don't you give us a call next week and we'll go for coffee.


    We understand that sometimes it's difficult to express ourselves when we have been accused of committing a sin. Is there anything we can do to help you express your feelings about how this all started?

    First, you could stop comparing an accusation to a conviction. You can help me to express myself by telling me who made an accusation, what evidence there is of the accusation, and whether you have already found me guilty of the accused behavior. Once you have done that I may have some things to tell you.


    It's so nice to see you here as a family.



    We love you.

    O, how I wish I could believe that!


    What do we tell the brothers?

    About what?


    Is there anything that you feel that you ought to be telling us?

    Oh, yes! I have many things to tell you, but I'm not sure you can bear them.


    Instill self-doubt

    How do you know Jehovah hears your prayers?

    Why do think Jehovah is listening to your prayers? What's the evidence?


    You know what you did was wrong.

    Are you talking to me or a mirror? I know what I did, you only know what you say I did.


    If you're stumbled maybe it's because you want to be stumbled, maybe you're looking for an excuse to slow down.

    So, by this reasoning, no Witness could actually be stumbled by someone or something else. Is that what Jesus said?

    Luke 17:1-4

    Instill Fear

    How do you know Jehovah hears your prayers?

    I haven't lost confidence in Jehovah. All who call on him in confidence, he hears. As long as they pray in accordance with his will. Don't you believe that?

    Isaiah 30:18, 19; 1 John 5:13-15

    Is your choice worth giving up your life for?

    Are my choices worth living for?


    See what happens when you leave Jehovah?

    I see what happens when you leave an organization that speaks in Jehovah's name. Is that the same as leaving Jehovah?


    Sometimes you think you can get away with things, but Jehovah sees everything, and it will be much worse for you to be judged by HIM

    How true that is! Maybe someone should write and remind the Governing Body that their accountability for error is greater than mine.

    Romans 2:1-11

    Here are some scriptures on Apostacy. You don't want to go apostate, do you? 2 Tim 3:10-14, 2 Tim 2, 2 Tim 1 20-21, 2 Thess 15:2, 1 John 2:18-19, 2 Peter 2.

    I don't want to apostatize myself from God, Jesus, or the Bible. But none of these scriptures discusses leaving an organization, do they? Hasn't the Governing Body also said the resurrection has already occurred? Starting in 1919?

    Galatians 1:6-9; 2 Timothy 2:18

    As in the days of Noah, the people were laughing and mocking, until the flood came and took them all away.

    Yes, they took no note at all of the ark, God's means of salvation. Why do we say the organization is God's means of salvation instead of Jesus? Isn't Jesus the modern day ark? Was Jesus apostate since he directed people to a different approach to God than the organization of his day?

    2 Peter 3; John 14:6-7

    Where else will you go?

    Suppose you are entirely correct. What then? Where will you go?

    I will figure that out once I know whether or not I am entirely correct. Can you show me that I am not entirely correct?

    1 John 4:1; Ephesians 5:15-17; Phillipians 1:8-11

    Suppose this isn't Jehovah's Organization. Where will you go??

    If it isn't, then anywhere else would be preferable.

    Revelation 18:4-8

    Suppose this isn't Jehovah's Organization. Which one is?

    If we are still living in the Great Apostasy, why would there have to be one?

    2 Thessalonians 2:3-12

    So, if this isn't God's Organization, how will you carry out the worldwide preaching work?

    Hm. I don't know. How was it carried out during the Great Apostasy?

    2 Thessalonians 2:3-12

    So if you don't believe XXX anymore, what do you believe?

    I believe all of my beliefs should be based on (the Bible/logic). Is that wrong? I also believe I don't have to necessarily tell everyone what I believe. You don't think I should tell everyone what I believe, do you?

    Hebrews 5:14; Romans 12:1, 2; Acts 17:10, 11

    What other organization has done more for the truth?

    Hm. That's a good question! I really should do more research before I answer it.


    Where else will you find such loving, clean people to be with?

    I did not want a kind of 'social club'. I joined because I thought I had 'the truth', If only one person has the truth in a tin shed somewhere then this is where I would want to be. Besides, many aren't loving and if they were clean they wouldn't need constant policing.


    This is still the best way of life even if there is no paradise.

    I disagree. The best way of life is a personal relationship with God. And being able to trust that you have a helper with God and a High Priest with God, and that these are not imperfect. My leader doesn't make mistakes and would never stumble me.


    If this is not Jehovah's organisation then how do you explain the growth?

    Um, are you suggesting that growth is proof of God's blessing? Then how do you explain the Mormons? How do you explain the Buddhists? How do you explain the explosion of growth among Evangelical religions? I would call growth a "powerful work," nice to look at but it can't be used as proof of favor.

    Matthew 7:15-23

  • Terry

    YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, BROTHER. Actually, I have a solution to a problem; it's called "rational thinking". Try it!

    DID YOU GET THIS INFORMATION OFF THE INTERNET? Doesn't the Society have an Internet site? The Internet is just a medium. The content is what counts.

    WHY DO YOU ALWAYS POINT TO NEGATIVE THINGS? Aren't the 10 Commandments negative with all those "Thou Shall Not's"?

    YOU USE TO BE SUCH A POSITIVE PERSON. I'm positive you are implying something negative about me. But, what counts for me is what is True.

    WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR SITUATION IS.... Respect for my privacy is much appreciated, Brother. Some things just aren't other people's business.


    WAIT ON JEHOVAH. Jehovah has eternity, but, we humans only have a brief lifetime to get our act together. Humans need to clean their own house.

    WHY NOT BE LIKE MOSES AND ACCEPT THE SITUATION NOW? That's what keeps people in the churches of Christendom.

    YOU'VE INVESTED SO MUCH ALREADY. IT WOULD BE A SHAME TO THROW IT ALL AWAY. That's what the "Judaizers" told Paul, wasn't it?"

    TURN YOUR STUMBLING BLOCKS INTO STEPPING STONES. How about we just get the right road crew to clear away the mess in the first place?

    OUR KIDS GREW UP TOGETHER. We grow too soon old and too late smart.

    WE MISS YOU; WE LOVE YOU. I wish you riches and a yacht, too. But, like you, I won't be writing any checks.

    IS THERE ANYTHING YOU OUGHT TO BE TELLING US? Well, one of my favorite quotes is: "A mind is a terrible thing to waste".

    HOW DO YOU KNOW JEHOVAH HEARS YOUR PRAYERS? Because He answers them exactly as often as he always did before.

    SUPPOSE YOU ARE ENTIRELY CORRECT AND YOU LEAVE?....WHERE WILL YOU GO? You don't have to GO somewhere to find God if you can think.

    WHAT OTHER ORGANIZATION HAS DONE MORE FOR THE TRUTH? You mean the Whole Truth? Or, changing opinions about what is "True"?

    The Watchtower has a 100% success record at being wrong, so, just about anywhere

    else might just be an improvement, wouldn't you say?

  • Mulan

    My favorite when they ask just about any question is: Why do you ask?

    They don't want to answer and usually move on. Then you just ask it again.

  • Stealth453

    Wow, the only reply that I have is composed of 2 words...that sound a little like &%$# &%$

  • jgnat

    Mulan, I fully intend to write a preamble to the chart to suggest that very thing. Answer a qestion with a question. I think one of the early things an ex-JW must learn is that they DO NOT OWE AN EXPLANATION for the things that they do. I find JW's in general to be very intrusive in my business. There is almost no sense of privacy.

  • jgnat

    Halfway through, Terry. I love your "Wait on Jehovah" reply.

  • tijkmo

    Do you still believe that the Faithful and Discreet Slave is Jehovah's representative here on earth in our day?

    well its a bit pointless when according to jr brown even the gb dont believe that

  • tijkmo


    to do order for me to make advancement i need to see evidence of justice/love/jahs direction some point in the future will jehovah destroy those that wronged me..well he might but what good will that do me then since he probably will kill me too...but i think it is far more likely that he will just forgive them since they are imperfect....that would be like me loaning you some money and you making good with it and then i fall on hard times and ask for you to pay me back since you are now able..but you say to me in the new system we will not need is pointless - i need the money now...waiting on jehovah is just an excuse for doing nothing...perfect justice will not be necessary in is necessary now

  • schne_belly


    Those are all such great responses. Wish I had them a few months ago when my family and I were getting harassed by the elders. No doubt I'll still be able to use some when I run into some old "friends". Thanks for sharing!

  • jgnat

    Really, schene_, they're good? It's nice to get confirmation. I composed the guilt-sentences from memory. Did I catch the big ones? Are any missing?

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