If I was a social worker or an agent for an adoption agency I would do everything within my legal and persuasive power to discourage a Jehovahs Witness couple from successfully adopting.
I was a lonely JW woman seeking a child through the County System. My husband and I were totally honest and hopeful the system would see we were an ideal loving couple for a child.
They however did not see us the same way.
Being a woman of faith I took the refusal and dissappointment to my God and asked Him for help to overcome my grief and give me a peaceful calm and happy heart again.
It was soooooo much easier to leave the religion years later with absolutely no regrets or pain of heart that I was leaving my beloved child behind in the org.
And then God gave me a new husband young enough, er well, my point is the agencies place their children with families that are GOOD FOR THE CHILD, not good for the couple.
The best opportunites for children are with loving couples that are not too religious and who value learning and exploring and adventure and healthy integration into society. Thats what is best for children.
Should Jehovah's Witnesses Be Allowed to Adopt Children?
by TMS 49 Replies latest jw friends
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anewme
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anewme
If I was a social worker or an agent for an adoption agency I would do everything within my legal and persuasive power to discourage a Jehovahs Witness couple from successfully adopting.
I was a lonely JW woman seeking a child through the County System. My husband and I were totally honest and hopeful the system would see we were an ideal loving couple for a child.
They however did not see us the same way.
Being a woman of faith I took the refusal and dissappointment to my God and asked Him for help to overcome my grief and give me a peaceful calm and happy heart again.
It was soooooo much easier to leave the religion years later with absolutely no regrets or pain of heart that I was leaving my beloved child behind in the org.
And then God gave me a new husband young enough, er well, my point is the agencies place their children with families that are GOOD FOR THE CHILD, not good for the couple.
The best opportunites for children are with loving couples that are not too religious and who value learning and exploring and adventure and healthy integration into society. Thats what is best for children. -
sammielee24
I'm not sure if I understand the civil rights issue in this regard. I can understand the civil right to practice your own religion, however, I don't know if I consider adoption a civil right or a societal privilege. If a civil right (for example) gave us the freedom to engage in Nazism and all that entailed - does that right to practice that lifestyle also give us the civil right to adopt children and teach them to engage in the same practice? I might agree that all people should have to pass a test to be a parent, however, now you've stepped on the civil rights of people to procreate without government involvement in their lives. I personally get tired of hearing people go on about how it should be illegal to divorce..yet you can get married without any problems so in my opinion, people should have to attend life counselling for a year or two together even before they get married. Make getting married more difficult instead the other way around - but to do so would again be sitting on the civil liberties of an adult couple. A very interesting topic indeed but I still believe that any member of a cult should be refrained from adoption - the problem with any cult member is trying to make them understand that they are in a cult and the harm being done to them and their offspring. sammieswife.
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anewme
Sammieswife, the way the agencies legally get around the discrimination issue is to STALL THE COUPLE for years and years until they tell them they now only qualify to adopt a teenager. That puts an end to their request usually. Works like a charm!
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anewme
I'd like to add how painful it was to attend all the parental instructional meetings, take the CPR classes, answer the 50 page questionaire, fullfill the requests for referrals by having 5 families vouche for our conduct and character and only then after 3 years be told we were now too old to adopt a baby or young child. They did however have some "challenged" children that needed fostering if we were willing to transfer to the foster program.
Legally they cannot come right out and say a cult cannot adopt. But it might be kinder in some cases if they did.
Anyway, Im over it and they made the right decision! -
lonelysheep
Oooh, tough question. I wasn't raised jw, so I have no first hand knowledge of what it's like to be brought up with jw parents. My own childhood was pure hell and I wasn't adopted. The foster care system is no joke, at least where I'm from, and I'd be inclined to say yes, go ahead and adopt. But what a lot of you have been through would lead me toward the other direction.
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itsallgoodnow
You're probably right on that point, Lonelysheep. I just think of all the people out there looking for babies, babies, babies. The kids and young teens just need a home, period. But the babies - there are plenty of people wanting those, let those go to families better equipped to care for the child's physical, mental and emotional needs and provide them with what they need to "integrate into society" as someone mentioned. The JWs just don't do that for their kids. Although I'm sure plenty of adoptive parents are just as crazy.
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AK - Jeff
Sammieswife - you make some good points. I don't think our personal opinions and values here are far off. My take is in the macro-societal picture. The US was founded on the principles of equal application of law to all, and the legal and ethical pursuit of happiness within.
On a personal level, I hope and pray that Jw's do not adopt and raise children within the cultish boundaries they have developed, especially if that results in unhappiness or danger for the child. The best thing for the adoptable child involved would be a middle of the road family with good values. As stated, that does preclude most Jw families, but not all. Thus the reasons for the questionaires and deep interviews that often do exclude Jw's from the process, as Anewme has attested. [Wifey and I went thru the same thing too.] Let me be perfectly clear; I am absolutely in favor of the best for the child in cases of adoption.
In many cases though - even among those who are not witnesses - the family is not middle of the road with good values. There are hundreds of thousands of children in the welfare system who are not being raised in a stable, one family home. Some witnesses would be able to provide that home - albeit with some of the negative effects of the religious training that most likely will come as a result.
I think some of what is being said here is about perspective. I know of people raised in a strictly Catholic home who feel damaged from the environment there too. As some may attest, there is a high level of guilt and fear of Godly punishment in some of those homes. Strict Catholics adhere to a set of values that some may resent in later years also. [I am not Catholic bashing here - just comparison]. Some go thru life - after rejecting the Catholic faith - plagued by the guilt they feel for use of birth control, acceptance of sex outside marriage or divorce from an abusive mate, etc. As we know the Catholic Church maintains the same position as Jw's in the area of salvation - all outside the Church are condemned to everlasting fire. [Please correct if I am wrong on the technicals here].
My point is that of religious liberty. Should the law of the land preclude those who profess a particulare religion from pursuit of family through adoption? That would seem to contramandate the articles of freedom on which this land was formed.
Don't get me wrong - I hate the religion of Jehovah' witnesses. [Just read some of my previous posts if in doubt]. I do not generally think it is the best placement of adoptable children either. I just don't believe that persons should be legally excluded from the process no matter what if any religion they profess. Otherwise what prevents us from exclusion to lesbian/homosexual unions, ethnic groups, parents who may due to lifestyle choices infect the child with ideas that run counter-culture from our own, or for that matter athiests?
I do not endorse adoption to Jehovah's witnesses. I just cannot ethically oppose such as a freedom loving American who believes the precepts of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitutional rights that have sprung from those self-same precepts. If adoption agencies find acceptable reasons to prevent those adoptions - they must live with the consequences be they good or bad in those cases. But legal precedent that allows the removal of citizens' rights based soley on the choice of religion, race or ethnic background are simply wrong in my opinion. That is all I express here.
Jeff
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anewme
I think the laws of the Bill of Rights and the Constitution would apply if adopting were a legal right. But is it? Or is adoption a privilege?
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Elsewhere
I have an uncle and aunt to adopted a boy who was about 10 or so. Within a year he was begging to become an orphan again so he could get away from the crazy JWs.
Never saw him again after that!