Hi everyone i was just wondering if those of you that have left the org for whatever reason, have found your'e much happier than when you were in it?Probably a daft question but i tried to talk to a friend about how i was feeling about a few things and why i don't go to meetings and she said would i really be any happier out than in?It just got me thinking about why i joined in the first place, because i was lonely and down, although i still am several years later it seems!Have you found life better on the outside?Did you feel a sense of freedom or was it really hard to adjust?When i try to explain what i find hard in the religion they can always say something back that then makes me think i was wrong in the first place and it is the truth after all - aagh!
Are you happier out of the org?
by dobbie 48 Replies latest jw experiences
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unbrainwashed
Yes! Absolutely!
The truth shall set you free!
I think it is essential to have a healthy replacement social circle when you make the decision to leave the WTS though. It makes for a smooth transition into freedom. Otherwise it can get very lonely and find yourself gravitating back into that mess. Even a couple of friends that understand what you are going through should suffice.
BTW, welcome to the board from a fellow newbie!
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south african beef
Welcome to the board.
To say I'm happier out of the organisation is the biggest understatement EVER!
I was d'fed 4 years ago, my marriage broke up, all my former friends and my family no longer talk to me - yes I don't like that bit but it is their loss as much as it is mine.
When you realise that the organisation is not based on truth it is easier.
I am remarried now to a gorgeous woman. we have already had amazing times visiting outstanding places around the world.
I feel free, relaxed, at peace with myself and with no pressure to keep on doing more.
Having been brought up a JW I thought I would find it hard once I left but I haven't. The only regret I have is I wish I had done it YEARS ago.
Good luck! -
south african beef
Welcome to the board.
To say I'm happier out of the organisation is the biggest understatement EVER!
I was d'fed 4 years ago, my marriage broke up, all my former friends and my family no longer talk to me - yes I don't like that bit but it is their loss as much as it is mine.
When you realise that the organisation is not based on truth it is easier.
I am remarried now to a gorgeous woman. we have already had amazing times visiting outstanding places around the world.
I feel free, relaxed, at peace with myself and with no pressure to keep on doing more.
Having been brought up a JW I thought I would find it hard once I left but I haven't. The only regret I have is I wish I had done it YEARS ago.
Good luck! -
south african beef
Sorry about the double post - still 'repetition for emphasis'!
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garybuss
I left my footprint on the inside of the Kingdom Hall door in 1974. I was 30. I remember being a Witness well and I'll never for get that last year and a half or so. I was hassled, disrespected, belly pushed, and all on top of being lied to since I was 6 years old.
Being a Witness chapped my ass . . . damn right I'm glad to be out! -
fullofdoubtnow
Hi dobbie, and welcome to the forum.
To answer your question, yes I am much happier now I am out of the org. I da'd last November, after 25 years of associating with jws, 23 of them as a baptised jw. It does take time to adjust to life on the outside, and I am aware I still have a way to go before I am completely free of the effect it had on me, but I am getting there. I had a lot of good times as a jw, but I have a sense of freedom now that I never experienced whilst in the wts, and I wouldn't exchange that for anything.
As for them having the truth - no way. I am not entirely convinced that anyone has the true religion, I am somewhat of an agnostic these days, but if anyone has it, it's not the wts. Trust me, you will find better times away from the wts than the best you experienced as a jw. Give yourself time, as much as you need, and keep reading and posting on here. This is a really good place to be, and has helped me far more than I could ever find the words to say. You will find far more help, support and genuine unconditional friendship on here than you will ever find amongst jws.
You are on the road to freedom now, stay on that road.
love
Linda
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littlerockguy
I am much happier now that Im no longer part of the borg. I remember the last time I was at a Sunday meeting and driving home vowing to never return because I had finally had enough. The following week was like a huge boulder lifted off my shoulders. No more running on the Watchtower hamster wheel with more meetings, preparing for meetings, field service and finding time to do all that plus working full time and then feeling like you never did enough because they always stressed to "reach out" and do more, do more, do more.
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lowden
Dobbie welcome to the forum!
As above i say YES, YES, YES.
Until one can free oneself from the vicelike grip of the org' and their mind-control methods, then one may doubt that happiness was attainable.
Having it drummed into the head that leaving causes total breakdown of the decent person, is part of the reason that people don't leave. It's mind-control!!!!
I'm also much, much happier away from the bible god they worship. That god creeps me out......hugely.
Peace
Lowden
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Lady Lee
Hi everyone
Welcome to JWD
have found your'e much happier than when you were in it?
Absolutely better and happier
It just got me thinking about why i joined in the first place, because i was lonely and down, although i still am several years later it seems!
That is a common situation that many experienced and thought joining the JWs would "fix" It doesn't solve the problem and sometimes makes it worse
Have you found life better on the outside?
I went back to school, college then university and had a career I loved.
Did you feel a sense of freedom or was it really hard to adjust?
When I left I still believed the JWs had the "truth" It took me 10 years to find out it wasn't. But once I realized that I fell free and like a load had been lifted off my shoulders. I lost many things but I gained my freedom and that was definitely worth it
When i try to explain what i find hard in the religion they can always say something back that then makes me think i was wrong in the first place and it is the truth after all - aagh!
Definitely keep reading on this site (Try the Best of Section) but also try other websites. (The Links section of the board has some very good sites. It's normal to not know how to express your feelings about the WTS. JWs are taught to ignore their real feelings and become one of God's "happy people". I know I felt like such a fraud as a JW because hidden behind my smile and my eyes was serious depression. It gets easier. Many of the people who post here have had similar experiences to yours. In reading their stories you will see yourself and find the words you need to express what being a JW has come to be for you