Don't give up - be your own self - listen to your own intuition and be proud to use your own brain.
On a clear day, you can see forever......remember, compared to you, your jw parents have had many days clouded with brainwashing. I had 42 years worth being raised as a jw - but now my brain has been washed clean! (...to use their thought...)
My teen son, raised as a jw like you, was in great pain and I couldn't believe that there would be any "god/organization/way of life" that would expect/demand a parent to become so heartsick to see their child use their own brain in a way that wasn't identical to them. (ie: crying moms)
Well, I wasn't gonna cry over seeing him THINK differently, and to reverse a "platform experience" :
As a result of allowing him, while still a minor in our home, to THINK, his dad and I and brother all started to THINK and be honest with one another and have all walked away from the cult - hand in hand with him. He was the cause of US activatating our brains and the joy i now have as a parent, observing him enjoying life and being the person he always was, hidden from view, is indescribeable. May your mom one day know that same joy.
Appeal to her womanly sensibilities in whatever way you can. Be loving and kind in explaining your thoughts. How can a mom resist that?
**** Find a copy of the 8-8-88 AWAKE and share the articles with your folks on one CHOOSING their own religion vs. CHANCE of being born into one. ***
I would suggest too, in addition to all the great folks you will meet here at JWD, that you talk to a school counselor, and/or, find in the community some resources for teens that often offer no cost counseling and/or mental health care and get professional help, particularly if you are feeling depressed or overwhelmed.
If you'd ever like to talk more, feel free to pm me and my family.