WILL THE ELDERS D'F ME FOR MOVING OUT? Today is the DAY!

by stillAwitness 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • stillAwitness
    stillAwitness

    I am in the process of packing all of my stuff into my little 4 door Mitsubishi (which I have to bring back of course since my mom won't let me keep the car) with just $255 to my name. Here's my previous story: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/116282/1.ashx

    Its both an exciting and scary time for me but I did have one important question to ask:

    Will the Elders D'F for moving out? I plan on telling my folks that I have a roomate now and I will be living downtown. That simple for those in the real world but to JW's its like saying you are having a sex change.

    Anyways, I want to make sure I am doing this right to avoid the elders D'F me. I plan on not telling them nor my folks my address so will that just make them madder and D'F me anyway?

    Am I supposed to just say I need time to myself and hope they forget about me eventually. I'm not a huge fixture in the hall. Most people think I am "new" when they bump into me but I have been going there for 3 years!

    What do you guys thinK? Please send me your thoughts. I will be checkin the computer in between packing.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    I assume that you are 18 or older. If you are and you decide to move, even without your parents approval, you have done nothing unbiblical. All you did was move. If you are doing anything against any rules, ie: drugs, sex, stealing etc., that's another story. You will have stresses alright. I wish you success. Enjoy the struggle. W.Once

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    Nope. It's OK with them for you to move out on your own with or without a roommate.

    The problem the elders and the congregation will have is that you are moving in with a man. Some even have trouble with a male and female sibling living together.

    Congrats on the move!

    Time to get on with your life. Play well.

    -Aude.

  • blondie
    blondie

    What would you be DF'd for if just moving out; you aren't stealing anything are you. It's a good plan not to tell them your address. Now be sure that you realize that some elders like to play private investigator and park outside where you live.

    Blondie

  • carla
    carla

    Are jw young adults not allowed to move out from parents home with the exception of marriage or moving to where the 'need is great'? (or Bethel)

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet


    Good luck with the move - it takes guts and its hard when you aren't financially well off but its worth it for the freedom. However you may find that once they get your address you will be stalked and watched. Initially it will be with a view of bringing you back to the fold. I assume you dont plan to attend meetings or go on FS? They will be looking for any clues that you are committing DF offences whilst moved out - so expect to be watched. It depends on how diligent/fundamnetalist your folks are - they may turn a blind eye and not want to know so they cant report any wrong doing to the elders. Remember you need two witnesses (which can include yourself if you confess) to be condemned to DF-ing. Beware of your parents popping round etc - in retrospect I know mine did to find evidence of of drugs/sex/drinking anything - they weren't just being helpful.

    but in short no you cannot be DFed for leaving home - broadly speaking check out the ten commandments and if its you plan on doing anything it says not to then make sure there are no witnesses to your doing it.

    Best wishes and happy packing!

  • blondie
    blondie

    Carla, when jw children turn 18, they can do whatever they want, they are legally considered adults. They just can't do it under their parents roof without their permission.

  • Warlock
    Warlock

    Stilla,

    If you want to talk to the elders at all, just tell them your parents kicked you out and what are you supposed to do? Live in a park?

    Warlock

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    First of all, I would ask you this...Are you "in the truth" or not? Do you want to maintain a relationship with the jw's?

    If you answered NO to either of those questions, I ask you ..."Why worry what they think or do?"

    Do what makes you happy and fulfilled in life. If you try to make the dubs happy, you will spend your life in misery trying.

    Best thing I ever did was to quit worrying about what they thought.

    My opinion only.

    Peace.

    Stealth453

  • carla
    carla

    Blondie,

    I understand that part, just wondering if the kid would be considered weak or bad association for trying to spread their wings. Moving in with a man I understand would be a dfing offense.

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