Shepherding Call

95stormfront

Just what the hell do I have to do to get my wife to understand that I do not welcome these type of visits? One elder made several calls to her asking when would be a good time to come by for a visit, yet, when they (plural) get to my home, it's me their primarily interested in talking to. Hell....I didn't ask for a visit and have told them on more than one occasion that I'm entirely satisfied with my life as it is and that if or when I need any assistance from them that I will call them? The last couple of times, she always, conveniently finds something else that needs her attention leaving me to play twenty questions with their trying to pry into my schedule to slip in WT bullshit. My patience has worn thin.....then next time they ask for a visit with the pretense of wanting to talk to me, I'm not going to be a very nice guy.

BlackSwan of Memphis

Have you point blank told her that if she wishes to visit with them that is fine, but you want to be given at least 24 hours notice so that you can make other arrangements to be gone?

And if she still does it even one more time, get up and leave? And if she pitches a fit, tell her, "I expressed to you my wishes on this and you have chosen to act against them, this is my response?"

Just a thought.

BSoM

blondie

Have you point blank told her that if she wishes to visit with them that is fine, but you want to be given at least 24 hours notice so that you can make other arrangements to be gone?
And if she still does it even one more time, get up and leave? And if she pitches a fit, tell her, "I expressed to you my wishes on this and you have chosen to act against them, this is my response?"

Exactly, my thought. Just have somewhere to go (since you didn't invite them) and go. If you wife continues to do after the above, she is not respecting you personally. What if you invited a Baptist minister to come by and talk to her?

Blondie

ringo5

Hey, you use the "time wisely"!
Whenever they come, just get out your knife sharpening kit and sharpen every knife in the utensil drawer!
(whilst staring across the room at them without saying a word)

XJW4EVR

It's simple, ask them to leave. Then tell your wife that under no circumstances will you allow them into your home.

BlackSwan of Memphis

It's simple, ask them to leave. Then tell your wife that under no circumstances will you allow them into your home.

No offense xjw, but the only reason I would be cautious about this, is his wife could take on the whole "I'm being persecuted" thing and use it against him. But I had thought of this initially myself. BSoM (of the trying to think from the wife's perspective class )

undercover

This could be tricky but it worked for me. Ask questions that they can't answer.

I stuck to WT doctrine that couldn't be supported by either the Bible or historical records. I asked about 607 vs 586/587. I asked about the DFing of people over transgressions that are not mentioned in the Bible.

It ended up in circular reasoning and arguing, but what it accomplished was that they got as tired of going in circles as I did of they're going in circles and they gave up. One elder admitted that he couldn't answer me satisfactorily and if I couldn't accept the beliefs on faith, well, they'd just leave me alone until I "worked things out". Haven't heard a peep out of them since.

This may not work with elders who are on a witch hunt, however. If they're looking to hang you with your own words, it might just egg them on to try to out you. It does work well with elders who might have been considered friends and who might be reluctant to pursue any kind of judicial action against you.

Why Georgia

When they arrive, just say honey...the friends are here and leave your house.

If you need an excuse say you have diarrhea /nausea/ upset stomach and need to go get some medication....

I would then go to a movie and eat popcorn until my eyes burst out of my head...

Don't answer the cellphone, etc. Be out of touch.

Doing this a few times should send the message to them and your wife that you don't want to play their games.

I say ...why waste any energy on the drones. Go about your life and be happy.

Best Regards,

Chrystal

Justice-One

Whenever they come, just get out your knife sharpening kit and sharpen every knife in the utensil drawer!

I've found that being in the middle of cleaning my rifle and .45 works even better.

XJW4EVR

It's simple, ask them to leave. Then tell your wife that under no circumstances will you allow them into your home.
No offense xjw, but the only reason I would be cautious about this, is his wife could take on the whole "I'm being persecuted" thing and use it against him. But I had thought of this initially myself. BSoM (of the trying to think from the wife's perspective class )

No offense taken. I understand exactly how he feels and what he is going through. My ex did this to me twice. The first time I allowed them to stay until one of the elders attempted to become a father figure with me. I asked him to leave, but the other to stay. The second time they came, my ex told me they were coming. Before I left work that day (I was managing a retail store) I told my Asst. to call me around 7:15pm, and tell me that I was needed at the store. I told them that I had to close the store, and would not be back until 10pm.

When I got back I told my then-wife, that I wanted to be made aware of any visits by the elders before they came. I told that since I am the head of the home, she needed to submit to my authority, and respect my wishes. She did not play the persecuted wife card, since I never stopped her from going to meetings. She pretty much stopped being a J-Dub when the church I began attending assisted us with monetary help during a financial crisis, and the Elders refused.

Shepherding Call

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