HELP!! ADVICE....Saying NO to pioneering

by Kristofer 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • Uzzah

    she could try the following:

    "Well brother Elder, I am barely a good publisher. The principle of 'counting the cost' comes into play. It leads me to believe I would be a really bad pioneer. I think it is best to improve myself as a publisher first. I can set pioneering as a goal but want to develop more as a publisher first."

    They will counter with "pioneering is the best way to become better." but she can stand firm. They will most likely be led to believe it is a self-esteem/lack of confidence thing as opposed to a spiritual problem.

    Just one idea.

  • Warlock

    She should just tell them what some told me in the past. "Pioneering is just not on my heart right now, but maybe I can do it in the future". That is an honest answer and will probably gain more sympathy than condemnation.


  • greendawn

    I just wonder why they chose her out of all people in their congo to pressure into pioneering. She can just refuse and end the story there, are those pressuring her pioneering themselves?

  • tijkmo
    No, she can't be df'd just because she doesn't want to pioneer


    but she could get df-ed

    then she couldnt pioneer

  • Finally-Free

    Alternatively, she could agree to pioneer and just lie about her time like the rest of them do. She could carry on with her life as usual, and when asked she could make up encouraging experiences about getting time on her lunch breaks, informal witnessing to people at school/work, at the mall, etc.

    The key to being a good example in the congregation is mastering the art of deception.


  • karen96

    She can't get df'd, but they can make her feel guilty as hell. I agree with Uzzah's advise. Tell the elders that she wants to improve as a publisher first, since pioneers are to be an example for the rest of the cong.

    Also, what do her parents say? Are they asking the elders to encourage her to pioneer, or do they care? Maybe say "My parents and I are discussing my options, but thank you for the suggestion."


  • target

    She could say she will give it some thought and get back to them. And just keep repeating that every time they ask


  • LovesDubs

    "I am weighing all of my options at this time and will have to get back to you on that. I have to go pray on the matter and when Jehovah replies to me, you will be the first to know."

  • undercover

    She could just say, "I don't want to..." and leave it at that.

    They can't make her. Yea, they might want to "help" her and all that, but if she just says "I've made my decision on what I'm going to do for the next year or so and pioneering isn't it and I'd appreciate it if you'd quit bugging me about it" and make it clear that she isn't going to discuss it anymore, there's not much else they can do.

    Then when she's ready to make her break, she can leave and not look back.

    Her parents are another story. That would be more of an issue if they were requiring her to pioneer while still a minor living in their house. But then again, pioneering isn't a signed contract or anything. She could fake it until she's ready to leave, then leave. Boom. End of pioneering.

  • Kristofer

    Thank you for the advice everyone. She has been reading all your responses. It seems like a tough situation to be in, regardless. She's been lurking on this site for a bit. If anyone comes up with any other good ideas, know that it will help her a great deal...

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